| IN THIS ISSUE | | WELCOME | Attitude Adjustment
| 50 is Fifty
| A Little Inspiration
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Welcome to everyone, especially all the new subscribers this month!
As I sit down to write I'm entranced with the snow fall of cherry blossom petals outside my office windows. Welcome to the growing and blooming part of 2009 and the new Living My Way newsletter. This month's theme is Attitudes and I think Spring is about the best attitude changer there is. You can't help but feel better this time of year.
Please forward this copy of the newsletter to friends and family who might enjoy it, and feel free to email me with any questions or comments.
Planning Your Trip Through Transition Teleclass
So What's Next? Whether you are retiring, experiencing an empty nest, changing careers, or moving to a new locale, the effects of transition can range from terrifying to exhilarating. Not knowing what's next can be paralyzing to a lot of people. Others try to pretend that nothing's going to be different.
To weather transitions successfully, you need to:
Recognize and understand all the changes that happen
Know how to find information to help you make smart choices
Have a strategy for actually getting from point A to point B and beyond.
We'll discuss the effects of change, resources to help you reach your goal, and the processes that help propel you forward to a successful new life after 50.
Successfully navigating the second half of life requires a plan. Start making yours!
Time somehow slips by - don't wait. Reserve your spot in the teleclass today!
Wednesday, May 27th 8:00 -9:00PM EDT $25.00
Questions about teleclasses? Follow this link for more information - they're fun!
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An Attitude Adjustment from a Stranger
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I was 26 years old, married and the mother of a 3 yr old. My husband had been transferred to Birmingham, AL and we were temporarily living in a hotel until our moving van arrived.
Toward the end of the first week we found a New York style deli restaurant where we could eat some familiar food. (As a couple of Yankees, this move was a real culture shock.) As we sat waiting for our meal, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the clatter around me, the hugeness of the move, the isolation from my friends and family up north, and the challenges of my life right then.
I jumped up with no explanation and ran outside. Across the narrow street was a small park surrounded by a three-foot high stone wall where I sat down and began to sob quietly.
As I sat there feeling scared and sorry for myself, an older gentleman came around the corner gently jogging. He must have noted my posture and tears because he slowed down.
About 3 paces away from me he said in a lovely, soft southern drawl, "Isn't it a beautiful fall evening? This weather is perfect. Just look up at that beautiful sky." Then he smiled, lightly touched me on the shoulder, and moved on.
The effect of this human connection was remarkable. His kind smile and touch, and the command to "look up" brought me out of myself and back into the world around me. I realized that indeed, this was a lovely pleasant evening (it was snowing back in NJ) and that this place, despite all its strangeness to me, was just another city with all sorts of people and opportunities and I would find my place in it.
Instead of seeing the excitement of this adventure to a new part of the country, I had focused on my problems - dealing with all the unknowns; my husband's anxiety about his new job; trying to keep a toddler on an even keel under less than perfect conditions.
A stranger's caring words and personal touch immediately changed my attitude from negative and fearful to positive and curious. Will Garcia said, "The first step toward change is acceptance...Change is not something you do, it's something you allow. " I learned a lesson that evening that sustained me through 11 more moves.
Times of transition are full of change - loss of identity, lack of stability and structure, a whole lot of unpredictability. The attitude we bring to our life changes can determine how well we move into our new roles in the second half of our lives.
One of my favorite sayings is, "What you focus on will grow, but what you ignore withers." We get a lot farther in life by focusing on the positive, the adventure and the excitement of new learning.
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50 is Fifty by Suzanne Braun Levine
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First an apology to my male readers for reviewing a book that is written for women over 50. I tried to search on Amazon for a similar book written by and for men that I could recommend but came up pretty empty-handed. Gail Sheehy has written one - Understanding Men's Passages - but the reviewers indicate that her female perspective throws it off. You might want to check it out of the library to see for yourself. None of the other titles seem to address the emotional and spiritual issues of men in their second half of life. Somebody out there needs to write one!
The subtitle of Levine's book is 10 Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood. Lessons like figuring out what matters; making life-long marriages work; allowing crisis to create new standards of "normal" in your life; and taking care of ourselves like we've always taken care of others. There are some messages here for men as well.
She offers anecdotal stories of women from all walks of life that we can each relate to along with her own experiences as a sixty-five year old woman. It is a more personal exploration than her earlier book and expands on many of the same topics.
Here's a quote from Lesson Five: "Improvising is the name of the game.........We can deal with loss because we are becoming familiar with the mixed blessing - melancholy, perhaps, but also liberating - of letting go.
- We let go of our children; we find ourselves.
- We let go of some body standards; we become more comfortable in our own skin.
- Some of us let go of driving ambition, while others let go of the tentativeness that held us back from setting our ambition loose.
- We let go of outdated pipe dreams and we let go of material things." (p 88-89)
We are all experiencing a change in our outlook and attitudes. The refreshing part is to realize that we are not the only ones feeling as we do. And even more refreshing is her suggestion that we can stretch and grow beyond any and all previous limits - most of which have been self-imposed.
As you consider career changes, lifestyle decisions and new goals, realize that you can live in the present (putting the past to rest) and that this is a new stage of life that can be creative and rewarding in many ways.
Most importantly, we don't need to try to be something we are not. I don't know about you, but I'm finding that quite nice.
50 is Fifty and I would add that 60 is Sixty :)
Being who you are is the goal. Defining who you are is the task.
Levine provides 10 great starting points for your journey.
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The BOOKS TAB on my web-site will take you to my bookstore on Amazon.com. You will find this title under the Inspiration category.
You can purchase directly from that page for the same price and no-shipping policy of the main Amazon site - but I get a small commission -so you can help me while you help yourself. I appreciate the support!
But hey, if you are being frugal, I salute you. Please go check your local library for this and other similar titles. They'll be glad to help you.
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Now is the time to change your attitude
Each day may not be a good one but there's something good in every day.
The difference is usually our attitude.
Look for the positive.
You'll find then the positives will shine through.
They will act as signposts to navigate through the dark times.
(excerpted from Now is the Time by Patrick Lindsay NY MJF Books 2009)
"....everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Victor Frankl
My e-mail box is always open if you just need to chat..
lifeworkdesigner at me dot com
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