Creative Zen Transitions

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Your garden needs fertilizer in order for the plants to be able to
grow properly. Compost made from kitchen scraps is natural, healthy
for your plants, and good for the ecosystem! To make compost, you
take kitchen waste -- apple cores, vegetable peels, seeds and such
-- and throw it in a pile to rot. You turn it occasionally for a
few months, and let time, microorganisms, moisture, heat, and
nature do the work.

Likewise, your creative garden needs nutrients. Just as time and
nature turn your kitchen garbage into compost, our life experiences
provide the starting point for creating our own personal compost!
When we've learned from challenging experiences, we've transformed
those experiences into nutrient-rich material: ie, compost! When
we've not been able to process and learn, these experiences may
pile up like garbage, and never complete the cycle of renewal that
releases their nutrients.

What do we need to do to help this transformation? We need to
practice skills like awareness, acceptance, gratitude, forgiveness,
and letting go. When we are able to do this, we are able to
transform these experiences into wisdom: compost!

Many of our life experiences have to do with our success in meeting
our needs.

Needs go beyond food, water, shelter, and oxygen. Needs are unique
to each of us, and include what we require for our souls to thrive. 

When our needs are met, they transform our life experiences into a
rich compost, full of nutrients and energy to power our creative
dreams. When our needs aren't met, they lie unchanged on the
compost pile for years, keeping energy and nutrients tied up and
unavailable for our use. 

We often tell ourselves that it is okay for our needs to remain
unmet, that it doesn't really matter, but our subconscious knows we
are not content when our needs are not met. Sometimes we tell
ourselves that we shouldn't have a particular need, but changing
that need can be like trying to change the color of your hair: it
may happen naturally with time, but if you dye your hair, it will
eventually go back to what it was.

Expressing your creativity may be a need of yours. Feeling close to
people around you. Getting out in nature. Having peace and quiet.

We often blame others for our needs being unmet, and with that
blame come feelings of anger, resentment, unworthiness, guilt, fear
-- you name it. Until we know what our needs are, these feelings
lie as garbage on the compost pile, unable to be transformed. Once
we understand our needs, we can begin figuring out how to get them
met appropriately, either by ourselves or others, or dealing with
the fact that they won't be met by accepting, forgiving, and moving
on. Once met, these needs become rich compost to nourish our lives.

Needs often have two sides to them. For example, needing to feel
close to others may lead you to host potluck dinners so you can
enjoy spending time with friends and family. It may also lead you
to sacrifice your own self-care to catering to their every wish,
and to push yourself upon people when they need to be alone. See
how their need to be alone is now in direct conflict with your need
to feel close to others? What is critical here is to make sure your
need is not constantly pushing you into unhealthy behavior or
conflict with others, while at the same time getting that need met. 
Your need to feel close to others may be better satisfied by
meeting a whole group of new friends who love doing potlucks and
movies every weekend! 

Some needs, you will find you can meet yourself. If you need to get
out in nature regularly, don't fume at your couch-loving spouse --
find a hiking club on the internet! Or, if you need to feel
respected, instead of turning to others to meet that need, and
being repeatedly disappointed, work on learning to respect
yourself. You're more self-sufficient when you can meet your own
needs.

Some needs you can specifically request be filled. For example, if
you love dancing, but your partner never takes you out, a
discussion of why it is important to you followed by a request for
them to join you twice a month for a night out might be the perfect
solution. If they say no, take your sibling and have a great time.
Or, if you feel you need a hug in the mornings, let your spouse
know -- they may be trying to stay out of your harried morning
routine. 

And some needs you just have to let go of, and come to peace with
the fact that they may never be met. A lot of parental issues fall
into this category. If you want your parents to be proud of you,
your spouse being proud of you may not quite do it. A conversation
about how you'd like them to express their pride in you may fall on
confused ears. At some point, you may want to release this unmet
need and free up the energy, or nutrients, it contains. Find a way
to let go and come to peace with it. Accept that it will never be
met. Oddly enough, that is frequently the point at which your
parent may comment on how great something you did 30 years ago was!

Sometimes we get caught up in thinking that our needs must be met
in a specific way, or by a specific person. Be flexible in seeing
how your needs can be met creatively, rather than holding onto your
fantasy of how things must go. If it is not practical to relocate
your family to the mountains, take them camping a few times a year
and see how far that goes toward meeting your need for being in
nature.

We talked last time about taking time for self-care. Getting our
needs met is part of that. When our needs are not met, energy that
could be nourishing us is tied up in old issues, and we end up
feeling drained and unfulfilled. Taking the time to figure out what
our needs are, and how to get them met, is a vital part of
self-care. 

When our needs are met, it creates the rich compost that provides
the energy and enthusiasm we need to pursue our lives and our
creative projects. 

~~~~~~~~~

Creativity Spark

First, start making a list of your needs. You may have to focus
your awareness on your reaction to things over a period of time in
order to figure some of them out. Most of us have lived with our
needs unmet for so long that we may not have a conscious awareness
of what those needs are anymore. Focus on what excites you, what
saddens you, what angers you, what you are longing for, what you
feel like you don't deserve, what you feel is impossible, what you
loved as a little kid, and what brings you peace and happiness.
Chances are good that those things are somehow tied up with your
needs.

When considering your needs, ask yourself:
1. What is at the heart of this need?
2. Can I meet this need myself?
3. Is someone else willing and able to meet it?
4. If I cannot get this need met, am I willing to let go, forgive,
and move on?
5. If I am not willing to let go, forgive, and move on, how long am
I willing to have my energy tied up in this unfulfilled need?


~~~~~~~~~

About Caroline ...
Caroline coaches people who want to incorporate creativity into
their daily lives. By working on our creative projects, we are able
to transform our lives, and bring about a sense of peace and joy.
Creativity is also a wonderful way to navigate life's transitions.
For more information on individual and group coaching programs,
live and virtual retreats, and more resources to help you get going
on your creative projects with comfort and sustainability, please
visit our website at www.creativezentransitions.com

For insights on creativity and life in general, please visit the
blog at http://www.creativezentransitions.typepad.com/

Zenspiration!
Caroline's podcast of creativity meditations will get you in the
right frame of mind to begin creating. They change every week, and
provide focused inspiration related to the current newsletter topic
... usually! Click on the link to listen ...
http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WffjgkMs