Transition Aging Parents
Your source of insight and information to help your aging parents "thrive and find joy" in every stage of their life!
Bi-Weekly Ezine Issue May 2, 2010 Volume 2 Issue 9
- A Note from Dale - Older Americans Month, Validation technique, new book
- Featured Article - "5 Ways to Help Your Aging Parent Share Their Lifetime Memories"
- Media Review - Sparking Memories with Poetry
- Senior in the Spotlight - Playing Jazz on stage again at 85
(This Ezine is published bi-weekly on Sundays. You are on our list because you signed up for it at TransitionAgingParents.com. To change your subscription, see link at the end of this email)
A Note from Dale
Hello! Happy May. Since May is Older Americans Month, I decided to dedicate this issue to our aging parents. What better way to do that then to help spark their memories and have them share special moments of their lives with us! Each part of this issue is designed to help you do just that.
Our Featured article includes an excerpt from my new book, "Transitioning Aging Parents: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change". The Media Review section includes a wonderful way to spark memories in those with Alzheimer's. And the Senior in the Spotlight features a gentleman with a lifelong passion for performing jazz. Second Wind Dreams helps his dream come true, and he performs again in a Jazz club.
A few other updates: My book is in its final stage with the publisher. As soon as it's available I'll be sure to let you, my subscribers, know first! Last week I attended a seminar on Validation technique, an incredibly powerful method to communicate with those with dementia. I was so impressed by the outcome and results of this technique, that I'll be attending a full-day seminar on May 12th, and then blogging about it. Here is an amazing video of Naomi Feil (founder) breaking through to an Alzheimer's patient. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrZXz10FcVM
There will be no BlogTalkRadio shows in the month of May. I will working on my new E-course offering on Aging in Place and doing some family travel. You can listen to archived recordings of past BlogTalkRadio shows any time at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dalec
As always, my best wishes to you and your parent(s) as you journey together,
Dale Carter...
PS: Welcome to all my new subscribers! I am so very grateful to have you as part of our Transition Aging Parents community. I think you'll love the information, tips, and inspiration you'll be receiving!
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." ~Mother Teresa
(Note: If there is a topic, resource or person that you would like me to highlight in future issues, please write to me at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com)
Featured Article -
5 Ways to Help Your Aging Parent Share Their Lifetime Memories
(Excerpt from Chapter 7 of my new book, Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change)
Your Parent's Legacy
David Solie, in his book, How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, tells us that there are two major factors driving the elderly. One is the drive to control their life. The other is the drive to define their legacy. Yes, even in this later stage of life that many see as a period of decline, our parents are moving forward in a new psychological developmental phase. They are working to make sense of their life and leave behind their legacy.
Even before I met David and read his book, I discovered an elderly friend writing her legacy. When she handed me her book, I remarked how pretty the cover was and then realized she was the author! It had taken her ten years to write, but she had her life history recorded in a published biography. She was so proud, and she had included wonderful pictures, poems, and stories. I felt as if I held a treasure in my hands.
So how can we help our aging parents write their life story? Are there techniques to trigger memories and their details and make that life story as rich as possible?
Here are five ideas I came up with:
- Use Google Earth to locate the places your parent has lived. Check out any photos and the surrounding streets. My mom and I did this on her last visit. She was amazed with the technology, and the street names triggered lots of childhood memories that she shared. It was great fun.
- Take your parent back to their birthplace. My mother and I did this not too long ago. We found where her old one-room schoolhouse had been, the farm her parents rented and cared for, and the gravesites of her grandparents. We found ourselves talking into the wee hours of the morning during that trip.
- Purchase a digital photo frame. I plan to scan in many of my mother's old pictures, load them into the digital frame, and give it to her as a gift. I know this will mean a lot to her, and will be another way for us to talk about her memories.
- Have younger members of the family, perhaps grandchildren, "interview" your parent on video or audio cassette. They can ask what life was like when they were young, who their friends were, and what they enjoyed doing. I recall when I was young I couldn't visualize my grandparents as children until they started telling their stories. I have a vivid memory of my grandmother describing the fear she felt every morning running down the farm lane to school past a bull that was only separated from her by a fence.
- Consider Bcelebrated.com's product/service that provides a process to capture your parent's autobiography.
Copyright 2010 Dale C. Carter & TransitionAgingParents.com
Media Review - Sparking Memories with Poetry
I am always excited to find new ways to utilize the arts to reach those with Alzheimer's. The website for Alzheimer's Poetry Project (APP) is a wonderful resource. APP was founded in 2004 by poet Gary Glazner. This effort has now reached over 9,500 people with Alzheimer's, in the US and abroad.
The mission of the Alzheimer's Poetry Project is to "enhance the quality of life for people with Alzheimer's disease, their families and professional health care workers." Classic poems, commonly learned in childhood, are read to those with Alzheimer's, often while holding hands.
The people served by this program are often in the late stage of Alzheimer's and may no longer be able to hold a conversation. Glazner said it is amazing to see them respond to poems by saying words along with the person/family member reading. It's not unusual for the person with Alzheimer's to laugh at a funny poem or shed a tear while listening to a sad poem. Glazner said so many of these people may not even recognize family members, but when they respond to the poem, it provides a special connection for the person and their family member. "APP is about sparking memories."
If you're a family member, the link below offers an excellent Introduction and list of suggested poems along with complete text for several of the poems.
If you're an eldercare professional interested in starting a APP program in your area, Glazner's contact information is provided. He is available for training and consulting.
Be sure to read the Introduction at the following link, and you'll also be able to find text for several suggested poems at: http://www.alzpoetry.com/book/
Seniors in the Spotlight
In each issue, I want to spotlight a senior who inspires me and hopefully will warm your heart. There are so many wonderful elderly role models. May these stories help us keep a positive perspective on the aging process.
When Second Wind Dreams offered to fulfill any dream for Ernie at age 85, the choice was a no-brainer. Except for the past few years after entering a nursing home, Ernie had performed jazz his entire life. This 2 minute video is sure to put a smile on your face! Performing was a thrill for Ernie and also the crowd in the packed club.
Feel free to share this issue with friends and family, and invite them to subscribe. I will never share email addresses with anyone. And, folks can unsubscribe at any time.
Note about Dale
Dale Carter is wife, mother of 3 grown children, and long-distance caregiver to her elderly mother. She is a former educator and university IT consultant. In the spring of 2008, a major life experience (helping her elderly mother through a major health/life crisis) changed the course of Dale's life work.
Dale created "Transition Aging Parents" as a way to share her experience and reach out to other adult children of aging parents. She provides insight and shares information to help adult daughters and sons ensure their aging parents "thrive and find joy" in every stage of life.
Her goal is two-fold: to serve as a resource for adult children as they help their aging parents through the many transitions in aging AND to highlight this time in their journey together as one of joy, renewed bonds and reflection of lives well-lived.
Her book, Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change, will be released in June, 2010.
© 2010 Transition Aging Parents. All Rights Reserved.
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Dale Carter, founder of Transition Aging Parents, is dedicated to providing insight and information to adult children of aging parents so their parents may "thrive and find joy" in every stage of life. To get your F.R.E.E. 5-Part E-Course and receive her bi-weekly articles on resources, options, and new innovations for aging parents, visithttp://www.transitionagingparents.com
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