No, I haven't dropped off the edge of the beach.... I know this long silence is very uncharacteristic.....keeping my mouth shut is not one of my virtues!   This experiment in living at the sea shore is interesting and educational, feels healthy and good, and has taken me by surprise in some ways.    

I'm having trouble finding the words to describe how I'm feeling but just this week I've read two things that say it well.   

First I picked up my well-worn copy of Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh and laughed out loud as I read her introduction. 

The Beach is not the place to work; to read, write or think. I should have remembered that from other years.  Too warm, too damp, too soft for any real mental discipline or sharp flights of spirit.  One never learns. Hopefully, one carries down the faded straw bag, lumpy with books, clean paper, long over-due unanswered letters, freshly sharpened pencils, lists, and good intentions.  The books remain unread, the pencils break their points, and the pads rest smooth and unblemished as the cloudless sky. No reading, no writing, no thoughts even - at least, not at first.  ............Patience, patience, patience is what the sea teaches.  Patience and faith.  One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea.  

When I arrived mid-March it was still chilly.  Jeans, layers of tees and sweaters, and socks and sneakers were required almost all day.  The beach and the town were deserted and I welcomed the quiet after the hectic schedule I had endured for the previous six weeks. 

I exhaled deeply and settled in.  My daughter and family are here for a few days most weeks and being able to relax and enjoy having my granddaughter run the show is a gift.  At 15 months she sees everything with that wonderful child's curiosity and enthusiasm.  It takes an hour to walk two blocks down the street as her tiny fingers touch the stones, the sand, the blades of sea grass and the first little yellow flowers of spring.     Patience......she's teaching it to the grownups.  

Now it's warming up and I'm able to truly enjoy being outdoors.   Early morning walks on the beach, day trips to explore places like Harker's Island and Hammock Beach, New Bern, Beaufort and Cape Hatteras and peaceful evenings reading on the deck keep me fairly occupied.  The small UU Fellowship nearby provides some interesting new friends and forces me to be social at least on the weekends. 

I also joined a local group of women that I found on Meetup.com who walk on the beach, meet for coffee in the small towns nearby and go to movies or live music events.    

What I haven't done is much writing.   Every time I sit down to work either on my book or the blog, I find myself drifting away quickly.  I have thought about it a lot; continue to do research on bad weather days; and have solicited stories from a group of women with wisdom to share but that's it.  

This isn't a case of writer's block.  I said I needed to come down here to get away from the distractions and interruptions that came with my life back in Philadelphia in order to write but I think I lied.    I just wanted to do this. I wanted to be able to walk on the beach every day and I needed to be alone to figure out some things. 

It's sort of comical. Here I am - a Retirement Coach - but the truth is that, just like all of my students and clients, I don't know what I want to be in this third stage of life.  Mostly I don't know where I want to live! 

Some family members keep saying that I need to settle down somewhere and I know they are right. (Five years is my average time in one place.) Most folks are perfectly happy with their lives as they are.  They like where they live, they have roots and community that they've built over the years.   But the story of my life didn't allow that to happen and I'm always looking for a new place to explore.  

So I'm spending some time doing the same exercises that I give to my students in the workshop and thinking in the silence of the shore and learning Patience....

The second thing I read this week that applies is from a blog entry written by Callie Oettinger on Steven Pressfield's blog.  

"Action takes long naps, asks tons of questions, and wants to move on its own terms."

Sometimes we act because we think we should, or because we think it's what's expected of us. I tend to be impulsive and jump quickly once I see a new direction.  I'm learning that it takes time and patience... and maybe a lot of quiet to settle on a plan for this stage of our lives.

So, to my students and newsletter subscribers, the message is that even the teacher has to review once in a while and I don't have all the answers.  I'll share new insights and great ideas as I find them. Feel free to write and share your thoughts with me!  

For my friends and family who keep asking why and what and how and when, you'll know once I've made decisions.   Have patience...and faith.  

Meanwhile, I've found that when you stay at the beach long enough you learn to just BE here and that's pretty sweet.