Transition
Aging Parents
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Your source of insight and
information to help your aging
parents "thrive and find joy" in every stage of their life!
A Note
from Dale
Bi-Weekly Ezine Issue November 21, 2010 Volume 2 Issue 23
- Dale's Notes - Happy Thanksgiving!
- Featured Article - Checklist as You Visit Your Aging Parent this Thanksgiving
- Media Review- "Soar with the Eagles" by Dr. Jamie Huysman
- Where's Dale - My speaking/book tour to Atlanta, Orlando, Tampa in January
- My Book - "Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change"
(This Ezine is published bi-weekly on Sundays. You are on our list because you signed up for it at TransitionAgingParents.com. To change your subscription, see link at the end of this email. To view past issues, click here)
A Note from Dale
Hello! It's that time of year again. The holidays are upon us. If there's one wish I have for you ... is that you will be able to truly be present with your loved ones as you gather together at Thanksgiving. If you've been following me for a while, you know I'm a big advocate of "slow down, observe and listen." An amazing thing happens when we slow down. We find a calm and peace within ourselves. Caregiving can be one of the most challenging experiences in our lives, but if we approach our family members with a spirit of love and respect, we can all be transformed.
In today's update, I want to provide 3 powerful approaches for those of us with a parent with dementia. As I visit care facilities, interview experts and listen to stories of families, I can say, without a doubt, that we can reach those with dementia in a way that would likely surprise the general population. Here are some sources to check out:
- Watch this video interview with Gary Glazner, founder of the Alzheimer's Poetry Project. Listen as he describes the power of poetry in touching those with dementia. To listen, click here.
- Check out the book, "Validation Techniques for Dementia Care: The Family Caregiver's Guide to Improving Communication" by Viki de Klerk-Rubin. This book describes the "Validation" caring and empathetic approach that has been used for years around the world. You can use it to improve communication, help reduce challenging behavior, lower stress and anxiety for yourself and your loved one.
- Listen to my interview on Nov. 30th with Loren Shook and Stephen Winner, authors of "The Silverado Story", and founders of Silverado Senior Living. We can learn so much from their approach! I recently completed their book and am very much looking forward to my conversation with Loren and Stephen.
On to our ezine....
Our featured article offers a checklist of items to consider when you visit your aging parent at Thanksgiving. I hope it will be helpful to you. I've included a link to a beautiful and inspiring movie, "Soar with the Eagles." Each of us and our aging parents face fear, but we can encourage each other and treat each other with love and respect. We truly are on this journey together. And, be sure to mark your calendar for the last radio show of the Fall, "The Silverado Story."
Finally, to learn how my ADAPT method of caregiving can help you and your family, click here. If you prefer listening to my interview with Susan Baida (eCareDiary.com), click here.
As always, my best wishes to you and your parent(s) as you journey together,
Dale Carter...
PS: Welcome to all my new subscribers! I am so very grateful to have you as part of our Transition Aging Parents community. I think you'll love the information, tips, and inspiration you'll be receiving!
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." ~Mother Teresa
(Note: If there is a topic, resource or person that you would like me to highlight in future issues, please write to me at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com)
Featured Article
"Checklist as You Visit Aging Parents this Thanksgiving"
Today, I want to highlight the main points of a wonderful article
that I read recently. It pointed out that around the holidays,
admissions spike at nursing homes and assisted living facilities. I
asked a nurse friend of mine, "Is this true" and she said, "It
definitely is". So, why?
Many of us live across the country from "aging in place" parents. A
lot can happen in one year, in terms of your parent's health and home.
If you find yourself in a home that's in disarray or facing someone who
is in frail health, you may find yourself in a reactive mode, wanting to
jump at a solution. You may want to immediately ask direct questions.
But that will likely put the your parent on the defense. There's a
better way to approach the situation.
Before you leave for your holiday visit, read the major points of
this well-written article. A link to the full article is below. And, by
all means, if you face a deteriorating or emergency situation with your
parent, take a step back (and some deep breaths)...and try to frame the
situation with an empathetic and loving approach.
Here are the main points of the checklist:
1. Look in the frig (is there outdated food in it?)
2. Drive their car (check the state of the tires, oil, antifreeze)
3. Take a peek at the mail (keep an eye out for unpaid bills)
4. Investigate the bathroom (check for cleanliness)
5. Take a note of how the pets are doing
6. Talk to the neighbors
(a bonus is establishing a relationship with the neighbors and also
someone to keep an eye on their home and them, even if just from the
outside)
7. Identify some benchmarks ( consider marked declines from the previous year)
8. Go to the source.
This is probably the most important 'next' step. Take the time to sit
down with your parent, listen to their concerns, worries and
perceptions. Ask what you can do to help. As when dealing with any of
life's difficult problems, oftentimes an individual (young or old) needs
time to process a conversation, suggestions, etc. Give your loved one
time to let your conversation sink in. Then, after the holiday, you can
(as a family and 'team') engage in devising plan for solutions that meet
your parent's needs.
Here is a link to the complete article:
http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/looking-in-on-aging-relatives-a-home-for-the-holidays-checklist
BlogTalkRadio - Fall Lineup
Our Fall Series has been terrific with the following guests and topics. Archived recordings are available for these and previous shows by clicking here.
- Patricia Grace advising on "Sources of Financial Help for Your Aging Parent"
- Missy Buchanan sharing her message of spiritual encouragement in "Living With Purpose in a Worn-Out Body"
- Kim Linder advising how to adapt to our caregiver role when a parent transitions into Assisted Living
- PK Beville sharing how her organization fulfills the dreams of elders and how her Virtual Dementia Tour kit can help family caregivers.
- Dr. Jamie Huysman educating us on caregiver compassion fatigue and caregiver burnout. Every caregiver and family member needs to hear what Dr. Jamie shared with us!
One Show Left!!! November 30th, 1pm Eastern.
- "Over 3,300 memory-impaired people who couldn't walk when they came to Silverado have begun to walk again.
- More than 2,400 of those unable to eat on their own regained that ability.
- The number of medications Silverado's residents take each day is reduced by as much as 50%. Their physical and mental health improves as a result."
Listening to Loren and Stephen, we can each learn how to more effectively and lovingly communicate with those with dementia. I encourage you to listen live and call in with your questions.
Tuesday, Nov. 30th, 1pm Eastern. Call-in Number: (347) 857-1461 or to listen via the web, click here.
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