I had a client years ago who had a knack for
finding the one thing that was wrong in a
sea of right. An entire room that had just
been completed and looked divine would be in
front of her and she would notice only one
button on a king comforter that was not
exactly in the right place (1/8" off.) While
this skill set would be invaluable for an
inspector in the work place, imagine what
it does to relationships.
Look for what is working; lead with what is
going right. What you focus on fills your
life. This client's life was filled with
"what is wrong" and a constant barrage of
effort on her part to fix it all, or else
she couldn't live with it.
1. Before you enter into any conversation by phone,
in person, or by email, lead with what is going right
and what is working. It is all too easy to start off
with what isn't working, edit yourself before you reply.
2. Think back to a relationship or two in your life that
you lost, were you looking for what was right or
leading with what went wrong? This is not to say that
you should ignore bad behavior or suffer someone who
treats you badly, it is simply to suggest that focusing
on what is right and good brings it more into focus.
3. Look at the "what is wrong" parts as opportunities to
improve a relationship, retrain an employee, or a part
that needs to be delegated to someone else as the
person in charge, isn't getting it. It is a signal,
instead of a judgment.
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What you focus on fills your life, it is your choice
to lead with what is working or focus on what is wrong.