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Outside the Lines Newsletter

IN THIS ISSUE...

Subj: How to say Goodbye (and how to say Hello)

Say Hello

I'm going to get into the goodbye part in just a minute. But before
I do, take the opportunity to deepen our connection...

1. Sign up for the Great Work blog - weekly goodness while you're
waiting for this awesome newsletter
=> email delivery [
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2. Connect with me on LinkedIn
=> This is the main social media site I use [
http://ca.linkedin.com/in/michaelbungaystanier]

3. Follow me on Twitter
=> It's a good way for some quick interaction [
http://twitter.com/#!/boxofcrayons]

4. "Like me" on Facebook
=> We've just launched a new Box of Crayons fan page. [
http://www.facebook.com/boxofcrayons.biz

This week I've been methodically unfriending my 1897 friends from
my personal Facebook page. It's all part of an on-going process to
get clearer and smarter about how Box of Crayons and I show up in
the social media space, and one of the things I'm doing is making
this Facebook page just family and a few of my closest friends. 

It's been both sobering and sad to say good-bye to these people. 

Sobering, because I simply have no idea who most of them they are.
It's a reflection of my vanity and my laziness that they ended up
on my list at all. It stroked my ego to be asked to "friend up" and
it was easier to say Yes than No.

Sad, because some of the people I did know - but I don't now. They
were friends and companions from different lives I've lived, and
I've failed to keep blowing on the embers of those friendships and
now there's only grey ash.

I talked about this long ago - it's part of the 6th principle here
[http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/free/movies/eightprinciples/ ] and the
fifth question here [ 
http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/free/movies/fivequestions/ ] but it's
taking me a while to learn this lesson myself.

Here's what I've been reminded of this time around.


1. You never know where you find your friends

It only gets harder to find and keep your friends as you get older.
I've learned this the hard way, as I've moved around different
cities and had to leave friends behind and begin again. You've
probably experienced it too as you've gotten busy with your own
life.

So how do you begin again?

Sometimes you get lucky. You find that person where you have the
instant connection. The same sense of humour. The same hooks on
what matters. It's as if there's an instant bridge between the two
of you.

That's glorious - and I suspect rare.

More common is the friendship that grows from persistence. You show
up for that first get-to-know-you-coffee, and there's the glimmer
of something there. So you have a beer, and enjoy the conversation
enough. And you catch up for a chat and that's fun. Then one of you
picks up the phone to say hi. And before you know it, you've become
friends, with hundreds of small strands of experience holding you
together.

When I think of some of my closest friends now, I think to myself:
Who saw that coming?

=> Who might be worth a little more investment of your time? Who
could you invite in?


2. It's not always ash

To pick up on my rather grim metaphor before, sometimes friendships
that seem to have passed on are just lying dormant waiting for
something cool to happen.

When I was 14 years, I was deeply into Dungeons & Dragons. What
excited me most was not the actual playing of the game - striding
down a slime-filled corridor on the search for gold pieces and
skewering an orc or seven with an arrow. It was in the designing of
the dungeon, creating this small universe of adventure and
daring-do.

(And yes, I'm now an author and facilitator. Same skills, just less
chain mail.)

My working partner at that time was Pete from my high school. Not
only was he cool, but he had a great eye and could draw. We spent
hours huddled around the table turning graph paper into something
beautiful.

Time moves on and I discover that Pete is now living in Brooklyn
and building what will soon be the coolest hotel in NYC - which
means, arguably the world. 

And - amazingly, fantastically - hanging out with him is as
delightful as it ever was. But still less chain mail.

=> If you could rekindle one friendship, which one would it be?


2. Numbers are nothing

Quantity is nothing.

Quality is everything.

And time spent on quantity is time lost to quality.

=> Who should you defriend?


4. Now's a good time

To make a call.

To write a note.

To arrange a meet up.

To look someone in the eyes and say you're pretty damn awesome.

To ask for help.

To accept them fully.

To have some fun.

=> Will you pick one of these for one of your friends and act upon
it?


 ==>Don't Take My Word For It  


Smart people thinking out loud about planning.

Could we see when and where we are to meet again, we would be more
tender when we bid our friends goodbye.
Ouida

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent
together that matters, not how we left it.
Trey Parker

Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels
to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing
away of oneself and an eventual extinction.
Jean Dubuffet

The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of
love is hello, goodbye.
Jimi Hendrix

Every goodbye is the birth of a memory.
Dutch proverb



I get up every morning determined to both change the world and
planning to have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes
planning my day difficult.
E.B. White Northam, author


 ==>I'm Looking for Program Leaders 

Later this month I'll be opening up applications to be Program
Leaders for Box of Crayons' programs [ 
http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/programs/ ].

In 2011 we sold more than a million dollars worth of programs (woo
hoo!) to organizations around the world and we're looking for some
other fantastic people to join the team to market and deliver the
programs. (You can see some the members of our faculty here [
http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/about-box-of-crayons/faculty/ ].)

This isn't for everyone. Experience tells us for this to be a
success, you will need:

	Entrepreneurial gusto - you'll need to find your clients

	Corporate gravitas - we primarily serve Fortune 1000 companies

	Facilitation nous - you're elegant and fluid in front of a group

	Coaching roots - you know the basics of coaching.

This seems to be a best fit if you're looking to add to an existing
portfolio. In other words, you've already been successfully selling
services to out clients and you want something new, cool (and
profitable) to add to the mix.

It also can be an advantage to have a colleague or partner you
might work with - although our Program Leader who generated the
most business for the last two years works by himself.

If you want to be on the "tell me more" list, just send an email to
admin@boxofcrayons.biz to register your interest and you'll be the
first to know. 




Reprint

I'd be delighted if you should wish to reprint (for free) any part
of Outside the Lines in your newsletters, websites, and message
boards. Simply include the following attribution:

    Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder and Senior Partner of Box
of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work
and more Great Work. He is the author of Do More Great Work and Get
Unstuck & Get Going, and the creator of The Alchemy of Great Work,
The Great Work Movie, The 5.75 Questions You've Been Avoiding and
The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun. Michael was a Rhodes
Scholar and the 2006 Canadian Coach of the Year. He is Australian
and now lives in Canada.

Schedule

Outside the Lines is distributed once a month. Your contact
information is never traded, never rented, never sold. I send out
an extra email one to three times a month detailing programs and
offers.
 
visit us online at http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/