| IN THIS ISSUE | | WELCOME | The Good Things About August
| Book Review
| A Little Inspiration
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RECENT BLOGS
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Sink or Sail with Me
Part II | |
Sink or Sail with Me
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Live in the Layers, Not on the Litter
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End of summer greetings to all!
I hope you've had some relaxed fun and a change of scenery if only for a long weekend. Since I get to spend the whole summer in a place that most people visit only for a week or two, I get to watch lots of grown-ups letting their hair down.
My favorites are:
a full-grown man careening down the long steep hill to the sail center on a bicycle grinning like a 9 yr old;
grandmothers building sandcastles on the beach with giggly little ones;
a group of elderly men lawn bowling;
and everyone riding their bicycles gleefully through the rain puddles!
Of course, you don't have to go on vacation to have some fun - the idea is to work some into every day wherever you are.
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Please forward this copy of the newsletter to friends and family who might enjoy it, and feel free to email me with any questions or comments.
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The Good Things About August
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Although I've never thought of it as one of my favorites - it just sort of happens somewhere between summer and fall and in most places I've lived the weather is pretty darn miserable. But I've recently discovered that it actually should be at the top of my list.
You see, many anonymous groups of people take it upon themselves to designate weeks and days of the year to recognize a variety of causes, celebrate weird products, call attention to interesting towns or food items, etc.
But when I checked the listing for August, I found that each week this month is dedicated to something I passionately believe in and try hard to do.
Week 1 is National Simplify your Life Week
Week 2 is National Smile Week
Week 3 is Friendship Week
Week 4 is Be Kind to Humankind Week
So, instead of giving some advice or suggestions this month, I am hereby giving each of you a homework assignment.
Week 1 - Simplify one small part of your life. Clean out one kitchen drawer; sort through a bookshelf and donate a bunch to your local library; clean out the hall closet and donate coats, hats and gloves to a homeless shelter; de-clutter your office and throw away unnecessary pieces of paper; declare one day for errands and do them all at one time. The effect of clearing out "stuff" is amazing - it opens up room for new possibilities.
Week 2 - Smile at whomever you share a house with first thing (spouses, roommates, parents, kids, pets - doesn't matter); smile at everyone you meet through the day; stop and smile as soon as you realize you are frowning. You can choose to be happy this week despite everything.
Week 3 - Get in touch with a long-time friend; check in on a friend in need; go out of your way to meet someone and make a new friend; invite a group of friends over to celebrate your friendships; connect two of your friends who don't know each other. Research is proving that we live longer when we are encircled with friends.
Week 4 - be kind to an elderly neighbor; volunteer at a soup kitchen; sign up to mentor a young person; knit a shawl for a cancer patient; read to children in an after-school program; loan a small amount of money to an indigenous woman through KIVA.org. We can improve this world one step at a time.
Let's make August a great month of Good Living, Good Attitudes, Good Fun and Good Deeds. (Email me your Good Stories and I'll mention some on my blog)
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| As Time Goes By - Book Review |
Abigail Trafford has just published the third book in a trilogy about longevity and the process of growing into life after 50. The first, which I have quoted often elsewhere, was My Time. It discussed the transition from parenting and career into the new age of retirement. The second one is entitled Crazy Time and deals with surviving middle-aged divorce and its issues.
The third one is called As Time Goes By and covers the changing landscape of relationships after 50.
I had the opportunity to hear her speak about this last week. She starts by defining a variety of relationships that are happening such as Boomerangs (re-marrying an ex), Throwbacks (marrying an old flame), and romantic adventures that don't include marriage.
She emphasizes that we are pioneering a new lifestyle for the decades from 50 to 100 and there are no rules or guidelines.
It is possible for long-time spouses to take time off from each other to follow a dream or opportunity;
it is possible for two adults to truly love and support each other but live in separate homes;
it is possible for singles to share housing with other singles of the opposite sex without a romantic relationship;
and, despite their childrens' disbelief, it is possible for a couple in advanced years to maintain a physical relationship.
In addition, the facts are that most of us will end up single at some point, and learning how to find new partners is a challenge we are not prepared for.
Unlike her previous two books, I find that this one lacks specific advice on how to navigate the retirement transition with a spouse.
In my practice I hear a lot about disagreement on future plans and find that many couples need to learn how to communicate again in order to figure out what their relationship will look like. Just as we are seeing marriages that endure for 60 and 70 years, we are also seeing long-time relationships flounder and fall apart.
These are not easy issues for most of us but the old standbys of good honest communication, mutual respect and tolerance for differences are critical ingredients for success.
Some readers may find As Time Goes By inspiring but it will leave others askng, "so what do we do now?" We'll keep discussing these topics here.
You can probably find her earlier two books at the library or you can order any of them from the Book tab on my website.
www.lifeandworkbydesign.com
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As a young woman, I was entranced by the poetry/prose of Hugh Prather and still have my original copy of Notes to Myself. These two quotes are from a later book, Notes to Each Other written with his wife Gayle.
"Nothing more is needed than to choose a way for your mind to be happy now. When happiness is your decision, you have begun the path that will lead you out of any pain."
"I am not my past. I am free. For I am this instant how I choose to be."
My e-mail box is always open if you'd just like to chat..
lifeworkdesigner at me dot com
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