Bipolar: Using the 10/2 Equation
Published: Tue, 10/28/14
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well today.
Today I want to talk about how people
in a manic episode make mistakes when
it comes to other people ("friends").
They tend to choose the wrong people to
surround themselves with (negative or toxic
people) when they are in that episode, and it
comes back to hurt them and their families.
Remember before when I've told you about
Michele and how she taught her children about
picking the right friends by using the 10/2
Equation.
It works like this:
If you are a 10 and they are a 2, and you hang
out with them, you are not going to bring them
up to an 8, they are going to bring you down to
a 4!
So that's what I'm talking about here.
It's hard for a supporter to watch their loved one
go into a manic episode...
Your loved one might get all outgoing and such
(whether that is their normal behavior or behavior
caused by the bipolar disorder)... and the next thing
you know, your loved one is hanging around with
these people...
...and you KNOW that these people are bad for
your loved one, but they just use excuses, or defend
their "new friends"...
Because they can't see how these people are bad
for them.
In a manic episode, your loved one's judgment can
be totally altered by their bipolar disorder.
They may not even realize that these people are bad
for them (or you).
That can be so frustrating for you, because your loved
one just won't listen to you when it comes to their
friends, because they think they're ok, and they may
get defensive about it.
And you don't want to get into a fight with your loved
one over their choice in friends, but you may not know
what else to do!
It's really tough, but you may even have to stand silently
by and watch your loved one get hurt by these "friends."
Maybe they are just negative people and will bring your
loved one down, but that's not as bad as what some will
do -
Some will take advantage of their "new friend" (your
loved one while they're in a manic episode) and possibly
use them for their money, etc.
Even so, your loved one might still defend them!
In my courses/systems, I teach not only about how to
deal with your loved one when they are in a bipolar
episode, but also what to do when they won't listen
to you:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It's very difficult in this situation to get your loved
one to listen to you.
For example:
Michele (who works for me), her mom has bipolar
disorder, just like my mom.
Michele spent hours with her mom, working out a
routine for her to be able to manage her bipolar
disorder.
Her mom was doing great on her routine.
Until she met Mary.
Mary became close friends with Michele's mom.
But Mary decided that Michele's mom didn't need
her routine any more, and that she had better advice
for her.
So guess who Michele's mom listened to?
Well, after awhile, Mary kind of floated away from
Michele's mom, and Michele's mom went into a mini-
episode, most likely caused by the fact that she had no
routine to cling to, like she had before.
Do you see the important point that I'm making here?
Now, I'm not saying that people with bipolar disorder
shouldn't have friends.
But only that they should be VERY particular in who
they choose for friends.
In fact, this is one of the areas where your loved one
should trust you more than themselves.
A manic episode will definitely affect their thoughts
and, like I said before, it will affect their judgment as
well.
If you see that your loved one is making a poor
choice in friends, or even being taken advantage of,
then you should tell them.
Hopefully, they will listen to you.
Or at least think twice about who they are hanging
around with.
I will tell you this as a p.s. -
Michele's mom sure learned her lesson about
choosing her friends more carefully. And now
she sticks to her routine, too!
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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