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PHA Newsletter: Questioning Deeply
Sent Monday, August 15, 2011
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By: Marta Luzim, M.S.
mluzim@martaluzim.com
www.martaluzim.com
Primal Living
Primal Living - A Lighthouse of wisdom that shines through the dark.
Light the flame in your heart...ignite the
fire in your soul.
In this newsletter:
1. Questioning Deeply
2. Questions: Your "Wants"
3. Poem: How Dare I Love Myself
4. Recommended Resources
Questioning Deeply
Is there such a thing as spiritual perfection? Do we really deserve to have everything all the time?
When I was twelve I wanted to be an actress. I loved the glamour, the fantasy and the possibility of being someone other than me. I wanted to be Marilyn Monroe, Barbra Streisand, Bette Davis, Ginger Rogers, Veronica Lake, Natalie Wood, Elizabeth Taylor. These women made my child's world bigger than life. They were perfect, mystical, romantic and beyond my reach. Hollywood creates an illusion of immortal beauty and love. A spiritual perfection that is humanly flawed. I strived for that perfection until I grew up and realized that perfection does not exist as a human trait or even a goal.
A spiritual path means something different to everyone. However, what is common for most in life is what the Declaration of Independence promised us: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
In understanding how to live the legacy of our forefathers is to unveil self-knowledge, "To thine own self be true." To know yourself is not a selfish act. The more you know who you are, the better you can serve family, friends and community. Self-awareness teaches who we are, what our purpose is, and how we can help others.
We are not perfect creations, but we can seek to understand wisdom, gratitude, love, strength, compassion, intimacy, creativity and other spiritual qualities that give us a sense of well-being. Everything is rhythmic balance interchange. Sometimes we need to sacrifice, sometimes we need to indulge, and sometimes we just need to be still. It is a dance, a flow, to know what is true. It takes time, silence and inquiry to answer the important questions in life.
Only you know what choices are right for you.
Questions
Let's take a journey into yourself.
List your 'wants'.
Who is probably most responsible for this want?
How much happiness and unhappiness have I gotten from this want?
Does the Real Me that existed at birth want this?
When did I first develop this want?
Who in my life would want me to have this want?
What is the result of having this want?
Do I really want this, or is it a "should" from somewhere?
Do I want to be the kind of person who wants this?
Picture yourself not having this want. Who would you be?
Slowing down brings you in the moment, into your body, and knowing wisdom. Slowing down helps you to feel your needs and wants. When we are busy trying to figure it out, power through, or take charge, we won't understand the intricacies and subtleties of our true nature. Then we will imitate, compete, and compare ourselves, instead of knowing ourselves.
Consciousness is being able to witness, feel and observe, then act - or not act - taking responsibility for your choice. Learn to detect the types of situations in which you should not interrupt. An action in progress, despite the sudden uneasiness which tells you that you should stop and feel and think about it. These are often situations involving other people who will, in effect, not give you time to think; and if you stop and think you will be removing some of your attention needed to deal effectively with such people. Going within to feel the gut of the situation, the intuitions whispering to you, are important. Only if you breathe and take a moment, can you start to hear, feel and sort out all of the voices, thoughts and learned behavior. Then you can move through the jungle of messages in your subconscious and find the right decision for that moment.
Treat every experience as a communication from somewhere.
Ask: Why did that happen?
What is it trying to tell me?
Why did I notice that?
If you question deeply, you can learn how to, even prior to even what seems the most trivial actions, who you are. You will suddenly discover a whole new reality.
How Dare I Love Myself
-- Marta Luzim
I am not enlightened, although I know I am immortal.
I lived many times, in many destinies, down many streams of light
I do not know how an enlightened being feels
I can only fantasize vicariously about eternal joy and freedom
and at moments, sweetly brief, like the smell of pure mountain air
I know the miracle of the Creator's intention
Loving everyone all the time is a mystery to me
But I have developed a wisdom that comes with triumphs and defeats
directed by a path of invisible footsteps summoned by my need to heal my pain
I live my life being and doing, being and doing
then resting my weary bones
wiping away the dew of morning tears on my heart
in a silence that brings more tears
I am suspicious of these cries that spring from the well of love and grief
that speak to me in my dreams and in my longing for the Miraculous
I do not know if I can forgive completely
but I know I can stop blaming anyone for who I am and what I become
My forgiveness dwells in the blood that drips from my wrists
in every slash of self-hatred I've inflicted upon myself
Yes, I can forgive this because I understand my blood
I can caress its pain and embrace its ignorance
a mother to myself
Yearning for the day my blood will flow into Oneness
instead of merely trickle in my brain, separate from human touch
I crawl closer to knowing this as I gaze into every person's eye and see myself
So I climb the deep ravine of my soul to forgive the only person that I have not believed was worthy of my forgiveness
That is me, totally me, and the me in everyone
I trust with a blind faith that one day this will wash away the illusion that binds me to my hardened fidelity
Songs, blessings, burn in my veins chanting hymns of love
Great ecstasy waits for all of us
I have no claim to this Love although it claims me without mercy
Everyday I pry my heart open
forcefully twisting it around and around like an old rusty jar with its top stuck
left forgotten in the back of a refrigerator.
A little more, a little more each day I scrape away the dead juices cementing it closed
Patiently I wait, praying, oh, praying on my knees with hands clutched tightly
Over and over asking for my sight to clear itself so splendor can tingle in me
Until then I continue on like a waterfall merging into the river
the river into the sea
I live a little. I die a little and then live again
Hungering for the union of the cool ravishing tongue of the ocean waves
Eroding my past and my gut wrenching agony with each lick of its invigorating foam
Surfing, balancing, connecting to its billowy ride along the earth
This insistence, this demand I set as my mission is the only way I can love myself
Nothing more and nothing less
All my talents, my visions, my desire rests in the arms of this request
This heavy fisted appeal pounds down on my guilt, shame and arrogance
That says to me "I carry on, I carry on through it all."
And this is my love song to myself
A vigilante on horseback yelping like a wild animal into the dust
I carry on, I carry on, I carry on
Guns ablaze, ready to shoot anyone who dares to stop me
A love that never gives up on me even in my darkest times
Even when I look in the mirror and see a she-devil staring back at me
I guess I am worthy to love if I carry on and on and on and on and on...
I know I am immortal and I carry on unenlightened and questing for more
Recommended Resources
by Belleruth Naparstek:
"I designed this guided imagery with help from combat vets, survivors of rape, bombings, accidents, natural disasters and incest, and I think it's the best work I've done. It goes very deep, and seems to work best with seasoned wounds."
Purchase the CD on Amazon.com or Health Journeys.com
What to Remember When Waking: The Disciplines of an Everyday Life
by David Whyte
: Purchase the CD on Amazon.com
What Every Practitioner Needs to Know about Childhood Trauma and Childhood Disease
Read the report on NICABM's website: http://www.nicabm.com/trauma-and-chronic-disease/1/confirmed/
The Link between Sleep and Chronic Disease
Read the report on NICABM's website: http://www.nicabm.com/sleep-and-chronic-disease/confirmed/
Send in your writings to be posted (with or without
your name) on the Give Her A Voice blog or newsletter to primalhealing@aol.com.
Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know your thoughts, comments or
questions.
Warmly,
Marta
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