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Dinner Together September 2010 Newsletter, Family Issue - Why I Don't Hide Veggies Sent Tuesday, September 21, 2010 View as plaintext

 

Dinner Together Newsletter September 2010, Family Issue

NOTE FROM KATHLEEN
 
We just finished our first full week of school here - finally! Although we're much busier than we were just a couple of weeks ago, everyone seems to be settling into their new routines nicely. No matter how busy you get, make sure you set aside some time to eat together. This month brings the official celebration of "Family Day - A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children (TM)". The official Family Day this year is Monday September 27th, but work it in whenever you can!
 
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...


5 Reasons Why I Don't Hide Vegetables in My Family's Food... and What You Can Try Instead

By Kathleen Cuneo, Ph.D.

Parents frequently ask me what I think about the cookbooks based upon the concept of sneaking vegetables into our kids' meals. I have never made any of the recipes in these cookbooks. I know when my kids were younger, there were times when I would have been tempted to try something like that because I worried more about their eating than I do now and I was not yet educated about Ellyn Satter's division of responsibility in feeding. Since those cookbooks did not exist when my oldest - and pickiest - daughter was a toddler, I did not have the opportunity to try this approach. From where I stand now, however, I'm glad I didn't. And even though now I have had opportunities to try this approach to feeding, I have consciously decided not to. Here's why:

1.    It's too much work. It takes enough time just to plan and prepare meals in addition to all my other work and family responsibilities. I really don't want to take extra time to prepare special vegetable purees to later hide in my meals. Instead, I prefer to spend time and effort into trying new ways to prepare vegetables that taste good. I'm always looking for new recipes to experiment with on my family.

2.    I want my kids to learn to accept and enjoy vegetables. If their only experience of vegetables is hidden in another dish, they are denied the opportunity of learning that they might actually like some vegetables. Instead, I offer a variety of vegetables, prepared in different ways throughout the week and apply Ellyn Satter's division of responsibility in my approach to feeding my kids. I also frequently ask my kids for their input in planning meals, including their fruit and vegetable choices.

3.    I'm not very comfortable being deceptive. I can barely pull off the Santa Claus story, and that's something I value. I don't value being sneaky when it comes to food. In the long run, I believe that I would be undermining my children's trust in me. My kids are pretty savvy and can tell when something tastes different. They would be more likely to reject something when they feel they've been tricked. Instead, I'm very upfront about what food is on the table and don't put much pressure on them to eat it - at least I try not to most of the time.

4.    I think it can backfire. I don't want to inadvertently teach my kids to dislike vegetables by sending them the message that they're not good enough to be eaten as they are and must be hidden. Instead, my kids see my husband and I enjoying vegetables.

5.    Taste matters. As I said above, I think many people can tell the difference in taste when something is added. When I eat a brownie, I want it to taste the way I expect a brownie to taste. Actually my kids frequently prefer their foods to be separate rather than mixed in casseroles or soups, and I don't interfere with them picking individual disliked ingredients out of their meals because I have some respect for their individual taste preferences.

So if you are using the sneaky approach, I encourage you just to take a moment to think about it. My intent is not to cause guilt, but rather to give you some things to think about. Most parents who hide vegetables in their children's food are usually motivated by the admirable parenting goal of having their children "eat healthy," but I'd like to suggest that you shoot for a more long-term goal of teaching them to make healthy choices on their own. Hiding vegetables limits their opportunities for learning.

ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER

A warm welcome to any newcomers to the Dinner Together newsletter.  Each month there are two newsletter issues, one focused on the kitchen, and one focused on the family.  This is a "family" issue.  In the family issues of the newsletter, I hope to provide you with information that you can use when thinking about how to feed your children.  This will include ideas about raising successful eaters as well as ideas for promoting positive experiences for everyone at the dinner table.
 
If you know someone who you think might enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to them and let them know they can sign up for their own free copy at www.dinnertogether.com.  Your questions, comments, success stories, recipes, tips, and other suggestions are always welcome.  Please feel free to contact me any time at info@dinnertogether.com.
 
For more tips and recipes follow my blog at http://www.dinnertogether.blogspot.com
 

 
 
Kathleen Cuneo, Ph.D.
Director
info@dinnertogether.com
(845) 521-6045
 
 
ABOUT KATHLEEN

Dr. Kathleen Cuneo is a psychologist, parent coach, and mother of 3. Her mission is to empower parents to find their own parenting voice and develop strong connections with their children. Through her work with Dinner Together, her goal is to provide parents with information and resources to raise successful eaters and to create enjoyable family meals.
 
 
 
 
 
I can be contacted at info@dinnertogether.com.
 
 
Call for a consultation if you're struggling with making family meals a reality in your home or if you're facing challenges with your children's eating behaviors.
(845) 521-6045
 
Visit my other website www.drcuneo.com for information on how to become a confident, empowered parent.
 
 
 
My Links
http://www.dinnertogether.com
http://www.drcuneo.com
 
 
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Conversation Starter of the Month  
There's no reason not to go with the classic conversation starters sometimes, especially during the start of a new school year. "Tell me about your day at school. What was the best part of your day? The worst? The funniest?"
 

 
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The information contained in this newsletter is meant to be educational in nature.  It is intended to inform readers of issues related to feeding dynamics in general.  It is not intended to replace specific advice from a health care professional.
Copyright (c) 2010 by Kathleen Cuneo, Ph.D., Dinner Together, LLC