http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirerinspiration, connections and news you can use from Jo Parfitt, author, speaker, publisher and mentorWed, 02 May 2012 04:04:14 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/Bw2Mk/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_May_Inspirer_.htm The May Inspirer The Apple Question Dear I don't know about you, but I do love an epiphany. Those moments when everything comes together and suddenly you have clarity about something. Look it up in the dictionary and 'epiphany' describes an appearance or manifestation, in the most well known case, of the three wise men. Many also consider this word to convey a sudden intuitive perception or insight often precipitated by a random event. I had one of these epiphanies recently when I walking through the underpass by King Street station in Alexandria, Washington DC with my good friend, Apple Gidley. Apple, who has just published her first book, Expat Life Slice by Slice, by the way, asked me a question. If you could only write one more book, what would it be? she asked as we pulled our coats closer round our bodies against the wind that whistled through the tunnel. Immediately my mind was awhirl. Only one more book? That was an impossible thought. As someone who has written at least one book a year for all my adult life, Apple's question felt like a threat. After a few moments I realised that it had been a gift. When faced with such choice about what we could write, many wind up disabled, debilitated, unable to write a thing. Choice, can, in many cases be a curse... if your life has been interesting and taken you places then you could turn some of your experiences into a memoir, a novel, a series of poems, blogs, articles ... but... what to choose and where to start? And so we start nowhere. Apple, thankfully, narrowed the field for me... What if I could only write one more book...? Then it struck me. One of those epiphanies I guess, that if I really could write just one more it would have to be the book I wanted to do above all others. Of course, to me the one is the one I've been putting off because the thought of it is so darn scary. You see, I have always wanted to write what I call my 'Natalie Goldberg/ Julia Cameron/ Anne Lamott book'. (If you have not yet read those writers then I urge you to read Writing Down the Bones, The Artist's Way and Bird by Bird because they changed my writing life). Of course, like many epiphanies, it was not the first time that I had come to that realisation. When I read my old diaries I am ashamed to discover that many of the same Aha Moments 'epiphanised' more than once and each time I had moved on and forgotten about them. Shame on me. Some wise men and women are known to believe that the really important epiphanies persist in returning to bonk us on the heads repeatedly until our heads hurt so much we can ignore them no longer and do something about them. Just one more book, she asked? This time, on that chilly spring day, putting me on the spot like that was just the catalyst I needed. She wanted an answer and I knew that whatever answer I gave she would hold me accountable for in the future. Thanks to Apple I have now taken my first step. I am beginning with what I always do to testdrive my ideas - a workshop. I will run my first Natalie Goldberg/ Julia Cameron/Anne Lamott type classes on Mondays in October. Keep an eye on my workshop diary for details, dates and times. If you're suffering from 'choice fatigue' aka writers' block aka procrastination then I challenge you to ask yourself your Apple question today... if I could only write one more X, what would it be? And then, don't just bask in the joy of experiencing an aha moment - take your first step towards making it real. Jo DON'T MISS OUT IN 2012 ONE PLACE LEFT ON MY RESIDENTIAL LIFE STORY COURSE IN TUSCANY 15-22 SEPTEMBER 2012 and NOW ALSO 18-25 MAY 2013 Apple Gidley's book launch in The Hague 21 June 2012 NEW WORKSHOPS starting October To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity - do sign up. And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in APRIL 2012 Wed, 02 May 2012 04:04:14 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/Iy1QA/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_April_Inspirer.htm The April Inspirer Where do you belong? Dear I have just attended the Families in Global Transition conference in Washington DC. I love conferences. Not just any conference, mind. I love those that make me feel completely at home, even when I do not know anyone else who attends. FIGT is a place where complete strangers meet 'best friends'. It was my ninth FIGT, but since I first attended Women on the Move in Paris in 1998, I calculate that I have now been to more than twenty 'expat' conferences. Now attending these events does not come cheap, so what is it that keeps me going back? I think Eva László-Herbert explained this in her stunning closing keynote speech. Eva was born behind the Iron Curtain in Transylvania to Hungarian and German parents. Before she left what was by then Romania, in 1990, almost as soon as passports became available, she spoke Romanian, Hungarian, German, English and French. Since then she has lived in Western Europe and now speaks Dutch as well. She is someone who thinks, dreams and speaks in five languages and works as a translator and interpreter. However, she has definitely lived, forever, between worlds. Answering the seemingly simple question: Where are you from? causes her to crumple or blossom, depending on how much the questioner really wants to know the answer. At FIGT, Eva, a first time attendee, found she belonged. There among people of many cultures, many mixed cultures, many tongues, values and faiths, she found people who truly 'got' her. The final words of her speech were these: Home is where you do not have to explain yourself. Thank you Eva for reminding me and reminding everyone in the auditorium of a fundamental truth. You see, this is why I attend FIGT and why I attend the WIN conference too, and why I return to international conferences time and again. I don't simply 'belong' there, neither do I have to explain who I am or what matters to me. Spending time in a place where I can just 'be' is both stimulating and stress free. Socialising with a group of Swiss, Australian, Korean, Singaporean, Indian, Belgian and many other nationalities every day is bliss. At places like FIGT, I swear I am a few inches taller. So, why am I telling you this and what has it to do with writing? You see, I believe that we can only create our best work when we feed our souls with what matters to us and we surround ourselves with people who 'get' us and understand what we are trying to do. Writing can be a solitary business. It can be hard to find peers and mentors to help us on our journey, to encourage us and give us feedback. That is why I belong to a writers' circle in every country in which I have lived. That is why I have attended residential writing courses, much like the one I shall be running myself on writing memoir in Tuscany this September, and again in May 2013. That is why I attend writing conferences and belong to organisations like the National Union of Journalists. As you all know, I specialise in writing and publishing about expatriate issues and living abroad. This is why I network with others of like mind. It feeds my soul and fills me with inspiration. Writing and expatriate life are what matters to me above all. They are intrinsically part of who I am. Wherever there are people who share at least one of my passions, I know that not only will I belong, but I will not have to explain myself. Among these people I am 'home'. Jo DON'T MISS OUT IN 2012 ONE PLACE LEFT ON MY RESIDENTIAL LIFE STORY COURSE IN TUSCANY 15-22 SEPTEMBER 2012 and NOW ALSO 18-25 MAY 2013 To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity - do sign up. And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in MARCH 2012 Thu, 05 Apr 2012 08:16:33 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/MJIJA/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_March_Inspirer.htm The March Inspirer Asking Experts for Feedback Dear Asking experts for feedback Have you seen Midnight in Paris? The latest film from Woody Allen? Now, I don't want to give the game away too much, but as a writer, I was captivated by the story. The protagonist, Gil Pender, is in Paris with his fiancée and her family. He is entranced by the city, finding it particularly beautiful in the rain. He is mesmerised by the history of the place and fascinated by the 1920's - a time when the city was the home of great artists such as Picasso and Matisse and writers like Jean Cocteau and TS Eliot. This was the time of the salon, when fellow artists spent time together, inspiring each other and giving each other critique for their work. Like Gil, I too have a fondness for the literati. I read Hemingway's A Moveable Feast, more so I could peek into a world where the author mixed with the likes of Gertrude Stein and F Scott Fitzgerald than to marvel at his tight, spare writing style. Imagine what it must have been like for a writer to have the chance to get his work critiqued by a master? I like to think that such critique would get straight to the nub of the issues and that their suggestions, providing they understood my genre, would be bang on. Gertrude Stein once said, a writer should write with his eyes and a painter should paint with his ears. She also said: The artist's job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence. Hemingway said: No subject is terrible if the story is true, if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure. Now, if that quote is any indication of the power of a critique from an expert then I wish Stein and Hemingway were in my inner circle right now. Feedback is the lifeblood of the serious writer. I may have 28 books published but I still need editors and reviewers to help me with my own books, just as my clients need me. Without Stein and Hemingway to call on, here are my tips on how you might identify your best critics. Ideal feedback My students and author clients all recognise the value of getting feedback for their work and they know how I feel about the value of a 'that was lovely, dear' that we tend to elicit from our parents and partners. I recommend that people get feedback from four kinds of people: those who know your genre and topic very well and can pick up any content errors those who have already had their writing published and paid for those who would be your ideal reader those who have a track record (paid for) as proofreaders and will notice any grammar errors or typos Ideal reviews And then, when your book is about to be published, you need to get feedback from people in the form of short, one sentence, reviews that you can put on the back cover. These people need to be one of the following: well known in their field, so that an endorsement from them will reflect well on your book. have written a book on a similar topic so that you can name their book alongside the review are associated with a big name organisation, so that you can name that organisation alongside your review and maybe its website If you can't manage to be in Paris at the stroke of midnight, then, apart from making sure you watch this film and take notes, the ideas above may be your only option. Jo DON'T MISS OUT IN 2012 ONE PLACE LEFT ON MY RESIDENTIAL LIFE STORY COURSE IN TUSCANY 15-22 SEPTEMBER To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity - do sign up. And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in FEBRUARY 2012 Thu, 01 Mar 2012 04:46:21 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/BG0XA/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_February.htm The February Inspirer Writing from the Heart Dear It's February. That means Valentine's Day. I don't think I have ever written about love in my inspirer before so I decided to rise to the challenge and give the topic a go today. Rumi wrote: Let the beauty you love be what you do. Which makes me think of those friends of mine (you know who you are, and your names begin with J) who are suffering from writer's block. You know, when I have found the words I am battling with as tough as wading through treacle the reason has often been that I actually don't love it enough. Writing that particular piece does not make my heart sing. I believe that my best writing emerges when I write about something that matters. Something from the heart. Writing from the heart does not necessarily mean that I should be writing something that makes me happy. No. For me, writing from the heart is about writing something that makes my heart thump a little louder, a little heavier, while I do so. Rumi suggests that we writers should write about the things we consider beautiful. A sunset is beautiful. A newborn baby is beautiful. That sight of my latest book on my bookshelf is beautiful. But bad things can be beautiful too. There is beauty in loss and grief and sadness. Some pain can be exquisite in its intensity. The memory of the life we once led and lost in the Middle East hurts in almost a good way. I left a piece of my heart there you see as I left a piece of my heart in every place I loved. My writing about those places is the stronger for it. Why else do you think I based my novel, Sunshine Soup in Dubai? Not all love poems are about good times, reciprocated feelings and happy endings. Many are also about loss and separation and hopelessness. Yet this does not stop them being beautiful and it does not stop your enjoyment of them. Recently, I have been helping one of my clients to write her memoir. In one chapter I was moved to tears by her story of her father's death. Her writing was tender and moving. She had written it from a place of love and a place of passion and it was amongst the best material she had ever produced. So, I challenge you now to take a new look at Rumi's words and consider the following: Let the beauty you love be what you write. Go on, now pick up your pen. Write something that matters so much that it makes your heart beat. Do it for Valentine's Day. Jo DON'T MISS OUT IN 2012 WORKSHOPS WILL BEGIN AGAIN AFTER EASTER! To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity - do sign up. And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in JANUARY 2011 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:01:32 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/L2Acc/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_New_Year.htm The New Year Inspirer The Pathless Wood Dear As a new year begins and many of us plan of our new year's resolutions, most of us will focus on dreams or goals and how we may achieve them. This year, however, I have a strong feeling that this is not right for me this time. Last night, on New Year's Day, we decided to watch a film. Josh, 19, chose Into the Wild, a true story about the spiritual journey of a college graduate, with the ambition to travel alone in the wilds of Alaska and to experience the wonders of nature. My husband was just out of the room and so we got the TV set up, started the film and then pressed PAUSE while we waited for him. There on screen was a quote from a poem by Lord Byron. Its first line was this: There is a pleasure in the pathless woods; Right away, I knew that message was meant just for me and that it had to be the focus of my New Year Inspirer. Sometimes we need to press our own pause button and stop and look more closely at what is in front of our eyes. We need to take a minute or two to look at what is was behind us before we move forward. And so I ask you... did you take a few moments to consider all you achieved during 2011? Did you pause to give yourself a pat on the back? Did you achieve or even exceed the goals you set yourself last year? If you remember, this time last year I decided to pick a word that would set the scene for me. I chose BRAVERY. My new year's resolution was to be braver and for me that meant that I wanted to publish one book a month and to take more risks with the authors I commission. I wanted to be braver about the promotion I did for the books I published and to dare to delegate more to freelance editors and assistants. When I pause and look back I can see that I did far more than this. Only it was only a few minutes ago that I bothered to collect together the books I published this year, lay them on the carpet and take a photo. It was only now that I even got round to counting how many there were! I didn't publish 12 books this year - I published 15 and current have another 10 or so in production. I surprised myself. I even achieved a lifetime ambition and completed and published my own novel. I hired several freelancers to help me with editing, production, accounts and promotion and started Expatbookshop.com. I even started a radio show and made 30 programmes. Just reading the list makes me exhausted. I reckon I had a pretty good year but I also recognise that I worked like an express train, even at the weekend, and rarely found time to 'smell the flowers' or take a walk alone on the wide beach that is a stone's throw from my home. When I look back, the temptation of putting a 'pathless wood' into my future is stronger than ever. And so, I am not going to set any goals for 2012. Instead I plan to do something braver still and attempt not to try so hard. Now wouldn't that be wild? Jo DON'T MISS OUT IN 2012 To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity - do sign up. And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in December 2011 Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:52:04 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/8VlQ6/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_December.htm The December Inspirer Coming Clean Dear In October, as you know, I went to the WIN conference in Rome. I love this event so much that I have attended nine times in the fourteen years it has been going. I wrote about this year's experience for Andrea over at ExpatWomen, and it was published yesterday. To find out what WIN meant to us all this year, please take a look at my article. And if you want to see more evidence of what goes on then you need to see my posts about Where Words Meet Art and The Importance of Art too. Every year that I attend WIN, it's as if there is always a message lying there, just for me. This year, that message was about the importance of art and beauty and about daring to be totally authentic, or, as Nancy J Adler, would say 'to out my humanity'. On the very first day, profoundly moved by the words heard on the keynote stage, I found I had written the following words on my notepad: Could I be the conference poet? My skin went cold as I typed those words for you just then. Expressing them fills me with fear. To share how much I love poetry is a difficult thing to do. As my vegetarian friend Kathy said to me the other day: Poetry is to some, what veganism is to others. Some people just do not get it. And that, I think is the reason why 'outing' myself as a poet is so very hard. I think that some of you will not like me any more if I confess to loving it. At the conference, I realised that, to me, at least, writing poetry, is my meditation. It takes me away from everything and provides a sacred space. On the last day of WIN, I heard Nancy J Adler speak about the importance of beauty and art to leadership. Nancy has produced a beautiful Leadership Insights Journal, that I now own, crammed with insights and quotes as well as her own glorious watercolours. In these pages, she reminds us that, in the words of Rumi: Let the beauty you love be what you do. And so, here, for the first time, I will share with you the poem I wrote, inspired by Nancy and by WIN. I hope you like it and that you still like me now that I am 'out'. What Matters (for Nancy) Do you dare to define your global legacy? Do you have the courage to 'out' your own humanity? Do you dare to be a mirror to your soul and not dazzled by the rampant myths of individualism? Do you believe in MFA not MBA? Do you have humility not ego and accept that it is up to you to save our planet? Come... Step up to the plate, past denial, anger, bargaining. Depression never got things done. Accept it. We have run out of time. All that's left, all that matters now - is beauty. It's time to see the details and the patterns in the details, the details in the patterns. To see truth with your own eyes. Only art has the power to teach you how to see. Again. And when you can see again, stop again. And listen. Listen to the stories making men; old men, ill men, real men. Our stories are the constellations that turn us into stars. Money does not motivate. What matters motivates. Sorry. Did you not hear that? Did your eyes not see these words? Nor the pain your people inflict and inflicted day after day? An Inconvenient Truth that you failed to notice amongst many other little things. Look out of your window. Children laugh and play: black, white, yellow, red - language is no barrier. Cash for grades, you said? Pah! Switch off your TV and start to see reality. It's beautiful out there. See it, hear it, touch it, taste. Feel the truths you know inside. Pick up a pen and start to sketch your heart's desire. Everyone can draw, you know. You are all artists and you all have the power to let the beauty you love be what you do. Jo Parfitt November 24th2011 Text inspired by Nancy J Adler's article: Leading Beautifully: The Creative Economy and Beyond, Journal of Management Inquiry, 20(3) September 2010: pp. 208-221. Jo WORKSHOPS 2011 December 6th, Blogging Please keep an eye on my workshop diary for details! Follow my blog, Facebook page and tweets I have been blogging several times a week! Sign up to the blog to make sure you don't miss out. Since the last Inspirer I have blogged several times. There have been author interviews, new episodes of my new Writers Abroad radio show, and lots of insight and inspiration. To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity and I am compiling a list of books by and for people living abroad. Please ensure your favourites are on the list by going to the Living Abroad Bookshelf discussion . And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in November 2011 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:01:45 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/EJvks/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_November.htm The November Inspirer The Key to Collaboration Dear It's been a busy time since my last newsletter. A time in which the name Steve Jobs has been on the lips of many. I heard of his death while at the WIN conference in Rome and since then have found myself mentioning many times, as I am sure you have too. For me, I will be eternally grateful for his beautiful, easy-to-use computers. I have lost count of how many I have owned over the years, but do recall, that I have been a Macaddict since 1988. I think I may only be beaten by Stephen Fry. Anyway, the reason I mention Jobs is because he once said that 'it is only by looking backwards that we can connect the dots'. I've said that a few times this month, a month in which my feet have hardly touched the ground. Looking back at October, and at all the things I have done, I lay in bed this morning, reflecting on the month, and, as always, looking for the theme about which I would write to you. And then it hit me, as I looked back and connected the dots, that this month has been all about collaboration. It all began at WIN, when Kristin Engvig, its founder, shared the organisation's networking rules, one of which is collaboration. Being reminded that doing things in teams and finding others to work with is not only an essential part of networking but is also crucial for people like me who work alone. For years I have described myself as a 'one-man-band' but now I realise that is not true. I work with three different editors and three designers on a regular basis not to mention the good friends and writers in my support network who readily brainstorm with me about my business ideas or problems. For years I have recognised the value of working with others, believing that 1 + 1 = > 2. Oh yes. And that's one reason why I approve of co-authoring books. When you work with another author, it means that you bring not only two sets of experience and skills to the table but also two networks and information sources. The more networks you have at your fingertips, the more people you can potentially sell your book to. But having a team of writers is about more than just potential clients. It's about potential supporters, reviewers, bloggers, promoters and those folk I like to call cheerleaders. On a personal level, the power of collaboration was seen in action last month when, those people who read my Monthly Inspirer, stepped up and offered to be part of the blog tour for my novel, Sunshine Soup. As a result, countless men and women from all over the world either reviewed my book, posted an extract, posted a guestpost by me or wrote a piece about it. And as a result, the people in the networks of the people in my networks got to find out about Sunshine Soup. Thank you everyone. Today, another collaborative book is launched. Turning Points, an anthology of personal stories from women entrepreneurs all over the world who have turned their lives and careers around from a moment of darkness. 25 people have been involved in this great book, led by its editor, Kate Cobb, who lives in France and who, incidentally, I had met at WIN at the 2010 conference. As Turning Points prepared to go to press and Kate and I discussed how best to involve her 25 contributors in the promotional campaign, the penny dropped. The potential reach of this book was 25 times bigger than a book written by a single person. Kate had the potential for 25 writers to reach out to their networks too. And then last week, as I picked the finalists for the second edition of my humorous anthology, Forced to Fly, I realised I too had the possibility of involving all those collaborators in the promotion when the book comes out next spring. I also took delivery of my batch of books from a collaborative project I was included in, Crave The Hague. Crave books feature locally owned women's businesses, city by city and are the brainchild of American entrepreneur, Melody Biringer. Those people who feature in the book pay to have a beautiful, colour, illustrated, double-page spread about their business, included in the book, but receive books in exchange. Sell the books and you have recouped your investment. You see, that's the key to a successful collaboration. It has to be WIN-WIN for all parties. The bloggers who joined my blog tour for Sunshine Soup mostly received review copies from me or a guestpost or both. I also made sure that I retweeted every tweet, commented on every blog and linked to every appearance on my Facebook page. The contributors to Turning Points have all received books to sell in exchange for their collaboration, the ability to buy more books at discount and have the benefit of being able to show their clients and contacts not only their eight pages in the book, but have all their contact details shared there as well as on the unique Turning Points website that Kate has created where she has also interviewed all the contributors. Again, the deal has been WIN-WIN. Forced to Fly contributors too receive books and buy-back discount options amongst other things. And Crave, The Hague contributors will find the book distributed to hairdressers, reception areas, hotels and cafes in the city, in addition to a host of online promotional efforts, live networking events and more. I love to collaborate and believe that books are better for having the contribution of a group of people. So, how could you collaborate? Who would you collaborate with? And how can you make your collaboration WIN-WIN? Jo WORKSHOPS 2011 November 8th and 15th - Definite Articles December 6th, Blogging Please keep an eye on my workshop diary for details! Follow my blog, Facebook page and tweets I have been blogging several times a week! Sign up to the blog to make sure you don't miss out. Since the last Inspirer I have blogged several times. There have been author interviews, new episodes of my new Writers Abroad radio show, and lots of insight and inspiration. To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity and I am compiling a list of books by and for people living abroad. Please ensure your favourites are on the list by going to the Living Abroad Bookshelf discussion . And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in October 2011 Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:28:48 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/LsO.c/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_October.htm The October Inspirer The Writer's Whip Dear The name Parfitt means perfect. It is at this point that I confess that I was not born Parfitt, but acquired the name when I married Ian. Those of you who read my Inspirer in April, will remember how I told you that I discovered how it was my ability to not be perfect all the time that had made me resilient. And so the breakfast dishes linger by the sink til supper time, I often find I have worn my jumper inside out all day long and my desk (and office floor) look like the paper monster has exploded, as a constant reminder that I am not perfect. However, when I am responsible for someone else (like, say, my children), or my clients' books, my stomach somersaults in fear lest something for which I am responsible turns out to have a mistake in it. My acquired name has rubbed off on me, you see and, contrary to my natural Mrs Messy style, I have become a perfectionist. I simply cannot bear to find a single mistake in anything I do. Not one. Yet, it has now been discovered that my recently published novel (Sunshine Soup for those who have been asleep the last three months and officially out two days ago) has a few mistakes in it. I feel sick as I type these words. I simply cannot bear it. That 10 words or so out of 102,000 are not quite les bons mots, is crushing. Despite at least four different proof readers. Despite reading it a gazillion times myself. Despite, despite, despite. And so I beat myself up, as you probably beat yourself up when you too make a mistake. In the marvellous film All About My Mother, Esteban quotes Truman Capote with the words: 'When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended for self-flagellation solely.' That's how artists are. We cannot accept that actually we may be okay at what we do and so we constantly find fault with ourselves, shrug off compliments and seek to perfect our craft. It is well known that writers suffer from the imposter syndrome. Every time a book is published, they avert their eyes from the reviews in case they get found out. One bad review does not make you a rubbish writer - not if you also receive 99 glowing ones. Yet we dwell on the one negative comment and seriously wonder whether that reviewer was actually right and the others were deluded or 'just being nice'. A year or so ago, Jonathan Franzen's novel, Freedom, went to press with about 50 mistakes in it apparently. Some folk never even noticed. The mistakes were fixed and everyone forgot about it. Some readers lucky enough to own an early version realised they could be in possession of a collector's item one day. And while I whine, and place the back of my hand against my brow, bemoaning my own inadequacies, my readers tell me they have loved the story and the mistakes did not matter. But do I believe them? A bit. The fact is that the book is 99.9% perfectly fine. By the time you read this all the mistakes in my novel will have been corrected. If you want to make sure you get a copy of the collector's edition, then you had better order yours this week. Because, you see, by the time of my blog tour (that I have postponed to 17 October because I could not bear to start the PR until Amazon had a perfect version) it will be too late. Is it okay not to be perfect? Possibly. It shows I'm human, right? Now, excuse me a moment while I go and fetch my whip. Jo WORKSHOPS 2011 8 October Blogs, Books, Brands and Bylines at WIN 2011 in Rome Please keep an eye on my workshop diary for details! Follow my blog, Facebook page and tweets I have been blogging several times a week! Sign up to the blog to make sure you don't miss out. Since the last Inspirer I have blogged several times. There have been author interviews, four episodes of my new Writers Abroad radio show, and lots of insight and inspiration. To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity and I am compiling a list of books by and for people living abroad. Please ensure your favourites are on the list by going to the Living Abroad Bookshelf discussion . And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in September 2011 Mon, 03 Oct 2011 05:34:19 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/DTt42/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_September.htm The September Inspirer Shameless self-promotion Dear I bet some of you are shuddering at the very title of this piece. Not terribly British, is it, to boast? The Australians call it Tall Poppy Syndrome, the Dutch advise that we don't stick our heads above the parapet. The Norwegians call it janteloven (Jante'sLaw), which, in a nutshell, means don't think you're special or that you are better than us. (Source Wikipedia) But the trouble is that I like to stand out from the crowd, in fact, I think it is mandatory in my kind of business. I am an advocate of shameless self-promotion. I have to be. And so, I believe, do you. That is if you want to be a successful writer who actually gets stuff published and (whispers) makes some money from it. Networking = shameless self-promotion I have run workshops on networking for a few years now. As someone who is now living in her fifth country and who has fought to keep her business alive and growing throughout the 24 years she has been abroad, I attribute almost all my success (bad word, Jo, slap wrist) to networking. How do I 'use' networking? I use networking to meet people who might hire me, buy my books or ask me to publish them, one day. I also use networking to meet people who may never hire me nor care two hoots about what I write but who like me and trust me and may refer me to their friends. Regardless of which type of person I hope to add to my network, it is fundamental that they know what I do. But herein lies the problem. How can we communicate what we do clearly, concisely and memorably without sounding just a little bit proudof our achievements? How can we build trust in people unless we share a few of my success stories? But then... the moment we share our successes some may accuse us of breaking Jante's Law. And, unfortunately, some may actually start to dislike us because they think we are bragging. Fortunately, there may be another way ... The easy way to 'promote' yourself Andy Lopata is a friend of mine and I have helped him with the editing of all of his books. His latest, Recommended, has just been published by Pearson and I have to say that it is terrific. (Did you spot how I threw a teeny bit of self-promotion in there? See, I can't help myself, sorry.) In his book, Andy shares how to present yourself to others so that they actually want to refer you. He doesn't suggest that you go about shamelessly promoting yourself... no, he suggests something that may sit easier with you - that you simply do a fabulous job of what you do. That you exceed expectations, that you deliver early, do terrific work and that you are super to work with. Of course, you also need to be very clear about what it is that you do for a living. In fact, my line, above, about people needing to like, trust and know you, is one of Andy's. If you want to see Andy in action, take a look at this super short video on YouTube about how to get your clients to refer you. And on the subject of getting your clients to refer you... It is with butterflies in my stomach that I share the news that my first novel will go live on Amazon later this month. As part of my promotion I am planning a 'virtual book tour' Sept 26th- 3rd Oct - and I would like you to be part of it It is with my heart in my mouth that I ask you to do me a BIG favour and help me with some promotion (bad word!) for my novel. Could you mention Sunshine Soup to your network between 26th September and 3rdOctober, my launch week? You can do this in six ways: You could interview me about any aspect of writing, living abroad or running a business and place that on your blog or on a website. You could ask me for a review copy of my novel and post a review on your blog. You could ask me to write you a guest post for your blog. You could post an extract of my novel on your blog. You could post a link to my book for sale on its Amazon page via your Facebook page or wall. You could Tweet about my novel, with a link to either my website or to the Amazon sales page. And to thank you fordoing this, I will do something for you, in exchange: I could interview you for my Writers Abroad radio show. I could take a look at your book proposal. I could mention you on my Facebook page, blog or Twitter. I could take a guest post from you on my blog. You see the other thing that helps you to grow your network without breaking Jante's Law is to say thank you to those who help you. To reciprocate. To nurture the people Andy calls 'champions'. If you do something for me then I would love to do something for you in exchange. Asking Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to ask you to something for me? I have agonized over the previous section while those butterflies went crazy and caused my stomach to clench. Why is asking for favours so darn difficult? But, the thing is, I believe that not only do we all have to find comfortable ways of promoting ourselves, but that we also have to ASK for help. And there is no way it would sit easy with me if I didn't practise what I preach. So I did. Here goes, I'm pressing the send button now... Jo DON'T MISS THE LAUNCH OF SUNSHINE SOUP - SEPT 26 (STAMFORD, UK), SEPT 30 and OCT 1 (THE HAGUE, NL). Email me for an invitation. WORKSHOPS 2011 Write Your Life Stories 20 Sept and 18 October Blogs, Books, Brands and Bylines at WIN 2011 in Rome Please keep an eye on my workshop diary for details! Follow my blog, Facebook page and tweets I have been blogging several times a week! Sign up to the blog to make sure you don't miss out. Since the last Inspirer I have blogged 14 times. There have been author interviews, four episodes of my new Writers Abroad radio show, and lots of insight and inspiration. To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! My Summertime Publishing Facebook page is growing in popularity and I am compiling a list of books by and for people living abroad. Please ensure your favourites are on the list by going to the Living Abroad Bookshelf discussion . And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. Published in August 2011 Thu, 01 Sep 2011 07:09:20 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/monthlyinspirer/53__o/h/Jo_Parfitt_s_August.htm The August Inspirer Give Yourself a Break Dear Last month I had a vivid dream. I dreamed I had travelled abroad (again) to run a workshop (again) that had been arranged for me by someone I hardly knew (again). As usual, I had asked the kind organizer to source me enough students to recover my expenses plus my usual fee. Duly, students arrived in the training room. Doing a quick calculation I realized there were not enough people to meet my financial target. My mood dropped like a stone but I painted on a smile, got to my feet and began to teach because it is what I love to do. Suddenly, the room began to fill with people. Swarms of them. Hundreds. Dollar signs swam before my eyes as they all sat on the floor. The room expanded to become a vast white building with a swimming pool area sunk into the floor. The water had been drained from the pool and the venue had become my arena! I had to shout to be heard over the noise of the new students. I had to stand on a box on the poolside and scream. Yet, while the small number of real students strained to listen attentively, the others chatted among themselves. Some even turned on the radio. I was furious! How dare they? Calm down Then it hit me. There was no point in shouting. The people who wanted to listen, would do so anyway. I needed to speak to the people who were really interested in my message and not waste my energy yelling at deaf ears. The louder I screamed did not make any difference, it just exhausted me. So, I stepped down into the bottom of the drained swimming pool and sat cross-legged on the white-tiled floor. I spoke at a normal volume and it happened - the ones who wanted to listen, still could, while the others, who were simply not interested drifted away. When I awoke I realized I had received a very clear message. Remember the movie Field of Dreams, when Kevin Kostner said 'build it and they will come'? Well, I have spent years 'building' it, marketing like crazy, racing all over the world, promoting, writing, blogging, speaking ... and actually, if I just stopped for a moment and took a look, I'd realize they are 'coming'. The people who want to 'hear' are listening. I don't need to try so darned hard any more. If I choose to greedily aim for a bigger market it dilutes my message. Be brave Remember, back in January, when I wrote about picking a word for the year and how my word was brave? I think that for me, the bravest thing I need to do is to stop shouting from the rooftops. In a way it has become my security blanket. It takes courage for me to dare to slow down. But I need to be mindful of the fact that in reality, new clients contact me every single day. Every week, new authors submit their book ideas and complete strangers book my Fire Away sessions. Take stock Now, I don't want you for one minute to think that I am suggesting you all stop doing all those things I have urged you to do - the blogging three times a week, the setting up a Facebook page, the articles, the book reviews and everything. No, I am not suggesting that you stop, or even that you slow down. What I am suggesting is that you stop for a moment and consider the effects of all your hard work. If your dreams are beginning to come true and your goals are being realized, then maybe you could allow yourself to slow down a bit, to stop shouting and to just enjoy the fruits of your labours? It is the summer after all. Many of you may be tempted to sit in the garden for a while, or to take a day off and head for the beach. If you believe that you have done enough building for a while, then don't you deserve it? Good luck with your own writing dreams, always Jo WORKSHOPS 2011 DON'T MISS THE LAUNCH OF SUNSHINE SOUP - SEPT 26 (STAMFORD,UK), SEPT 30 (THE HAGUE, NL. Email me for an invitation. Please keep an eye on my workshop diary for details! Follow my blog, Facebook page and tweets I have been blogging several times a week! Sign up to the blog to make sure you don't miss out. Since the last Inspirer I have blogged 11 times. There have been author interviews, four episodes of my new Writers Abroad radio show, one competition and lots of insight and inspiration. To make sure you don't miss out all you need to do is sign up to my blog! I have also started a Facebook page, that I will use to share the latest book-related and author-related information - perfect for budding authors. And don't miss out out many other tips by following me at www.twitter.com/joparfitt. > Unsubscribe Me With very best wishes for a winning month Jo Unsubscribe Me Mon, 01 Aug 2011 06:53:24 -0400