The Refiner's Fire. Words that I have sung from Handel's Messiah, from the old testament prophet Micah, came to me when I was in the hospital: "For He [Spirit/God] is like the refiner's fire...And He shall purify." During this time I had a sense of the presence of two aspects of myself: Russell the biopersonality in physical incarnation, which required further purification, and russell, the aspect that is always connected with the multidimensional energy of which Russell is a small part and also with the unity of all things.
Being felled so quickly without any warning resulted in the biopersonality Russell's will being crushed to dust and swept away, leading to the mantra "I trust, I trust, I trust." The mantra "I love, I love, I love" developed in response to several days of hellish kaleidoscopic images whenever my eyes were closed. Though I described them as hallucinations on FB, there was a multidimensional feeling of reality to
the nightmarish scenarios and unhappy faces that I saw. I found that the mantra "I love, I love, I love" had the capacity to transmute the scenes that passed before my closed eyes. Faces that reflected lifetimes of pain and suffering morphed from one lifetime to another until the original experience that began the pattern of pain and suffering was
reached and healed, restoring joy and beauty to the soul. Over and over this happened.
The refiner's fire for the bio-personality Russell continued after returning home from the hospital as a result of several "setbacks." The details don't matter except to say that they functioned as crucibles of pain that burned off succeeding layers of residual dross attached to Russell's
core bio-personality, With each temporary turn for the "worse" I asked myself "What else at the core of the bio-personality requires further refinement?" It sometimes took to deep inward digging as the following patterns of behavior that no longer serve in the New Earth energies emerged to be released:
--Being judgmental/unaccepting of where other people are on their own individual spiritual journeys. The antidote is to remind myself that there are many paths to the same destination of returning to Oneness.
--Feelings of loneliness/differentness, leading a feeling of separation from others. The antidote is to remind myself that what makes Earth such a special place it that there is a unity in diversity that transcends all "differences."
--Intruding rather than being supportive of the spiritual journeys of the people I love. This can be especially challenging with those we are closest to because it is so easy to think we know what would be best for them. The antidote is to ask what would be supportive, rather than assuming that we
know.
At this point physically my body is communicating clearly to me that more time is required before I will be able to engage in the level of physical activity that I am accustomed to. At a spiritual level, as the residue that no longer serves the core biopersonality Russell has been burned away a new kind of integration is taking place with universal russell. An image that came to me during a not-so-easy period was that Russell and
russell have been intertwining and interlocking in a spiral that looks very much like the DNA spiral.
Now my sense is that it is time for Russell to come forward again. It is the physical incarnation that came to be of service and I am ready to resume.
