Bipolar: All-Too-Common Tragedy
Published: Fri, 10/17/14
Hi,
How are things going today?
I hope they're going good for you.
Unfortunately, they aren't going so well for
one person who wrote to me.
This is what they wrote:
"Dave,
Please remove me from your mailing list. I
hate to have to ask you, as I have gotten so
much good information from you, but my
sister who had bipolar disorder killed herself
last week.
She had decided that she was "cured" from her
bipolar disorder and had stopped going to see
her psychiatrist and therapist and wouldn't go
to her bipolar support group any more. She
even stopped taking her medications, saying
that she didn't need them any more.
We (the rest of her family and me) tried to
convince her that it was her medication that
was making her feel so much better, but she
just wouldn't listen to us.
She went into a deep depression, telling us that
we would all be better off without her, and that
life just wasn't worth living, and all kinds of things
like that. We all tried to tell her how much we
loved her and that it was the bipolar disorder that
was making her think like that, but like I said, she
just wouldn't listen.
I just don't understand. How can this disorder be
so deadly? Why aren't more people aware of how
devastating an illness this really is? What could I
have done differently? Is there anything I could
have done to stop her? That's what's really
bugging me. That there's something I could have
done to stop this from happening. That there's
something I should have done but didn't. That way
my sister would still be alive. Somehow I think it's
my fault. Dave, is it my fault? What should I have
done?
--John"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a horrible tragedy.
A needless tragedy.
But, unfortunately, one I hear about all too often.
In my courses/systems, I talk about the statistics that
say that 1 in 5 people who go off their bipolar
medications will kill themselves.
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Michele, who works for me, her sister did the same
thing, and she came to me with the same plea, "Is
there something I could have done to stop her?"
I get asked that question a lot.
There is so much guilt that the family and loved ones
are left with after the person with bipolar disorder
commits suicide after going off their medications.
That's one of the biggest reasons I preach so hard
for people to stay on their medications, no matter
how much they want to go off them.
The chances are just too great (1 in 5) that they will
kill themselves.
Is there something that John could have or should
have done to stop his sister from killing herself?
Unfortunately, we can't control anyone else - we
can't stop them from doing what they will inevitably
do.
In Michele's sister's case, her sister waited until she
knew no one would be there to stop her, and that's
when she did it.
She planned it.
She did not want to be stopped.
The thing is that suicide is not the result of a rational
mind.
When someone with bipolar disorder decides to kill
themselves, they are not thinking clearly.
So there is nothing you can do to stop them.
If they were thinking clearly, they would hear your
pleas that you love them and want them to live and
get better.
They would understand that they are sick and need
help.
But, unfortunately, bipolar disorder is a deadly disease,
and without medication, it can fool the person into
believing all kinds of things, just like it fooled John's
sister into believing that she was "cured" and didn't
need the medication any more.
If your loved one has been talking about going off
their medication, show them this post.
Do whatever you have to do to convince them to stay
on their medication.
You don't want to have to face this all-too-common
tragedy.
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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