I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday
night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel.
― Audrey Hepburn
In a series of scientific experiments, it was found that people would rather administer electric shocks to themselves than to be alone with their thoughts. I find this really sad. No wonder people feel so
disconnected these days. You can't have a relationship with yourself if you can't be with yourself.
I know from listening to many of my clients, that people are often afraid to be alone because their thoughts are either obsessively negative and/or self-critical. This leads to a downward spiral in their mood, and then they use food to numb out the painful feelings.
Other people are simply afraid to be alone. In today’s world, you can always be connected to a device in one way or another, unfortunately, when unconnected or without company, some people don’t know what to do with themselves. They then turn to food, TV or both to numb out.
Personally, I’ve always loved my solitude. Solitude is nourishing, loneliness isn't. As an introvert, I treasure my aloneness, even more so as I get older. I enjoy people, but I need plenty of alone time to recharge my batteries, process my thoughts and feelings, and enjoy my hobbies (painting, writing, photography), which are all solitary. I'm happiest when alone and immersed in the joy of
creativity.
People are always surprised when I tell them I’m an introvert. They believe the stereotype of the shy, quiet, nerdy introvert. I'm an outgoing and very friendly introvert. The true definition of extroverts and introverts are that extroverts gain energy around others and introverts are energetically drained by other people. They may love being around others but they need solitude
and downtime to recharge their batteries.
As an introvert, I love nothing more than being with one or two special people and having deep, thought provoking conversations. I can’t stand crowds, noisy environments, parties, and I’m not much of a group person unless I’m the one running
it.
