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               LIVING MY WAY NEWSLETTER April 2009
 
Welcome to everyone, especially all the new subscribers this month!  

There have been a lot of changes around here in the last few weeks.
I hope you like the fresh new look of the logo, website and blog
pages.  Please visit the website to see what's new, check the
schedule for workshops and then sign up for the RSS fee on the blog
page so you will get an e-mail each time I write a new post.
     
At the last minute I also decided to change the name of this
newsletter.  For the last 4 years it has been known as WORKIN' MY
WAY.  Since I was writing and teaching people about the many career
options that exist outside of typical  9 - 5 jobs I liked that
title.
   
But I've been frustrated by the limits that imposed and want to
talk about the other issues we face as we try to live happily in
today's world.  Too many people allow their work to manage their
lives.  I want to discuss the decisions we can make so that we are
in control of our destiny.
   
So LIVING MY WAY will reflect a wider variety of articles, books
and resources on all the facets of our lives.  I hope you will find
it even more helpful and inspiring.
 
Please feel free to forward your copy to friends and family who
might also enjoy it, and encourage them to sign up for their own
copy. 
  
The trees here are finally bursting into green, pink and white - a
new season is upon us and if you are like me, you are feeling
energized and ready to think about some new ideas.
      
                         Happy Spring!

   ********************Navigating Goat Paths********************

Five friends and I went to the island of St. John in the Caribbean
about a month ago to visit another friend who lives there on his
sailboat.  (It can be done!)  I haven't wanted to take the time or
spend the money to travel just for fun like that in several years. 
But when the opportunity presented itself, I remembered my Vroom
Vroom theme for this year and said YES.   (see blog post in January)

What an experience!  Warm sun, blue/green seas, lush foliage and
colorful flowers, great food, sailing and snorkeling all in the
company of wonderful friends made it a complete success.
     
But like all good experiences, I was challenged to take a risk and
test myself.  St. John is a volcanic island that is mostly a
National Park and therefore very undeveloped. With few exceptions,
there are no posh resorts beyond Cruz Bay.   We rented a house up
in the hills near Coral Bay and that meant we needed to rent a car
to get around the island.  The first indications of the challenge
of driving was that the cars were on the left side of the road, and
99% of them were 4-wheel drive off-road Jeeps! 
     
The roads are unlike any I've ever been on before.  They are an
endless maze of steep climbs up, terrifying hairpin curves and then
hair-raising descents with barely room for two vehicles to pass.  
Those are the paved roads and there are only two that circle around
the island. 
  
In order to reach most of the homes, you eventually have to leave
the pavement to travel on dirt goat paths.   These are only one car
wide in most places, and would be considered impassible by most
American drivers.   They also climb dizzying hills and snake around
blind curves.  But in addition, they are littered with rocks, have
deep ruts in many places, and washed out gullies in others.
   
Mastering the art of driving that vehicle full of nervous
passengers constantly reminding me to "stay left" while native
drivers suddenly appeared out of nowhere was a real challenge.  But
I actually enjoyed it.   It's been a while since I had to test my
nerves and reflexes in a physically fearful situation and it was
exhilarating!
  
So here comes the metaphor - you knew I had one...  Navigating those
goat paths was not unlike navigating the way into our future.  We
sometimes need the equivalent of a 4- wheel drive Jeep to move
ourselves out of the ruts and gullies we find ourselves in. And
family, friends and colleagues can leave lots of rocks lying in the
road to shake us up.
   
We have to proceed slowly and let one wheel grab hold at a time so
that it can pull the others forward.  We have to stay focused on
the side of the road we have decided to follow.  We have to learn
to steer through the twists and turns with determination to stay on
the right path to reach our destination.
   
It's not easy to change your career course or re-design your life
but you can do it.  Try to remember a time when you faced some sort
of challenge and how you rose to the occasion.   Remember the
feeling of success you experienced?    You can do it again.  

      "Courage is very important.  Like a muscle, it is
           strengthened by use."  Ruth Gordon 
  

***********Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott ************


A member of my master mind group recommended this title a
few weeks ago so I went to the book store to check it out.  I sat
down and started scanning the chapter titles and reading little
snippets here and there.  As soon as I read the following, I took
it straight to the check-out counter.
  
"Over the last several years I have developed a meaningful
relationship with the word no.  I highly recommend it.  If we do
not learn to say no, there will be no space in our lives when a
powerful yes appears." 
 
Through the explanation of her Seven Principles of Fierce
Conversations, Scott explains how our habitual ways of
communicating both in our work world and in our personal world can
harm our relationships and leave us stuck in the wrong place doing
the wrong thing with the wrong people.
  
If you are a parent you know the frustration of asking your 10 year
old a question and getting a one word answer back.   "How was
school?"   OK   "What did you do?"  Nothin'  Too many times our
conversations with employers, colleagues and spouses are just like
that. 
  
Scott discusses how to start an important conversation, how to be
true to yourself with your answers and how to be really present and
listen well to the other person.  Her examples and anecdotes are
taken from both business and personal experiences and every reader
will find themselves and their situation somewhere in this book.
  
The other really important statement is, "not every conversation
changes someone's life but sometimes one conversation can be
life-changing."     


The BOOKS TAB on my web-site will take you to my bookstore on
Amazon.com. You can find this title under the Careers Information
and Mature Audiences categories. 

You can purchase directly from that page for the same price and
no-shipping policy of the main Amazon site - but I get a small
commission -so you can help me while you help yourself. I
appreciate the support!  
 
But, if you are being frugal, please go check your local library
for these and other similar titles.  They'll be glad to help you.
 

************************A Little Inspiration**********************

I've been working hard at practicing mindfulness - that is, being
present only in the moment.  The past is done with and the future
is unpredictable.  Centering on today allows me to appreciate the
arrival of signs of Spring while walking in the park.   Focusing on
the task at hand allows me to do it well.  Really being with
another person means we truly share the moment. 
  
Jon Kabet-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh are excellent sources for more
information on the practice of mindfulness and meditation.  Check
them out at the bookstore or library.
   
"Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know
that we have for sure is what is right here right now.  Don't miss
it. "   Leo Buscaglia  

    

        My e-mail box is always open if you just need to chat..
                        lifeworkdesigner at me dot com