Good morning! I had an interesting conversation with a girlfriend the other day.
She was telling me about this woman who “has it all.” My friend perceives this
woman as having the perfect and caring husband; beautiful, talented and
respectful children; a well-kept and beautiful home; and the woman herself is
beautiful with a great attitude. The description concluded with an exclamation
like: “I just hate her!” (said tongue-in-cheek).
I started laughing. She asked me what was so funny. I posed this question: “If
this woman had an awful husband, ugly children, a shack, and a bad
attitude—would that make YOUR life better?”
She asked me what that had to do with anything. I proceeded to ask her why she
was spending so much time analyzing this woman’s life. What possible purpose did
it serve? She explained that if this woman could “have it all” then certainly
she could as well. “But what if this woman didn’t have it all?” I pressed on.
“Would that mean you couldn’t have it all?”
Whether this woman owned a llama farm, was an attorney, First Lady, or the first
female President of the United States has no bearing on my friend’s life. Each
moment she spent looking at this woman and comparing their lives was taking her
focus off where it needed to be—her own life. Whatever this woman’s life looks
like is completely irrelevant to all of us. It doesn’t change our own life one
iota. The only thing that can change our lives is us. As Nana’s quote states,
“Your life is what you make it,”—not what others make it.
We rarely compare ourselves to those who have less than we do to increase our
self-esteem, but women often compare themselves to those who have more, and so
undermine their own esteem. Today, embrace the concept of looking at your own
life, instead of the lives of others. Don’t be distracted with the destructive
thinking found in comparing yourself to another person—remember, you can never
truly walk in his or her shoes.
Today, I only compare myself to the “me” I was yesterday.
Who do you compare yourself to?
How do these comparisons hinder or help you?
How would it feel to let go of measuring your life against the lives of others?