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Hello! Happy 4th of July to all our readers in the USA! I hope you have had a great day of family, fun and remembering!
Yesterday, we walked in our neighborhood parade ... our 25th year! Children decorated their bikes, families decorated their dogs, and some of the older adults dressed in costume. After giving prizes to the best decorated and costumed, veterans were called down (by decade) and the crowd cheered! The event ended with balloons being released in memory of those who are no longer with us. A wonderfully memorable event that always seems to be over too soon!
Afterwards, we hosted a family/friends' gathering at our home. So much good food and fellowship. One of my favorite moments was when our 4 year old grandson and 2 year old friend begged to go into a small pool. As I sat on the grass, playing with them, I looked up at our deck where all the older adults had gathered. These are folks who rarely get to interact with children. They were lined up in a row, watching the children, with the same glorious expression their faces, one of utter joy! It was one of those "wow" moments that I will keep keep with me forever!
On to our ezine....
Be sure to catch the list of our upcoming BlogTalkRadio shows with an amazing mix of authors and experts. Upcoming: transforming an ordinary hospital bed into something extraordinary;tips on medication compliance (from a veteran pharmacist); an innovative technique for families of those with Alzheimer's (there is hope!); and excellent insight from an expert on multi-generational conflict. If you've been following me for a while, you know that I am a big proponent of preparing ourselves for the inevitable changes in our aging parents' lives. I plan my show around that goal.
Our featured article today is all about elder mediation. After my interview this week with Shon Ingram (expert elder mediator), I knew I wanted to get his message out to every one of my readers and subscribers.
And, I am very excited to share that my book is published and now available (click here). I hope you will find my new ADAPT framework a helpful tool as you guide your parent through the many changes inherent in their later years. A team of 15 colleagues from around the country helped tremendously with their feedback during the edit process to ensure the book is complete and accurate.
Want to listen to me share how this book will help you and your parent?
As always, my
best wishes to
you and your parent(s) as you journey together,
Dale
Carter...
PS:Welcome to all my new
subscribers!
I am so very grateful to have you as part of our Transition Aging
Parents
community.I think you'll love the
information, tips, and inspiration you'll be receiving!
"Yesterday
is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us
begin." ~Mother Teresa
(Note:If there is a topic, resource or person
that
you would like me to highlight in future issues, please write to me at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com)
Featured Article
"Elder Mediation - How It Can Help You and Your Aging Parent"
If you missed my interview with Shon Ingram (founder
of ElderCare Life Solutions), then you will want to read this article. Shon did a great job of explaining the
benefits of reaching out to an elder mediator and how to get the most out of
using such a service.
Shon shared
that an elder mediator helps families resolve conflict and make the best
decision for their aging parent. Whether
it's dealing with driving issues, choosing a nursing home, or dealing with
end-of-life issues, an elder mediator can be a critical resource.
A mediator is, by definition, "a neutral third party
who facilitates the resolution of conflict involving two or more parties."
Those of us who have experienced challenging family
dynamics during the crisis of a parent know that emotions can flare; it can be
very hard to stay on topic; and, often we lose sight of the end goal. A skilled mediator can help us work through those challenges and
do what's in the best interest of our parents.
Shon shared the following steps in the process.
Step 1,Introductions and ground rules.
It is typical to agree to be respectful, and allow each person to speak
without being interrupted.
Step 2. All parties involved present their side of the story.
Step 3.Issues are clarified, summarized
and prioritized. All parties need to
understand each other's needs.
Step 4.Creative brainstorming of possible solutions, using a whiteboard. There can be 15-20 ideas shared at this
point.
Step 5.Narrowing of options to the best and most workable solution(s).
Step 6. Documentation of the agreement and signing of agreement by all parties.There should be follow-up meeting to
determine if the plan is working or how it needs to be adjusted.
Shon advises that family
members should come to the mediation table with an open mind, and a
thoughtfully prepared list of issues and concerns. The elder mediator (who is unbiased,
objective and knowledgable about aging issues, resources and facilitation),
leads the family to consensus about the best decision for their aging
parent. The mediator does NOT make a
decision for the family.
If an issue is outside his area of expertise, Shon will turn to other professionals
such as elder attorneys, or when faced with difficult end -of-life decisions, the hospital ethics committee.
Shon and his company,
Eldercare Life Solutions, offer elder mediation and geriatric care management
services in Alabama, Tennessee and Georgia. To view the range of services offered and
other resources, click here.
If you are
seeking such services in your area of the country, you may contact your Area
Agency on Aging.
Also, below are Shon's website and two other websites he recommends:
Shon's website, Eldercare Life Solutions, click here.
Website for the National Association of Geriatric Care Managers, click here.
Website for the National Care Planning Council's Long Term Care link, click here.
Media Review -
"9 Alzheimer's Behaviors - What Can a Family Member Do?"
I was really pleased to find this offering by the Alzheimer's Association on their website. For those of us with a family member with Alzheimer's, it is so very hard to know how to respond to changing behaviors, such as
Aggression
Agitation
Confusion
Hallucinations
Repetition
Sleeplessness and Sundowning
Suspicion
Unpredictable Situations
Wandering
This guide is an excellent to-the-point explanation with actionable steps.
To read a brief overview of each behavior and recommended tips for responding, click here.
BlogTalkRadio Show Interviews (confirmed shows for July and August)
Archived recordings of previous interviews and the live show can be found at:
July 20th: Taking the "Hospital" Out of Hospital Beds
Gary Owens, inventor and co-founder of TenderCare Beds, a revolutionary product that literally takes the "hospital" out of hospital beds, will be my guest. Learn about how Gary's suite of products can help your aging parent or anyone who must use a hospital bed. The aesthetics are so important that Gary just didn't stop at transforming the hospital bed. Click here.
July 27th: Taking the Right Medications at the Right Time: How to Help Your Aging Parent
Susan Torrico (pharmacist, founder of OnTimeRX and designer/developer of medication compliance tools & services) joins me to talk about this very important issue. Our show will be all about "medication compliance." Susan will arm us with information and strategies so we can help our aging parents take their medications properly. Medication compliance can make all the difference in our aging parents' health, longevity and quality of life.
Click here.
August 10th: Parent with Alzheimer's? Learn how the Validation Technique Can Help You Communicate
Carrie Gallahan, Executive Director of Blair Ridge Assisted Living and certified Validation Technique trainer, will be my guest. Carrie is passionate about the Validation Technique, helping families and professionals to reach through to those in any stage of Alzheimer's. The exciting part is that if this technique is used in early stages of Alzheimer's, the late stage can be avoided. Click here.
August 17th:Generational Conflict with Your Aging Parent - Why and What Now?
Barbara Friesner (founder of AgeWiseLiving) will be my guest. She will tell us what generational conflicts are and why they happen. Barbara will draw upon her own personal experience and coaching practice, to share tips, strategies and resources for families. Click here.
August 24th - "Happiness is Growing Old at Home"
Maria Tadd, author of the book, "Happiness is Growing Old at Home", will be my guest. Click here.
Where's Dale?
July 7th - I will be presenting "Transitioning Your Aging Parent: The ADAPT method" at The Waterford at Edison Lakes, Mishawaka, IN
July 12th - I am the featured guest on Patricia Grace's Aging with Grace radio show.
If you know of any organizations seeking a speaker about aging parents, please email me at dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com
"Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change" (my new book)
"Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change" is published and now available.
I wrote this book to help adult children and families navigate the many changes their aging parents will face. In the book, I share a new framework, ADAPT, developed from my personal experience, my background as an educator and project manager, and a sincere desire to help families and their aging parents. In reading this book, you will learn how to use the framework, apply specific strategies, and seek out appropriate resources that are right for your their situation. Personal stories are woven throughout to illustrate the concepts.
Join me as I share what I learned in helping my own mother navigate crisis and change to renewed health and happiness.
Discover how to approach any change or crisis in your parent's life with clarity and confidence.
Discover how this new framework will guide you in making the right decisions for your parent while balancing your own personal needs and family responsibilities.
Advance Praise
It's
almost as though you took all my years of training and managed to put order to
it. The ADAPT method of caregiving will decrease stress and give great
comfort to families in the eldercare world. My fear is that we can't
get it out to people fast enough.
~ P.K. Beville,
M.S.
Founder, Second
Wind Dreams & Geriatric Specialists
Author, Virtual Dementia Tour Series
This deceptively small book is one that every adult
with a parent should read. It skillfully guides you step by step through the
process of helping your parent's transition. It's full of helpful resources for
you and your parent. It will be a lifesaver in a time of crisis, but I
recommend you don't wait until then. Get the book now and follow Dale Carter's
ADAPT method to prepare you and your parent for the inevitable changes ahead.
~ Debra Joy, CEO, Bcelebrated
For those entering the
unchartered waters as a caregiver, Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step
Guide Through Crisis & Change is an
invaluable life raft. Dale Carter provides readers with a framework to help
create solutions for the most complex family challenges. The book outlines
countless resources and creative ideas to help the most frazzled caregiver
reduce guilt and offer the freedom to help spend more quality time with their
loved ones.
~ Steve Gurney, Publisher,
Guide to
Retirement Living SourceBook
Whether you are a business
professional trying to help your aging parents, a long distance caregiver or a
stay-at-home caregiver, you need Transitioning Your Aging Parent:
A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change. Dale's
ADAPT Method provides a step-by-step plan which changes overwhelming situations
into manageable ones. My favorite part of the ADAPT Method is that
it balances respecting our aging parent while understanding the needs of the
caregiver. Thank you Dale for creating a straightforward, quick-to-read
guidebook for helping our parents transition through the aging process.
~ Viki Kind, MA
Author, The Caregiver's Path to
Compassionate Decision Making -
Making Choices for Those Who Can't
To preview the book or purchase your copy, click here.
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Note
about Dale
Dale
Carter is
wife, mother of 3 grown children, and long-distance caregiver to her
elderly
mother. She is a former educator and university IT consultant. In
the spring of 2008, a major life experience (helping her elderly mother
through
a major health/life crisis) changed the course of Dale's life work.
Dale
created
"Transition Aging Parents" as a way to share her experience and reach
out to other adult children of aging parents. She provides insight and
shares information to help adult daughters and sons ensure their aging
parents
"thrive and find joy" in every stage of life.
Her
goal is
two-fold: to serve as a resource for adult children as they help their
aging
parents through the many transitions in aging AND to highlight this time
in
their journey together as one of joy, renewed bonds and reflection of
lives
well-lived.
If you wish to use this
article on
your website or in your own ezine, you must include the following: Dale Carter, founder of Transition Aging Parents, is dedicated to
providing
insight and information to adult children of aging parents so their
parents may
"thrive and find joy" in every stage of life. To get your
F.R.E.E. 5-Part E-Course and
receive her bi-weekly articles on resources, options, and new
innovations for
aging parents, visit http://www.transitionagingparents.com
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