One of my clients commented that she picked up a bad habit from her manager, which is checking her BlackBerry while she's talking to someone. She was embarrassed to talk about this, because she knows that it's rude. On the other hand, she rationalized the behavior by saying that she unintentionally absorbed it.

This made me think about role models. When we purposefully model someone's behavior, we select the good characteristics. When we're not consciously thinking about it, however, it's possible to adopt bad characteristics.

Since my client talked about this, I've paid closer attention. Even the smallest things can be transmitted in a short time. For example, at the beginning of a meeting, one person was fidgeting with a pen, and by the end of the meeting two others were doing it.

In another case, someone who is normally quite articulate started injecting a lot of "ums" into his speech, because someone else in the conversation was doing so.

None of these are earthshaking behaviors. But they're symptomatic of worse things that you can unconsciously adopt. You can absorb bad moods or lousy morale even more quickly than you can start tapping a pen.

Leaders need to be keenly aware of how they appear to others, so learn to be acutely conscious of how and what you do, especially in front of others. Use this check list as a guide:

• Am I focused or distracted?
• Have I chosen to have a good attitude, regardless of what's happening in the environment?
• Am I aware of the behavior of those around me and how I may be absorbing it?
• Do I want to be emotionally engaged in a conversation or be more objective and analytical?
• Does my current behavior reflect the person I want to portray?

The good news is that you can change bad habits. Observe yourself for a few days, and shift away from what doesn't work for you.

 

Have a great week!

 

 

Copyright 2009 Lisa M. Aldisert

 

 

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