http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptistThe Landover Baptist Monthly NewsletterMon, 12 Dec 2011 12:59:18 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/K3Kvs/h/LUCIFER_S_TOY_CHEST_2011_.htm Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:59:18 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/4zN.M/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_.htm LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH(TM) October 2011 Newsletter (Click links to read articles. Share and comment with new Facebook integration)! Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:16:07 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/UufN/h/LUCIFER_S_TOY_CHEST_IS.htm Sun, 05 Dec 2010 16:04:45 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/UjtB/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_.htm Halloween Reclamation 2010! | TOP NEWS FROM GOD'S PEWS | October 25, 2010 YouTube Video: Pastor Deacon Fred Goes Wicca Hunting! Pastor, Deacon Fred is back, and boy is he ever pissed off! Watch him perform a Witch hunting survey at Bubba's Farm! Aborted Human Fetuses Needed to Make Local Halloween Hell House More Fun Than Ever! Read how you can help this important ministry! It Gets Worse: An Open Letter to Teenage Homosexuals! Prophetess Debbie says that God told her there are only two things homosexual boys need to know! Read her open letter to gay boys! Is Your Mommy a Witch? Children's Halloween Art Contest Winners! The finest Baptist children's works of art in crayon from this year's contest are displayed here for your viewing pleasure! THE DEVIL'S BIRTHDAY (HALLOWEEN) DOTH DRAWETH NIGH! Find something special for you and your loved ones to help protect you from witches, demons and ignorant unsaved children in our massive repositories of Halloween related articles below. Professional Demon Trapper, Pastor Mitch Walker Shares His Favorite Halloween Reclamation Links! Everything You Wanted to Know About WICCA (Witchcraft) But Were Afraid to Ask Because You'd Sound So Stupid! Take a Historical Tour of Landover Baptist Church's Halloween Hell Houses! GET MORE UPDATES AND JOIN US ON THE WEB! Follow Pastor Deacon Fred on Twitter! or on his Facebook Fan Page. You can also join the official Landover Baptist Church Facebook page or visit the Landover Baptist Church's .NET forums. If you are moved by the Spirit, join Sister Betty Bowers' Facebook Fan Page and friend Landover Baptist's Bible Answer Man, Brother Harry Hardwick as he shares daily scripture verses still legal in most states. The Landover Baptist Church Reader Mailbag will be updated on November 1st. While you are waiting, peruse public feedback on Pastor's YouTube channel . Until November - when our Godly attention shifts from Wiccans to Injuns, stay abreast of the latest updates by bookmarking Landover Baptist's What's New page. OPEN YOUR WALLETS and PURSES and GIVE UNTO THE LORD BY COMMITTING TO SHOP AT THE LANDOVER BAPTIST STORE FOR THE HOLIDAYS! NICE HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR THE NAUGHTY! HALLOWEEN GOODIES Biblical Wisdom Gear! Copyright 2010, Landover Baptist Church(TM). All rights reserved. Terms of Service The Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18 Sun, 24 Oct 2010 16:14:27 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/1y1p8/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_CHURCH.htm Landover Baptist Church Newsletter: September 2010 Mobile Friendly for Jesus(TM) Edition The Great Schism of 2010 Comes to a Close: How An Unsaved Boy Snuck Into a Baptist Church to Set in Motion One of the Largest Schisms in Recorded Christian History. Click Here to Read the Full Timeline of Events (Includes links to each pertinent National press release) August 8, 2010: Sin Posse Seizes Fugitive Pastor Deacon Fred After Bloody Shootout in Manitoba! August 29, 2010: Pastors Reunite and Reconcile at Glen Beck's Restoring Honor Rally! September 5, 2010: Child Allegedly Emasculated Is Not a Eunuch After All! New Articles, Seasonal Fare and More: Reader Mail Updates! Mail received during August and July 2010 loaded for your reading pleasure! Back to School Witnessing Tips for Baptist Students What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says No to Sports! The Master's Degree in Motherhood From Landover Baptist University Christian Kids Wanna Know: Why Does My Dog Bark at Obama? True Christian(TM) Non-Profit Advertisement The Landover Baptist Board of Deacons would like to thank The Sin Posse for their tireless effort and support on behalf of our anointed True Christian(TM) community this year. Proceeds from all purchases made until November 30, 2010 through the Landover Baptist Online Shopping Mall will be used to fund a state-of-the-art Baptist Rifle Range on Hezekiah Ridge in North Freehold, Iowa County. Sin Posse T-Shirts, Mugs, Hats, Bumper Stickers, Buttons and Magnets are also now available in the Landover Baptist Online Shopping Mall Copyright 2010-ROJC, Landover Baptist Church(TM) Sun, 19 Sep 2010 13:14:31 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/1EH8C/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_CHURCH_.htm LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH(TM) JUNE 2010 NEWSETTER Links to the Latest News From Our Godly Pews! MOBILE FRIENDLY Special Public Notice: A rousing sermon, two little known Bible verses, a stray unsaved child, and an unspoken imprecatory prayer request prove to be a lethal combination in creating one of the most dramatic church schisms in Landover Baptist History. (Read more about The 2010 Landover Baptist Church Schism below). LEAD STORY I'm in Charge of Landover Baptist Church Now! TOP STORIES WORLD CUP: IS Soccer a Sin? You BET IT IS!! Is The Tea Party a Front For America's Largest Republican Swinger's Club? THE SCHISM AT LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH - TIME-LINE (LINKS): 5/17/10 Unsaved Child Lights His Tallywhacker on Fire After Hearing Pastor Deacon Fred's Sermon! YouTube - 5/30/10 Former Pastor, Deacon Fred's Message From Fort Madison County Jail 6/7/10 Pastor's Personal Secretary, Edna Denkins Disappears 6/9/10 PRESS RELEASE: Balance of Power Shifts at Landover Baptist Church! 6/15/10 Pastor Deacon Fred Regains Control of His Facebook Page and is Allowed to Post from Jail Library 10 Minutes Each Day 6/18/10 Landover Baptist Church's Official Facebook Page Udpated - Just click Like to Read More LEAD STORY Gala Held at Landover Towers to Honor New Landover Baptist CEO for the Lord, Rev. Pastor Harry Hardwick MORE Hardwick Christian Family Restaurants Presents: THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB CHOP HOUSE! Summer Fun and Tea Party Swing Gear - All New in the Landover Baptist Online Store! Rev. Pastor Brother Harry Hardwick on Facbook America's Best Christian, Mrs. Betty Bowers Bookmark the What's New Page at Landoverbaptist.org for the latest News from Our Pews! ----------------------------- Our E-Mails Are PROUDLY Formatted Using AUTHENTIC Baptist HTML Coding If You are an Unsaved Subscriber, and wish to view this Newsletter as formatted by a Jewish coder - click hereSat, 19 Jun 2010 14:11:21 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/TA95/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_LATE.htm LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH(TM) LATE APRIL 2010 NEWSETTER Links to the Latest News From Our Godly Pews MOBILE FRIENDLY Our E-Mails Are PROUDLY Formatted Using AUTHENTIC Baptist HTML Coding If You are an Unsaved Subscriber, and wish to view this Newsletter as formatted by a Jewish coder - click here LEAD STORY YOUTUBE VIDEO | ARTICLE Disgusted Catholics Are Flooding the Pews Baptist Churches! TOP STORIES CHRISTIAN KIDS WANT TO KNOW: Will There Be Colored Folks in Heaven? A Graphic Brochure of Our FACILITY for the Treatment of Pre-Sodomites in North Dakota! Creation Scientist Granted Permission To Study Source of Rise in Male Masturbation! MOTHER'S DAY: Jesus Commands Us to Hate Our Mothers (Free PDF Mother's Day Card) MORE OF YOUR GODLY FAVORITES Reader Mail Updates! 2010 - February, March, April - Read Them All! Join Pastor Deacon Fred on Facebook for Daily Commentary My Catholic Priest Molested Your Honor Roll Student! Current Events Gear in Our Gift Shop! Sun, 25 Apr 2010 17:40:27 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/118N5/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_CHURCH_.htm LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH(TM) MARCH 2010 NEWSETTER Links to the Latest News From Our Godly Pews Lead Story Church Declares March National Miscarriage Mourning Month! Top Stories · Proceeds of We Are Not of This World to Aid Baptist Missionaries in Haiti! · Landover Baptist Mission Group Detained in Haiti! Seasonal Fare · The Terrifying Truth About St. Patrick! · Christian Girls' Guide to Spring Break Abstinence! · Leprechauns Don't Give You Eternal Life (Free St. Patrick's Card - PDF) Favorites · Reader Mail Updates! · Join Pastor Deacon Fred on Facebook for Daily Commentary · Labeled by the Lord? We Can Help With That! New in the Landover Store MORE: · See a Graphic Version of The March 2010 Newsletter Online by Clicking Here Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:37:12 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/W.2T/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_JANUARY.htm Click the graphic above to view the latest news from the pews of Landover Baptist Church(TM)!Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:03:20 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/landoverbaptist/24iKE/h/LANDOVER_BAPTIST_HAPPY.htm JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON! And He's Also the Reason You Are Going Straight to Hell! Landover Baptist Church Holiday News: Greetings and Salutations in the name of America's most marketable deity! The Landover Baptist Church is here to meet all of your holiday shopping needs, please visit our gift shop to find last minute items for unsaved trash on your list. In Landover Baptist news this month: Brother Harry Hardwick's sermon on Tiger Woods is now available online. We also wish a Happy Hanukkah to those who killed our Savior. In addition, church members can read the details our new Spiritual SPAM campaign: Jesus is Going to Kill My Son if You Don't Help Me! All of this, and much more at your preferred place of worship, America's Favorite Church: Landover Baptist. Read More Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:38:13 -0500