Marriage Moats-Focus and Breadth

Published: Wed, 11/07/12


Marriage Moats Caring for Marriage

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Last night I heard a husband express how his wife has enriched his experience. 
 
"She gives me focus, and breadth."
 
As soon as the words hit the air my mind followed them around, like a bird. Focus, and breadth. Breadth and focus.The paired words opened and closed like wings. One alone would not have been enough to fly. But their synchronization afforded them loft.
 
Somehow the two do not cancel each other out. Before marriage a man is attracted to many women. It is not so much of a deliberate choice as hard wiring. But after he commits to his wife she comes into focus, leaving the throngs in his peripheral vision.
 
Breadth is suggestive of widened awareness. Marriage expands who we are related to, our potential for children, our guest lists. 
 
"Who did you invite? Aunt Shar?"
 
"She is my mother's cousin, not really my aunt. You'll love her. She's coming."
 
When I visualize the linchpin between focus and breadth various images spring to mind. An arm attached to a shoulder is focused in one spot. But the breadth of motion is luxuriously wide.  A sailor straddling the deck of his ship has stopped asking which ship to board. His feet are planted. Yet from the crow's nest he can scan the horizon for miles.  
 
Focus and breadth. Grounded and free. 
 
 
 
 
 
Photo by Joy Feerrar
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