A mother with a pack of little kids told me her latest trick. She puts a pencil between her teeth at the most vulnerable time of day.... trying to get out the door.

She heard it on a TED talk about changing your body stance to reflect where you want to be. The speaker, who is a professor in an MBA program, says that taking a pose like spreading your arms can help you feel more powerful. She also mentioned that the presence of an object in your mouth forces you to smile, making it hard to get angry. Not only that it keeps said little kids curious enough to get their boots on. 

Another mom told me she was starting to lose it with her daughter while she was brushing another daughter's hair. She poured her focus into the soft brown locks, and it kept the anger at a distance. 

There was a time in Odhner history when I knew I had to be at the local library at four o'clock. Every day. The librarian probably thought I was an over achieving mother of preschoolers, exposing them to books often and eagerly. But it was a survival tactic. If we were home in the late afternoon, bedlam would erupt. If we were in a public place, we held it together. Then by five I could trundle them home in my bike cart and drop the kids in a pile of Legos while I rustled up supper. 

I applaud such proactive measures. We are generally smart enough to put on coats when it is twenty degrees outside. There are ways to protect us from unfriendly interactions as well. 

One time John and I were just beginning to clash about something that is no longer of any consequence, and he tossed me an appreciation. It was like a pencil between my teeth. I had to smile. Another time we were arguing when he noticed our son, who was supposed to be vacuuming the floor, was sucking up Cheerios one by one. And laughing. Our angst flew out the window. 

I love that the content of the disagreements have long ago expired, but the peacemaking attempts are still fresh in my memory.