Darci Lang

Share a 90%.

I love to compliment people. I have learned that people need to hear positive 90%'s. The ability to compliment people is something we learn at the dinner table that we grew up at. If we grew up being told 90%'s positives, which I was blessed to hear, chances are it is much easier for us to share positives with others.

There is a Mother whose children are involved in an activity with our children. Sylvia is an amazing mother. She is so patient and loving to her two boys. For the months we have shared this activity - seeing each other week after week - she never fails to be one of the nicest mothers I have met. She is a true witness to other parents. Not so surprising, her boys are very special people too.

After weeks of watching her I finally had the chance to tell her how I felt. In a quite corner waiting for our children I walked over and said "My name is Darci and our children share the class together. I have wanted to tell you for weeks now that you are one of the most loving, kind mothers I have ever met. You do a wonderful job parenting your boys".

Sylvia turned to me with huge tears in her eyes and said "Thank you that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me".

As I drove home I wondered about the people in Sylvia's life. How could it be that a stranger can give her the nicest compliment she has ever received? How could it be that this special woman lives in a family where she doesn't hear positive 90%'s? Who is her spouse? Her parents? Her In-Laws? Her friends? How could no one else notice what a wonderful mother she is? Or do they notice and they just don't tell her?

I meet thousands of audience members a year and I have met many who share stories with me of their low self esteem and how they were treated growing up. People who did not hear 90%'s at their dinner table. I know a compliment from someone they love would truly affect them.