This is backwards and foolish.

 

If you've got a great story to tell, your secretary can write your ads (although we don't recommend that). If you don't have a story to tell that "moves the needle on the 'Who Cares' meter," you need to create one.

 

In many cases, this means tweaking your business model, changing your marketing strategy, offering something your competitors wouldn't dream of -- anything to make your prospects stand up and take notice.

 

In other words, give your ad writer something worth writing about, instead of setting them up to lose.

 

But what if your industry is so competitive that it's almost impossible to differentiate? 

 

Last week we interviewed a great retail promotional products company that had applied for a free marketing plan. They put your logo on anything from shirts and jackets to water bottles and games.

 

Their limiting factor: Their industry is so saturated and commoditized that they have almost no way to differentiate with substantial, meaningful, and/or relevant factors.

 

We isolated and analyzed every factor they could possibly compete on, which included the following:

• Price: The problem here is that everyone in their industry competes on price. They could offer a lowest price guarantee, but their margins would get so low that it wouldn't be worth continuing the business.  
• Speed: Quick turnarounds on orders are great, but again, they can't differentiate on that point because everyone else does it too.
• Quality: Every retail company in their industry orders from the same manufacturers, so they have no credible way to claim higher quality than other companies.
  
• Service: Even if they have the best service in your industry, you should never use service as a primary marketing message: 1) skeptical customers roll their eyes and think, "Yeah, sure," and 2) customers expect great service. Service should always be left as an unexpected delight factor, not an advertising message.
  
• Customization: Offering customizable options that no on else in their industry does could be their one saving grace. Two problems with this: 1) manufacturers won't support that, and 2) their margins would be far too low relative to the effort involved. 

However, their creativity still must be relevant; in other words, it must speak to actual needs felt by their potential customers.

 

In this case, the relevance is all the factors listed above, as well as what they do: "We put your logo on everything." Remember: These are all still relevant to customers; they just can't compete with them in any meaningful way. They should still highlight those factors in their ads, but in creative and humorous ways.

 

The science behind this strategy is based on brain lateralization. The left hemisphere of the brain is logical, analytical, sequential, deductive. The left brain separates fact from fiction. It holds all language functions.

 

The right hemisphere deals in symbolism, pattern recognition, and intuition. It is a fantastical dream world where anything is possible. The right brain doesn't know fact from fiction -- and it doesn't care.

 

When you have no ammunition to penetrate the left brain's analytic armor, you have to sneak in the back door of the right brain.

 

Here are a few excellent examples:

• Old Spice "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" Campaign. In the highly-competitive, heavily-commoditized deodorant market, it's impossible to differentiate on fact. So they went with a marvelous creative campaign. The relevance: Focusing on desires of women, who buy deodorant for their men.
• Orange Telecom "Unique Subscription" Campaign. Watch these videos and you'll find no logical reason to use Orange. But they're funny, catchy, and memorable. And the relevance is personalized service.
• Breaking Up Using Sprint. Notice you'll find nothing in this video that speaks of competitive advantages. Just a comical way to highlight their new cell phone plan. (This one is funny, too.)
  
• Diet Dew & Eagles. This one is slightly different than the other examples, since Mountain Dew has the factor of unique taste to compete with. Still, soft drinks is an extremely competitive category.
  
• Carlton Draught Slo Mo. No facts or logic -- just fun relevance to beer-drinking men.