 Ask the Therapist
Question: My 15 year old daughter is bulimic, and tells me the more I nag her about proper eating, the more she is triggered to eat wrong. I do know this, but what do I do when I see her start to binge- just walk away and pray?...Should I
check her into a rehab or just have patience and pray that she figures it out herself.
Signed a Very Worried Mother in Alberta. Answer: There is no quick easy answer to your question but I will attempt to provide some encouragement and direction. You are in a difficult position because of the age of your daughter. There are too many health risks involved with an eating disorder and therefore a parent cannot just standby and watch and hope they figure it out. In a full-blown eating disorder, the person can't just stop and therefore they need intervention of some sort -- whether it is inpatient care, outpatient day program or counselling and working with a dietician. You stated in your e-mail you had accessed the U of A hospital eating disorder unit and found the care and follow-up unsatisfactory. Let me affirm you for taking necessary first steps! Often with teens, it is hard to break through regarding the severity of the eating disorder as they tend to believe they are beyond consequence or don't care. Does she see the bulimia as a problem? Does she want help or want to quit? If so, those are very positive steps and will assist with her motivation. You could follow-up with your family doctor (providing he/she is aware of eating disorders and is taking it seriously; most medical doctors only have one class where they have exposure to eating disorders unless they pursue additional training, so don't assume they know everything about eating disorders!) It would be good to have her bloodwork done and checked regularly to monitor potassium and other electrolytes. Counselling and working with a dietician familiar with bulimia could provide the structure you need to help her. If she is resistant and not interested in getting help and you are seeing her continue to struggle and decline, you may need to look into other treatment options. There is an e.d. unit at the Royal Alex and one in Calgary at the Alberta Children's Hospital. The best treatment option available for adolescent girls that I recommend is Remuda Ranch. Their website information can be found in the link and their toll-free number is 1-800-445-1900. A very good book on understanding the eating disorder is "Life Without Ed" by Jenni Schaefer. It might give you some good insights and encouragement. Most parents desperately want to help but don't know what to do. Learn all that you can about the eating disorder so that you know what is helpful and what is not. Ask her what she needs from you in regard to support. If what your doing is "triggering" then ask her what would be helpful.
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Merry Christmas!
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May you have a joyful and fun-filled Merry Christmas and holiday season. A good friend just gave me a gift of "fun" napkins that has a woman on it saying, "Home for Christmas with family and in therapy by New Year's!" There is a certain amount of truth to that! Christmas is often the most stressful holiday of the year. It may be helpful for you to keep in mind a couple of helpful hints:
-- determine ahead of time what you view as important about Christmas and celebrate those things! If you are a person of faith, remember that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and the hope that brings to us; it is actually not a time of resolving all issues and losses or disappointments with family.
-- you may want to focus on peace and consolidating the gains in your life this past year. Don't dismiss the positives!
-- what makes your life more complete? Celebrate those things/people. Make some new traditions involving gratitude & blessing. Help someone less fortunate!
-- tolerate the time with "turkeys!" Limit your time with difficult people -- determine how much time (frequency and length) is do-able for you and implement appropriate boundaries where needed.
-- remember to implement moderation and balance, whether it is with regard to spending, drinking, eating or any other activity.
-- reach out and accept the company of others. Isolating only makes the holidays more lonely.
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About  | |
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Beth Murray is a Registered Psychologist in the province of Alberta and an eating disorders specialist. Roughly 80% of her clients suffer from anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder. Beth has a heart for people who are suffering and assists them in walking into healing, recovery and freedom on a regular basis - there IS fresh hope! She also works with spiritual issues, depression, anxiety, transition, abuse recovery, stress management, trauma recovery and other general areas of concern. She is a retreat speaker, presenter, counsellor, author and on occasion, stand-up comedian.
| | Got a question for the therapist? Please e-mail it to freshhope@telus.net |
Address 8944, 182 Street
Suite 210 Belmead Professional Building
Edmonton, Alberta
T5T 2E3
Phone: (780)487-3456
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