Tip #26- Give up 'perfect' and give everyone a break.
Sent Tuesday, September 25, 2012View as plaintext
Tip #26 - Give up 'perfect' and give everyone a break.
Good morning, .
Last week I proofread my tip for you, sent it, and WHAM! Right there, on the first line, highlighted in a lovely shade of blue was a typo. I would have laughed if I hadn't been so annoyed at myself. The error was "everythin" (shades of Ricky Ricardo there).
Ugh! How could I have missed that, and in plain sight? I spent a few unproductive minutes lamenting how bad it made me look. Off I went, criticizing myself for not being perfect. On the upside, it gave me inspiration for my next tip!
That need for perfection is crippling, no matter to whom you apply it: you, your spouse, child, friend, or co-worker. It's one thing to strive to do better (productive). It's another thing to be dissatisfied with anything less than perfect (destructive). Self-esteem takes a big hit when perfection is your standard.
Pay attention when you find yourself bowing to the god of perfection. Acknowledge your ability to self-correct, learn and bounce back. Raise expectations without tearing yourself down. And do the same for those you love.
Do you see how being over-critical makes your child want to be with anyone BUT you? You can raise expectations and still have a loving relationship. It takes a little adjustment in how you approach it. From Eye-Rolling to 'I love you' gives you the tools and words you need to transform your relationship with your teen. Here's what you'll learn at this FREE TELECLASS:
√ The 'fixer' in you is your fear talking. You'll learn how to quiet the 'fixer voice' in your head when you're talking to your child (because when it speaks, your child runs in the other direction).
√ Just listening, with a few carefully chosen responses, will keep them talking. (You'll get the exact wording that works!)
√You're not going to be their best friend and experience everything with them. What you do want is for them to trust you, to confide in you more. You need to be the calm one, who can help them sort through what's bothering them. We'll figure out what triggers you and quiet that voice, too, so you can be the calm guide in the midst of their confusion.
How important is it to you to change this relationship and have your teen turning toward you instead of away from you?
Sign up now for From Eye-Rolling to 'I love you'. No excuses. Just do it.