Bipolar: Asking Yourself the Tough Questions
Published: Tue, 11/04/14
Hi,
How are you doing today?
I hope you're having a good day.
I'm going to ask you a question. A hard
question, but one you need to ask yourself.
What about YOU?
Have you ever asked yourself that? "What
about ME?"
Sometimes bipolar disorder can take over
your lives to such a degree that you really
can get to the point that you ask yourself
that question. If you have, you need to know
that it is NORMAL! You're not alone -
many supporters ask themselves that question.
Do you sometimes feel as if you have a child
instead of a partner? That's a normal feeling,
too. You may sometimes wonder why you
are in the relationship at all if it only means
taking care of someone who is ill more times
than they are not. And this may be harder on
you than you thought it would be.
Maybe the bipolar disorder cast you in a role
you have no desire to play, but you see no way
out because there is no one else to do it if you
don't.
Maybe you're just plain burnt out. That happens
sometimes. So what about you? If you don't take
care of yourself first, you won't be able to take care
of your loved one. Remember that.
You may be asking yourself, "What about me and
what I want from life?"
Well, what about you? What do you want and need?
If you and your loved one have taken my courses,
you should be learning well how to manage the
bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Now that you have the tools to manage the
disorder, it's time for you to become clear about
the role you want to play in your relationship.
You may feel that the bipolar disorder has taken
the choice away from you. This, too, is a normal
feeling.
When your loved one is in an episode, you may
feel that you HAVE to play the role of the loving
supporter. That you have to hold things together.
But you don't. Everything you do is a choice.
Whether it's going to the hospital when your loved
one is in an episode, helping your loved one take their
medication, or putting up with constant mood swings,
there is a choice. It may not be an easy choice, or you
may feel like you have no choice, but it is all a choice.
If you choose to stay in a relationship where your loved
one is often sick (in an episode), it's important that you at
least know who you are and why you do what you do.
Many of the people who write to me who are married
to a loved one with bipolar disorder say that if they
knew ahead of time what they would be getting into,
they wouldn't have married that person.
Is this you? Do you feel this way?
It's ok if you do, because others do, but not if you let
this feeling turn into a resentment against your loved
one, or you stuff it and it bubbles up inside you and
reflects how you feel about your loved one. You need
to deal with it.
If it's your choice to stay with your loved one, no matter
what (and remember, you do have a choice), then feeling
like that is something that you just have to get over, as it
will get in the way of being a good supporter.
I know, because I am a supporter myself, that sometimes
it's just not good enough to know that you're not alone in
your struggle against bipolar disorder - that you're not the
only one who feels the way you do...
....that so much is expected of you, especially when your
loved one goes into an episode, because even though
you're the one who does all the work, your loved one is
probably the one who gets all the attention.
"In sickness and in health" can be hard to take when it seems
sometimes that there just isn't any "health"! Your role gets
so complicated sometimes that you wonder who you really
are any more:
You often have to be a financial planner, a confidant, a
therapist, a nurse, a parent, a provider, a supporter, and any
number of roles that maybe you didn't sign on for.
This is a lot to ask of you. And many times it is a thankless
job. And, again, if you don't take care of yourself first, you
may burn out from it.
Don't despair if it's wearing you out. It wears everyone out.
Again, ask yourself the tough questions: What about ME?
Who am I? What do I want out of life?
How much longer can I continue on like this?
Can I continue on like this?
Is this all worth it?
Because you need to know the answers.
What do you think?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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