Transition
Aging Parents
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Your source of insight and
information to help your aging
parents "thrive and find joy" in every stage of their life!
A Note
from Dale
Bi-Weekly Ezine Issue October 24, 2010 Volume 2 Issue 21
- Dale's Notes - Fall Updates
- Featured Article - Caring for the Caregiver - Five Key Strategies
- Media Review- "Persevere" movie
- Where's Dale - Presentations and Interviews
- My Book - "Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change"
(This Ezine is published bi-weekly on Sundays. You are on our list because you signed up for it at TransitionAgingParents.com. To change your subscription, see link at the end of this email. To view past issues, click here)
A Note from Dale
Hello! Hope you are enjoying your fall weekend! Today's issue is all about "caring for the caregiver." The following updates support that theme, and provide several ways in which to partake, by reading, listening and viewing. I sincerely hope the information presented here will help you in your caregiving journey:
- Are you a long-distance caregiver? Even if you're not, this publication from the National Institute on Aging is one of the best resources I've found. "So Far Away, 20 Questions and Answers for Long-Distance Caregivers." This may sound like a Q&A type article. But, it is a comprehensive guide for any caregiver. Solid information presented in a easy-to-read format. Every time I read it, I find a new morsel of wisdom. To access this document, click here.
- Ever thought of humor as a "must have" resource for your caregiving? Don't miss out on its power. Today, I ordered the book, "The Magic of Humor in Caregiving." To read more about James Sherman's book, click here.
- If you enjoy listening, check out my recent interview with Missy Buchanan. In her Aging and Faith work, she focuses on providing spiritual encouragement to older adults and their families, by her books and her inspirational speaking. To hear our interview, click here.
- If you prefer watching interviews, check out eCareDiary's interview at the AARP conference with Margery Pabst, award-winning author of "EnrichYour Caregiving Journey." To view the video interview, click here.
.
On to our ezine....
Our featured article highlights five key strategies for every caregiver to consider to manage their own health and well-being. Our Fall radio interview series continues. Our next 4 guests include authors and experts, cover a broad array of caregiving topics.
Finally, to learn how my ADAPT method of caregiving can help you and your family, click here. If you prefer listening to my interview with Susan Baida (eCareDiary.com), click here.
As always, my best wishes to you and your parent(s) as you journey together,
Dale Carter...
PS: Welcome to all my new subscribers! I am so very grateful to have you as part of our Transition Aging Parents community. I think you'll love the information, tips, and inspiration you'll be receiving!
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." ~Mother Teresa
(Note: If there is a topic, resource or person that you would like me to highlight in future issues, please write to me at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com)
Featured Article
"Caring for the Caregiver - Five Strategies to Help You"
As a caregiver, have you heard these staggering facts?
- Stress of caregiving for a family member with dementia has been shown to impact a person's immune system for up to 3 years after their caregiving ends, thus increasing their chances of developing a chronic disease.
- 40%-70% of family caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression.
- Family caregivers experiencing extreme stress have been shown to age prematurely. This level of stress can take as much as 10 years off a caregiver's life.
(Source: National Family Caregivers Association website)
As caregivers, we need to take a step back and consciously decide to take action to care for ourselves. A lot has been written about support groups and respite care, and they are incredibly important. I want to describe 5 other key strategies to keep in mind each and every day.
- Be proactive about your own health (physical, mental, and emotional.) When I asked caregivers in a recent seminar, "Do you have regular physical, dental, eye exams and screenings?", a common answer was "no", followed by "I had forgotten about me." Eating right, a daily walk and enough sleep can make a big difference in your long-term health. Also, don't overlook mental and emotional health. If you have had a past history of alcohol or drug abuse or a history of depression, you are at risk. I strongly encourage you to seek out screening and treatment now.
- Set healthy boundaries. Don't get caught in the trap of thinking that only you can meet all of your aging parent's needs. There are family members, friends, community members as well as professional services available. Each person brings their unique strengths, time and energy to your parent, providing together what you alone cannot. But, what about those toxic relationships? Are you dealing with an abusive parent, spouse or relative? You've done all you can, reached out in every way possible, and you are still confronted with abuse. Recognize it is not about you, and seek professional help.
- Laugh often. Laughter has been shown to strengthen the immune system, improve circulation, and lessen stress. It restores a sense of well-being. It is not possible to laugh and feel sad at the same time. You don't have to be a good joke teller. I always mess up the punch line! That's ok. My mother will often turn on her favorite old movie channel, and we'll spend a couple of hours laughing our heads off at good, old-fashioned comedy. Recently, after watching a Doris Day movie together, my mother remarked, "the pain in my legs is gone." I said, "the pain in my head is gone." Laughter is one of those underrated powerful things.
- Feed your spirit. In the midst of all the medical crises and physical challenges of aging, do not lose sight of the need and benefit of spiritual encouragement, for your parents and also for yourself. In my recent interview with Missy Buchanan, she spoke about how her elderly parents came close to a "spiritual desert." Their health conditions prevented them from attending church and reading passages in their Bible. I suddenly realized that caregivers are at the same risk due to being isolated and overwhelmed by caregiving. Reach out to your faith communities for support services. There are also wonderful books for reflection, inspiration and support. Although Missy Buchanan wrote her books of devotionals for older adults, I highly recommend them for adult daughters and sons, for the support and insight they offer.
- Pursue an outside interest. It is far too easy for caregivers to lose themselves in caregiving. Pursuing an interest that is just for you will help you regain a health perspective, give you energy and help you regain joy. Think you don't have time? Then schedule it into your day and week, much as you would a doctor's appointment. But, you get to enjoy this appointment! Ideas for an outside interest? A brief walk in nature can do wonders. Listen to the birds. Marvel at the clouds. How about escaping to another time and place by reading a few chapters of a novel? Play with your grandchild or any child. Play your favorite instrument. Paint. Whatever it is, let yourself be totally immersed. Allow yourself to feel spontaneous joy.
My hope is that you will select at least one of the strategies above and try it out this week. My son just shared a cute story with me. There are 12 frogs sitting on a log, and all 12 decided to jump into the pond. How many frogs are left on the log? 12, because none of them took action and jumped in. The moral of the story: don't just read my article!
(Please feel free to email me with special strategies that have worked well for you. dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com)
BlogTalkRadio - Fall Lineup
Our Fall Series has gotten off to a great start with Patricia Grace sharing "Sources of Financial Help for Your Aging Parent" and Missy Buchanan sharing her message of spiritual encouragement in "Living With Purpose in a Worn-Out Body." Archived recordings are available for these and previous shows by clicking here.
There are still 4 shows left with featured guests, sharing their knowledge, expertise and personal experience in caregiving. We cover an array of topics and offer you helpful resources, insights into caregiving, and actionable tools and strategies. As one of my seminar attendees wrote, in her testimonial, "Caring for an aging parent is a lonely journey,
kind of stumbling in the dark. This seminar was like turning a light on
so we could see which way to turn."
I sincerely hope that these radio interviews will be that light for you!
(Archived recordings of previous interviews can be found at: http://www.transitionagingparents.com/podcasts/)
October 26th: Parent residing in Assisted Living? What's My Role as a
Caregiver?
So your parent has moved into an assisted living community. Do you find yourself confused about how to transition
from being a full-time caregiver? Your parent needs you now more than
ever.
Kim Linder, host of The Caregiver
Hour, will share how we can best advocate and care for our parent after such a transition.
Nov 2nd: Granting Dreams for Elders:
Changing the Perception of Aging
P.K. Beville, founder of Second Wind Dreams,
joins us to share her organization's wonderful work of fulfilling dreams
for older adults. "Through the fulfillment of dreams and innovative
educational programs, Second Wind Dreams, an international non profit,
enhances quality of life for those living in eldercare communities and
changes the perception aging." Join P.K. and me as we discuss this very
important work, and she shares some amazing stories about the people and
dreams they have fulfilled.
Nov 16th: Dr.
Jamie Huysman Are You at Risk for Caregiver
Compassion Fatigue?
Dr. Jamie Huysman (psychologist,
psychiatric social worker, and co-founder of Leeze Gibbons Memory
Foundation) joins me to share the warning signs and elements of
compassion fatigue and care provider burnout. He'll also explore some
solutions and tools in creating your own personal self-care plan. Catch
a glimpse of some of Dr. Jamie's very important work by clicking here.
Nov
30th: Loren Shook and Stephen Winner. The Silverado Story - A Memory-Care
Culture Where Love is Greater than Fear.
Loren
Shook, Stephen Winner (co-founders of The Silverado and co-authors of
this soon-to-be published
book (title above) will be with us to discuss the wonderful culture and
care at Silverado Assisted Living communities and their new
book.
NOTE: Soon I will begin working on our 2011 lineup for "Transition Aging Parents" radio show. I'd love to hear your suggestions for show topics and guests. You can email me at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com Thank you!
Media Review
"Persevere Movie"
Sometimes we get to the point where we feel we have nothing more to give. This short video, with its beautiful photos and quotes, will lift you up.
Thanks to my friend and radio show guest, Dr. Jamie Huysman. (Dr. Jamie will be my guest November 16th, 10am Eastern)
Where's Dale?
- October 25th. I will be presenting "Five Wishes" as part of the Community Seminar for Baby Boomers at Holy Cross College, Notre Dame, Indiana.
- November 13th. I will be the keynote speaker at REAL Services' Caregiver Wellness Day. "ADAPT: Help for the Caregiver." South Bend, Indiana.
"Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change" (my new book)
"It's almost as though you took all my years of training and managed to put order to it. The ADAPT method of caregiving will decrease stress and give great comfort to families in the eldercare world. My fear is that we can't get it out to people fast enough."
- P.K. Beville, M.S., Founder, Second Wind Dreams & Geriatric Specialist
"This is a book you can read in one sitting, but then refer back to on numerous occasions. I recommend this book as a foundational planning tool for how to best serve loved ones."
- Michael Allard, Director of Operations, Principal Senior Living Group
To read more about this book and how it can help you, click here.
To purchase this book, click here.
(Discount available for orders of 50 or 100 books. If interested, email Dale at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com)
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Note
about Dale
Dale
Carter is
wife, mother of 3 grown children, and long-distance caregiver to her
elderly
mother. She is a former educator and university IT consultant. In
the spring of 2008, a major life experience (helping her elderly mother
through
a major health/life crisis) changed the course of Dale's life work.
Dale
created
"Transition Aging Parents" as a way to share her experience and reach
out to other adult children of aging parents. She provides insight and
shares information to help adult daughters and sons ensure their aging
parents
"thrive and find joy" in every stage of life.
Her
goal is
two-fold: to serve as a resource for adult children as they help their
aging
parents through the many transitions in aging AND to highlight this time
in
their journey together as one of joy, renewed bonds and reflection of
lives
well-lived.
© 2010 Transition Aging Parents.
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