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Wounded Little Boys; Broken Grown-up Men

"How could he do this to me? To our children? To God...and to
himself?" nearly all of us cry out in the early days of discovering
that the man we gave our heart and life to has shattered our world
by violating the sanctity of our marriage and giving away what we
believed was ours alone.

Yes; how could he? How could they?

In the twenty years since I first realized I needed the answers to
these painful questions, I've learned that it is a rare man who
wants to hurt his wife this way, and that nearly every sex addict
feels deep remorse and shame.  And I've learned that inside nearly
every grown-up sex addict hides a wounded little boy; a little boy
who still feels the pain of his long-ago emotional wounds because
he hasn't found a way to heal them. And for most, solid, long-term
sexual sobriety remains slippery at best until someone helps that
little boy-turned-grown-up-man shine a healing light on the ancient
lesions of his psyche and his soul and do the hard, slow work of
closing them. 

Continue reading: 
http://www.awomanshealingjourney.com/articles/viewArticle.php?articleID=30



One Addict's Recent Goodbye Letter to Porn

Annonymous

I guess I have to turn my back on you now. You snuck into my life
while I was still young and I let you stay for way too long. You
have been masquerading as a friend, companion and even a healer of
sorts for many years. Sometimes I used you as a fill in for my
other addictions, but when I felt very desperate, I gave you the
lead role  as my primary addiction. 

You failed miserably at everything I thought you offered;
especially in the days when I actually trusted that you had some
value as my friend. Back then, although you totally disgusted me,
you were able to at least temporarily make me forget my problems.
But you never eradicated my pain.

For so long I thought that I could balance the damage you caused to
my life against the benefits of escape. But in time, I finally
realized that there were no benefits and that your influence was
more dangerous than my other addictions could ever be. Because you
were able to masquerade as a normal impulse--and even a healthy
release in times of great agitation, worry and stress--you seemed
and acted normal. So I simply thought that I would know if I had
too much of you for my own good. 

Well, I did not know it and in time you became worse then the
problems I was trying to escape. You would not leave and where was
I to go to get rid of you?

Finally, just today I realized that I could no longer entertain
you. Nor can I provide you with even the smallest doorway into my
life by rationalizing that if a little bit sneaks in, it is OK.
This was, and is, one of your greatest tricks: getting me to
believe that small doses of you were harmless and could not harm
me. 

But now I see that that is like saying arsenic is not dangerous in
small amounts. You are dangerous in any amount and the door is now
closed. I know you will keep knocking because I have given you too
much power and too much knowledge of how my mind works. However,
now I will be giving you something way more than information when
you knock on the door. Now you will be answered by the Holy Spirit,
and you will never pass through him unless I let my faith grow weak.
So this is it. We are parting company. Should you happen to slip
through and wind up in my doorway, you will be met by a person who
no longer needs you; one who has found the healing and strength to
live life without the medication you offered. 
Consequently, your services are no longer needed or desired.