Earlier this week I attended a panel discussion sponsored by the always-wonderful All Stars Project. A diverse group of executive women from non-profit organizations shared their philosophy in the areas of philanthropy and human development.
In response to a question related to "secrets of her professional success", one of the panelists made a very profound remark. She said that early in her career, one of her mentors told her not to be responsible for what other people are thinking.
I invite you to reflect on this idea, because it has many interesting implications.
First, we aren't mind readers. Trying to figure out what someone is thinking is truly a waste of time. Taking responsibility for it is crazy.
Second, you can't please everyone. So even if you do know what someone is thinking - and it happens to be a different view than your own - you can't be responsible.
When you try to take responsibility for what someone is thinking, it takes a lot of energy and detracts from what you are trying to accomplish. It is truly unproductive behavior, and engaging in it hinders both your creativity and objectivity.
The bottom line is that by going down this path, you will usually diminish the overall impact of what you're trying to say, do, or accomplish.
This doesn't mean that you can't be sensitive and appreciative of other people's opinions, perspective and point of view. Of course, you want to be sensitive to and aware of what others think and feel.
Here's the simplest of tips: Instead of trying to be responsible for what others think, be responsible for your own thoughts and see how this ripples through your future success.
Copyright 2010 Lisa M. Aldisert