Performer's Heart E-zine: does comparing yourself to others leave you disheartened?
Sent Tuesday, February 12, 2013View as plaintext
Edition 12: Wednesday 12th February 2013
There has been a bit of a common theme in my work with clients this week - comparison. It was always a challenge for me, so it seems appropriate to write about it in our article. I trust it helps!
There are only THREE complimentary 45 minute Clear the Doubt Session remaining for February so get in quick.
For more information see the right side bar of this newsletter. Time to bring those dreams of yours to life!
Enjoy, Shiona x
Comparison - Sucking the Joy from Life!
Five years ago... I began my coaching practice.
Every Wednesday the institution where I trained would send an email jam packed with with success stories.
The more I read, the more disheartened I would feel. "I was not doing enough, what was I doing wrong, maybe I wasn't cut out for this ..." and on it went.
I could be having the most joyful day in the world and the moment that email arrived, I would fall in a despondent heap and all action would cease!
As Mark Twain says... "Comparison is the death of joy!"
Of course, I believed everything I read!
I didn't take into account that others were working on their business full time and I had two pre-school children. It was even worse if they also had young children, then I really was a failure!!
Do you compare yourself to others?
It is so easy to do. Remember after school tests... What did you write for No. 5?
Social comparison ensures that we ok. We fit here. What a relief! Our innate biological need to belong and fit in, is alive and well.
Funny....If we got a different answer the immediate learned reaction is - I am wrong.
Why is it rarely the other way round?
Remember these three things...
The story is never as it appears in the paper.
The old saying is true... There is no such thing as an overnight success.
You may never know what challenges that person has faced and overcome to get there.
Next time you find yourself comparing try this... Take a deep breathe and say these words... "If is is possible for them, it is possible for me." You can overcome your challenges too.
Your path is unique to you.
Comparing your success with another's is irrelevant. You are a unique person with unique challenges and special YOU things to share!
Comparing is simply a conditioned habit.
Put on your blinkers for a while. Immerse yourself in your creative journey. If this means deleting emails that hurt, or distancing yourself from some people - do it. You will get stronger, I promise!
Take notice of the little measures of success.
It is so easy to focus on the things that aren't happening that you forget to notice what is!
Ok, so you may not have that role you wanted...the money may not be here YET - it doesn't mean you are a failure.
Know what success means to you. Take notice of the little things. ... The smiles when your performance touches another, the confidence that wasn't there before, the comments about your improvement.
Make a practice of writing in a journal your daily successes.
Watch your sense of joy and excitement about your own journey grow. Soon the little things, will become the bigger things.
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Yourer than You." Dr Seuss.
The world needs you and what you bring. So embrace your own path, the joys and the challenges....they have made you who you are today... that is always enough.
If you often compare yourself to other then the Clear the Doubt Phone Sessionwill really help. These sessions are valued at $75 and are available to you at no charge
until the end of February. Be quick, because there is only THREE remaining.
Simply reply to this email and we will arrange a time.
I contacted Shiona as I was interested in finding out more about making my dreams a reality. At that time I was stuck and feeling like my opportunities to progress my dancing were limited and leading nowhere.
I started chatting to Shiona and was totally blown away by the amount of opportunities that started presenting in my life, for example, being approached by a dance agent, a relatively new friend recommending a funding application with no knowledge about my goals, the creative ideas that started flowing, being booked for about 5-10 gigs in the space of a few weeks.
At the moment I am feeling incredibly blessed because the opportunities keep presenting and are exciting. It has also given me renewed motivation and energy to keep working on my dream and not give up.
It has been so so valuable to me to have the support and contact with Shiona and every time I talk to her I can't help wondering (even though she has assured me she is not making it happen :) what opportunity is lurking just around that corner.
Jill - Dancer
Clear The Doubt! Complimentary Session
Knowing what you want to focus on can be a real challenge!
So many ideas, so many doubts, all mixed together. Comparing yourself to others just makes it worse.
No wonder there is more thinking than acting!
This session is designed to help you get clear on what you want to achieve. The first step in taking action!
By the end of this session you will...
1. Have clarity of your top three goals and priorities.
2. Know the first steps to take.
3. Have enthusiasm and commitment to take bold steps to bring your dream to life.
This 45 minute phone session (valued at $75) is available free to the first 10 people until February 28th 2013.