http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-listMain Newsletter ListMon, 07 Dec 2009 15:39:56 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/1icYg/h/Your_Life_Inspired_What_s.htm Your Life - Inspired Stop settling. Start living. A note from Shannon: It's bitterly cold outside, especially for the Northwest, but I'm enjoying a little burst of spring in my office. I have a Meyer lemon tree that's blooming and has a few tiny half inch lemons on it. It's so wonderfully odd to see it full of blooms with an iced over window behind it. As I mentioned to you briefly, I'm having a bout of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I've been nursing my tunnels and they're definitely getting better, although I still have to really limit my hand-time on the computer. Bixby, my voice-to-text software, (it's really MacSpeech, but whenever I say MacSpeech, he types Bixby, so I'm assuming that's his name) is getting only the tiniest bit friendlier. I haven't thrown anything lately, but I've been close. I'm still managing to get some things written, some of it doesn't even involve me complaining about my wrists! New on the blog: Your Email Inbox - Beloved Home or Ellis Island Circa 1907? Three and a half things I'm embarrassed to admit Hope you are keeping warm! As always, simply hit reply to this message if you have questions or comments. Thanks for reading! What's Bugging You? A couple of years ago, I wrote on the blog about The Little Things That Bug You. You know, the sticky door, the overloaded shelves, the smears on the office window right at eye level. These bugs are also called tolerations, the things in life that you don't really like, but you put up with. I first heard about this from Michael Neill and he credits Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach U, International Coach Federation and Coachville. ENERGY SUCKING BUGS When you look at the list I started above, yes, in the greater picture, they're just little things, but they are surprisingly powerful energy drains. It works like this, every time you get annoyed by these little bugs, you give them some of your energy. You think about how much it bothers you, why you haven't done something about it, why someone else hasn't done something about it, argh, blech, ick. You get the picture. This is energy you could put towards something you'd really enjoy. And the real eye-opener? Most of these bugs we live with every day often don't take much time, energy or money to fix, and taking care of them gives you a payback that's hard to imagine. LITTLE CHANGES MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE The last time I did this, I fixed a very annoying squeaky dishwasher door. Every time that door would open and close it squealed so loudly I'd squinch up my face and think, I have GOT to fix that. So, finally, I took two minutes and a couple of squirts of WD-40 and fixed the problem. I felt ridiculously proud of myself every time I opened that door and it was completely silent. Imagine, instead of being annoyed very time I opened and closed the door, I got a little smile on my face and felt good. And that's something i could always use a little more of in my day! PRACTICE Are you ready to get rid of some of the things that are bugging you? Make a list of things that bug you. You might want to walk around your home or office and see what jumps out at you, or you might want to start a list and carry it with you for a day or two and add things as they come up. Most people can come up with at least 10 items pretty quickly. Can you come up with 25? Review your list. - Are any of the items outside of your control? Consider accepting those things. Now, that doesn't mean you have to agree with them, just that you acknowledge that you don't have any control and accept that. It's another big energy drain to continue to fret about things that truly are outside of your control. - Do you need someone else's assistance to complete any of them? - Are there some bigger things in annoying you, like toxic relationships, unfulfilling work or excess weight? Break these down into smaller steps, little tiny baby steps, to help you move towards removing the bigger bugs. Commit to working through your list. - Allow yourself a reasonable amount of time to work through your list comfortably. Perhaps you'll want to address one thing a day. It's always nice to have a buddy to do something like this with too. - Consider using the free Quick Clutter Fix system to work through your list. Even if clutter isn't on your list, the audio can help organize and inspire you. However you go about it, enjoy getting rid of the things that bug you so you can have more of what inspires you. Have fun! About Shannon I know first-hand how important it is to spend some regular time doing that thing you love. And just how much fun it can be when you turn it into a business! I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped hundreds of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my longer bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Want to know more about coaching, like how to schedule a session, or a free 20 minute chat? Head over to the Services page. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Plus get your very own copy of the Checking In With Yourself audio and PDF. Until next time! Just so you know, here and on my blog I sometimes link to products or people I think you may be interested in. I often use an affiliate link. This means that if you buy something from one of these sites, the company will thank me for the referral by sharing some of their profits and giving me a percentage of the purchase price. It doesn't change what you pay. (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2009 Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:39:56 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/1jraV/h/You_Creating_You_You_Never.htm You Creating You Helping you break free from the roles that trap you and be your whole self. A note from Shannon: The birds are singing, we're eating fresh salad from the garden every night, it's light past 9pm. What a great time of year! What are your summer projects? I have some boxes of junk that I really want to get through in the next few months. What about you? Do you have a crammed closet, packed basement or overflowing garage to deal with this summer? Consider joining us for the Declutter Happy Hour e-course as a way to make the job easier. This is my project with professional organizer extraordinaire, Janine Adams. During April and May, we had two wonderful live four-week sessions. Check out the before and after pictures on the Cheers page. I want to make sure you know there's a big discount if you order before the class goes live on June 18th. Enter HappyHour in the discount box and you'll save $40. After that, it's back to normal prices. Thanks for reading! You Never Know How Far a Change Will Go... ...sometimes even to the top of a mountain. Here's what I mean. A couple of weeks ago I had a friend over for dinner. When I was telling her my plans to climb Mt. Hood the following day, she started laughing. Remember when we rented a cabin on the mountain and a couple of us wanted to go snowshoeing? Do you remember what you said? Probably something like, 'You guys have fun, I'll be reading by the fire.' Yep, plus a rant about why would anyone want to go out in the snow and sweat. Capped off with, and I quote, 'I'm allergic to exercise.' SO WHAT HAD CHANGED ME SO COMPLETELY? I know one thing that has made a big difference is that I met my sweetie. He's all about being active. He feels best when sweat's dripping down his face and he can barely breathe. I'm not to that point, but I have re-discovered a love for activity and physical challenge and being outdoors. BUT IT'S NOT THE WHOLE STORY No, it started in a director's chair in a Ramada Inn Conference Room in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I was taking a ten day training with John Overdurf and Julie Silverthorn to become certified as a Master Practitioner in NLP. I volunteered to be the demo subject for a Breakthrough Session. With breakthrough sessions, you typically work with a client on a major aspect of their life, such as career, relationships or health. I volunteered to do it on health, almost as an afterthought. I'd never really given my health much thought before, until I had a scary diagnosis, which was just after my cousin's diagnosis with thyroid cancer, and followed by my Mom's cancer diagnosis, and my aunt dying from colon cancer. I was scared and didn't know what to do. VALUES ARE A ROAD MAP The cool thing about breakthrough sessions is that you uncover your values, your unconscious motivations, in a really conscious way. When things are troublesome or you're feeling pulled in different directions, there are often conflicting values mucking things up. When you clear up those issues, the unconscious map provided by your values is much easier to follow. Decisions and choices are infinitely easier. So, we delved into my unconscious values around health. I want to point out that these are generally pretty unconscious. If you asked someone what their health values were, they probably wouldn't say what's really driving them, but something close to what they think they should value about health. Definitely not the crazy stuff that came up for me through this process. I can't remember them exactly, but my top value was something like: Don't fall into old patterns And there wasn't a single mention of health or wellness in the eight or ten other values I came up with. When you think about values as a map to guide you, these kind of values don't help! You end up thinking about what you don't want, where you don't want to go, and not really knowing where it is you really want to go. As a map, it's crap. Through the Breakthrough process, John and Julie cleaned that stuff up, and I was able to come up with values that would really guide me to being healthy. Again, I can't quite remember what they were, except for the first one. Do something about it. A bit of a strange value, unless you take into account it's from someone who claimed to be allergic to exercise. When I got home, I had this urge to try different things. I took a belly dancing class. I took riding lessons. I joined a gym. Went to yoga. Started hiking, cycling, and now, I climb mountains. Literally. Mt. Hood and Mt. Saint Helens in the last few weeks. Mt. Shasta and Mt. Baker are coming up. It was nice to be reminded by my friend where I had been just a few years ago. It gives me the opportunity to revel in my successes, and realize just how far I've come. And I did it without getting hard nosed, setting goals, meeting timeframes, pushing. But rather, simply doing something about it in a way that was just right for me. PRACTICE Is there something you'd like to change in your life and aren't sure where to begin? Choose an area of your life to focus on. Ask yourself, what's been important to me about X? Be willing to be really honest. Keep asking the question until you feel that you've written out all of your motivations and values in this area. Think about the area you're focusing on, why does changing it matter to you? Why bother? Start to create a picture of what it'll be like when you are being the way you want to be in that area of your life. What's one thing you have to value to have that? Notice how your choices can change to reflect that. Have fun! I'd love it if you'd try this and come by the blog and let me know how it went. About Shannon I know first-hand how important it is to spend some regular time doing that thing you love. And just how much fun it can be when you turn it into a business! I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped 100's of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my longer bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Plus get your very own copy of the Checking In With Yourself audio and PDF. Until next time! (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2009 Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:22:37 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/28DN3/h/You_Creating_You_What_If.htm You Creating You Helping you get your creative thing, whatever it may be, out into the world. A note from Shannon: I don't know about you, but springtime seems to have everyone busy, busy, busy! Clients were asking for something that would help them take a moment to re-balance, and check in with themselves. A special gift I created a short but powerful audio recording to do this, based on a technique I use with my clients and a related piece I wrote a while back on Checking In With Yourself. I'd love for you to get your copy of this recording, and a PDF with the companion piece. New subscribers will get the links to this recording when they first sign-up. You can simply go and download the links here. If you know anyone who could benefit from a quick dose of calm, please feel free to pass along the newsletter subscription page. (Also, once signed-up for the newsletter, subscribers get advance notice of courses, products and services, plus a special price.) A special offer Last month I announced an exciting new project with with professional organizer extraordinaire, Janine Adams to teach a new teleclass, Declutter Happy Hour. The first session has been great! We're now accepting sign-ups for the May session. We want to offer you, our loyal readers a special discount, so there's a secret VIP page, with special pricing just for you. I hope you'll join us! The early bird VIP price (a $50 savings) ends this Friday, April 24th. Thanks for reading! What If There Was Just One Answer? There is...wait...Love is the answer. Stop your sniggering. Yes, yes, it's a bit of a hippy notion, picture John Lennon singing the line in his round glasses in the early '70s. People (me too!) can get snarky and cynical about it. I think partly because it's not the easiest thing to live by. And yet, I really believe it's true. Imagine what your life would be like if you did everything from love. If you made your choices, big and small, from love. HOW DO YOU ANSWER THE QUESTIONS IN YOUR LIFE? Think about how you make choices now. I'm going to guess it's some combination of obligation and guilt, and maybe some other stuff mixed in for flavor. But obligation and guilt are the biggies. Take a second right now, and run through your day so far. When you got up this morning, did you choose the time because that's when you'd love to start your day, or it feels best when you have that amount of time in the morning? Or because that's when you HAD to get up. And what about breakfast? Did you eat what you ate because you love the way it fuels your body and how it tastes, or because you really wanted it even though you end up feeling physically crappy and maybe even guilty afterwards? I used to eat cereal for breakfast. That's what I grew up eating, and I never thought much about it. I never really loved it, it was more of a habit. But, I realized I would always end up feeling famished in just a few hours. You know that hollow-bellied, light-headed, I have to eat something now feeling. After some experimenting I realized that I felt a million times better if I ate more protein for breakfast. Now, I'll have some yogurt with homemade, nut-laden granola. It tastes so good to me in the morning, and I feel pleasantly sated until lunchtime. What would it be like for you if you started your morning with love? YOU WON'T TURN INTO A HEDONISTIC NE'ER-DO-WELL This is where it can get confusing and most people give up. What happens is, they start to think that to do something from love, means they get to do whatever the hell they want. But that's more of an infatuation, a school kid's crush. The love I'm talking about is a love of kindness and compassion. An acceptance of what is, a willingness to really see things and make little (or big) changes that really support you at the deepest level. Research has shown that even school children when allowed to eat whatever they wanted, binged on crap for a bit, then ate a pretty healthy well-rounded diet. Now this isn't just about food. The same thing happens with other things too. So back to the example of your morning. There may be things you can't change, such as when you need to be at work. So, what if you accepted this? A simple, Even though I don't prefer this, I accept that it's necessary for this job at this time. (Special secret alert: You don't have to accept it for forever, just for now. Just until you're able to make a different choice.) WHERE CAN YOU ANSWER WITH LOVE DURING YOUR DAY? Now imagine what time is the best time for you to get up given the acceptance of certain things. Set your alarm with love for yourself, allowing you plenty of time to get ready and take care of yourself in the morning. How different does that feel? Can you begin to imagine the power infusing a little love into your choices can be? Be patient. Sometimes if you haven't been listening to yourself when you make choices, it can be a little hard to hear and understand the communication. The more you do it, the easier it will get. PRACTICE Is there somewhere in your life where you're feeling especially resentful? What part can you accept, just for now? What part can you change? How many ways can you infuse love into the situation? I'd love it if you'd try this and come by the blog and let me know how it went, or share your favorite way to add a little love in your life. REMEMBER TO GET YOUR SPECIAL AUDIO AND PDF GIFTS HERE. About Shannon I know first-hand how important it is to spend some regular time doing that thing you love. And just how much fun it can be when you turn it into a business! I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped 100's of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my longer bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Plus get your very own copy of the Checking In With Yourself audio and PDF. Until next time! (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2009 Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:22:24 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/gcZ_/h/You_Creating_You_The_Cost_of.htm You Creating You Helping you get your creative thing, whatever it may be, out into the world. A note from Shannon: During February I was caught up in making some behind the scenes changes with my website. It's now set up so that it's much easier for me to blog and create resources for you. It now finally reflects the changes I've been talking about for awhile. I hope you'll stop by shannonwilkinson.com, take a look around and let me know what you think. As always, I'd love to have you hang out on the blog, that quirky little place where I share and hopefully give you some helpful ideas in the process. The other exciting thing is that I'm teaming up with professional organizer extraordinaire Janine Adams to teach a new teleclass. Make sure and read to the end of the newsletter for the details, especially since you, as a subscriber to this newsletter get a special, extra-early-bird discount. And, if you know someone who'd love to discover, nurture or develop their special thing, please forward this newsletter. Thanks for reading! The Cost of Clutter When you want to do your thing, or even just spend some time figuring it out, does other stuff get in the way? Sometimes it's stuff (picture big finger quotes) like a crammed schedule, tight finances or family responsibilities. Other times, it's actual stuff, as in physical clutter. It can show up in different ways. Maybe you'd love to get started on an artsy-craftsy thing, but the spare bedroom, which would make a perfect studio, is full. Or you'd like to sit at your desk and write, but the stacks of papers threaten to fall in on you. Maybe you really want to experiment in the kitchen more, but finding the utensils you need is a nightmare. Not only does clutter create these physical barriers, it can be physically draining. It can suck your energy until you don't have any extra left to fan that small spark of creativity you're protecting inside you. CLUTTER IS SURPRISINGLY COMPLEX Professional Organizer Janine Adams and I have been talking a lot about clutter lately. It seems like it shouldn't be a big deal. Pick up the stuff, put it away or get rid of it. But it's often not that easy. Janine works with people and their clutter every day and for most of the people she works with, there's a lot more going on. It's not unusual for there to be tears shed in her decluttering sessions. Why should decluttering make someone cry? Janine explains it like this: The emotions behind the clutter are what that make things so complicated. For many chronically disorganized people, their stuff represents so much more than just stuff. Hanging on to things (or acquiring things) can have emotional roots. It might stem from what they were told when they were brought up. Or maybe they got in trouble as a child for throwing something valuable away. It might be a finely honed sense of responsibility that prevents them from discarding something. Or it might be what the items in question represent to them. There are many emotional sources of clutter. PRACTICE When you think about the stuff that is preventing you from embracing your thing, is clutter on the list? If it is, try these steps to help you understand clutter and gently ease it from your life. Ask yourself, how does clutter block you from your thing. What would you be able to do if you didn't have this clutter? Choose a physical area where you'd like to focus your attention; it should be large/important enough that you'll see a difference, but not so big as to become overwhelming. Start with one thing. Ask yourself if you want to keep it or discard it.If the answer's discard, move on to the next item. If it's keep, then continue with the questions. If you want to keep it, does it have a home? If it does, put it away. If it doesn't, yep, that's right stick with the questions. What's important to you about this particular thing, what does it represent? Knowing that is it still important to keep it? Remind yourself of #2 above as often as you need to. I'd love it if you'd try this and come by the blog and let me know how it went, or share your favorite way to take care of clutter. WANT MORE HELP WITH DECLUTTERING? Because clutter can be complicated, Janine and I are teaming up to teach a four-part teleclass, called Declutter Happy Hour, that will help you clear both emotional and physical clutter. Janine is great at this. She has helped me with many projects, including a move to a space that was less than a third the size I was used to. Let me tell you, there was a lot of decluttering to do! We are offering you, our readers and clients, super-early-bird savings on Declutter Happy Hour. The fee for the four-week (6+ hours!) teleclass is regularly $129. If you sign up by March 17 (which is my birthday!), we're offering it for just $89. After that the price goes up. Go to the Declutter Happy Hour website to sign up via PayPal. There's also a premium version of the class that gets you an one-hour session with me and with Janine, for less than half the normal cost. About Shannon I know first-hand how important it is to spend some regular time doing that thing you love. And just how much fun it can be when you turn it into a business! I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped 100's of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my longer bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Until next time! (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2009 Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:45:08 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/26E0F/h/You_Creating_You_Checked_in.htm You Creating You Helping you get your creative thing, whatever it may be, out into the world. A note from Shannon: Over the past year I've been exploring how I can embrace a niche in my coaching practice. While it may seem like a good thing to have a market as big as, I can help anyone who wants to make positive changes in their life, it really isn't unless you have the marketing budget of Coca Cola. I don't, so niche hunting I went. Early in 2008 I honed in on working with people who felt pulled between their business and family lives. There is something really valuable to this, and I think there's a real need for it, but it wasn't quite right for me. Recently I put it together. What really gets me excited is helping people do something they love, whether they need to discover it, nurture it, or develop it into a business. It all really fires me up. It uses so much more of my experience and skills. And how great to have more people spending time feeling good about doing something they love. Good for all of us. This is my first public announcement of this shift and it feels a teeny bit scary and a whole lot right. Probably should have my website rewritten already, but I don't and I want to start sharing this with people now! So, if you happen to stop by my website remember there are going to be some changes to the content in the next couple of weeks. My blog on the other hand, will remain the same quirky little place to share. And, if you know someone who'd love to discover, nurture or develop their special thing, please forward this newsletter. Checking In With Yourself I have a client who wants to feel more comfortable getting her creative thing out in the world. (One of the inspirations for my new focus.) We had a good session on Wednesday. At the very end, I took her through a little process to check in with herself, see what her heart wants. We went through it, and at the end she said, that's the kind of thing I'd love to see on your website! You talk about it, but I didn't really get it, until now. SHE ASKED, YOU RECEIVE! When you find yourself feeling a little unsure or icky, or like you want to do something but aren't sure what, rather than pushing through, pause. Take a moment (right now works too) and put your hand on your heart. Inhale, almost as if you could breathe into your hand. Exhale. And again. One more time. Now, if you haven't already, turn your attention to your heart. Ask yourself, How can I best care for myself in this moment? Then simply observe. Notice the very first thing that pops up. For my client, it was red. It could be a pictures, a word or phrase, a sensation, a color. It may be very clear, it may not make sense to you right away. If it isn't clear, sit with it for a few moments. And notice what you notice. When she sat with red for a moment, she pictured riding in her red truck, singing and enjoying herself. Then give it to yourself the best you're able in that moment, even if you're simply imagining it. She thought about her icky situation, but with that feeling, and it didn't feel so icky. In fact, it seemed just fine. RINSE. REPEAT. This is great to do in the moment, as you're going through your day. If you aren't sure how that will work for you, you can practice. Seriously. Here's how: Think about a situation recently when you felt lost or unsure. And go through the process. Or for even more fun, think about a situation that might come up in the future, where you could get an unsure or icky feeling. And go through the process. There are only a couple of rules to follow as you're playing with this: 1. Be nice to yourself. 2. Observations only (no judgments). If you aren't sure about this one, refer to #1. There is no right or wrong, no good or bad. Simply you, learning to care for yourself in each moment. There's actually some science behind this process. If you're interested in knowing more, check out The HeartMath Solution. (This links to the book on Powells, the best independent bookstore in the world, rather than the Heartmath website because it is more informative!) I'd love it if you'd try this and come by the blog and let me know how it went, or share your favorite way to check in with yourself. About Shannon I know first-hand how important it is to spend some regular time doing that thing you love. And just how much fun it can be when you turn it into a business! I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped 100's of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my longer bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Until next time! (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2008 Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:01:35 -0500http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/1sSb8/h/Your_Life_Inspired_Is.htm Your Life-Inspired When you feel pulled between your business and family And you want them both without losing yourself The stars have aligned in some bizarre way that has brought lots of old friends back into my life recently. I've run into someone I worked with 10 years ago, been contacted by friends I haven't seen for 20 years, heard from past clients. It's been a lot of fun, and a wonderful reminder of how important connection is. It takes time to stay in touch with people, to check in with them and say hey, I was thinking about you. But you know, when someone does it to me it brings a smile to my face and such a sense of appreciation. So I am practicing staying connected. If you haven't been to my website or blog in awhile, pop over and check it out. I'd love to hear what you think, if you have any questions or comments about it. And, if you know someone who's craving more balance in their life, please forward this newsletter. Is Your Self-Care Hurting You? If you've been hanging out in the personal growth world, you already know that self-care is important to your well-being - particularly in our uber-busy, chaotic lives. But, what if your self-care is hurting you? Wait a second, you say. If it's self-care it's gotta be good. Right? Not necessarily. Sure, your planned self-care is probably wonderful. A wonderful massage, a cup of tea in the garden, reading a wonderful book, a hike on a beautiful trail. All these can rest your body and rejuvenate your soul. HOW SELF-CARE GOES BAD But what I'm talking about are those little on-the-fly things we do to treat or bribe ourselves. Think about what you do when you're feeling run down and you need a little boost. Do you grab a cookie or a coke? Buy that cute little bag you've been eyeing? Zone out in front of the TV or computer? Pay special attention anytime you hear yourself saying, it's okay, I deserve it. Yes you do deserve to be wonderfully care for, but buying into the other kind of self-care is like loving a pair of shoes that gives you blisters, and wearing them anyway. The real problem is that once or twice won't really make a difference. But when we get into habits of treating ourselves in ultimately destructive ways, that's when you start to notice extra pounds, bigger bills, lost time and guilt. Big ugly guilt. IT HAPPENS MORE THAN YOU THINK Let me share with you just how insidious this kind of habit can be. There's a piece of zucchini bread sitting on my counter right now. It looks so delicious, and I know it will taste amazing because my friend, a professional baker, made it. But, I haven't wanted to indulge. Now get this. I've been working on this article for a while, and it's just not getting finished. So what did I do? I bribed myself with that zucchini bread. As soon as I finish this article, I can eat the bread, I said in my head. We have a deal! I replied to myself in my head. The crazy part, I didn't even realize what I was doing until the conversation in my head was over and the deal was made. Hello irony! And also, hello, I'm my own best client! So what about you? What do you do that feels good in the moment but hurts you down the road? PRACTICE 1. Think about your self-care habit gone awry. (I buy myself trashy magazines and zone out while I'm reading them. Then I feel guilty that I wasted the money on them and ignored everyone/thing else while reading them.) 2. When was a recent time you did it? Put yourself back in that moment. What were you feeling? (I was tired and wanted to think about someone else's problems for a while.) 3. What did you really need in that moment? (Peace!) 4. What would have been a different way to fulfill that need? (Taking a few minutes in a quiet place take a few deep breaths, and maybe even write down a few things I'm grateful for.) Try running through this a few times to become aware of your self-care habits that are hurting you. Then, when you're ready, try it out in the real world. I'll be taking the zucchini bread over to the neighbors as I go for a walk and enjoy having completed this issue of the newsletter! About Shannon I know first-hand how stressful life can be, and more importantly how a few changes can make it infinitely more enjoyable. I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped 100's of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my full bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Until next time! (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2008 Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:13:03 -0400http://archive.aweber.com/shannons-list/1KRx0/h/Your_Life_Inspired_Have.htm Your Life-Inspired When you feel pulled between your business and family And you want them both without losing yourself My business has really evolved over the last six months, and I've reworked some of the content on my website to reflect this. I'm now focusing my coaching practice on working with people who feel pulled between their business and family, and want them both without losing themselves. It wasn't that long ago that I was living my life on overwhelm most of the time. Juggling a business, family, friends, hobbies, you know, life. I felt like a hamster on a habitrail wheel -- running, running, running, and not getting anywhere! Now, through personal experience and professional training my life feels completely different. And over the past few years, I've helped 100's of people feel happier in their lives. I would love for you to take a look at the site. I'd love to hear what you think, if you have any questions or comments about it. And, if you know someone who's craving more balance in their life, please forward this newsletter. Have You Caught the Fix-It-All-Now Flu? Recently a woman emailed me because she wanted to make the jump from a job she hated to self-employment in a field she loved, but she was scared. She wasn't sure how to go about it, so she started with reading books to try and fix her fears. Rather than helping her, they were making her fears worse. She bought books about money and abundance, books about being effective and goal-setting. But when she didn't successfully make all the suggested changes right away, she'd feel even crappier than when she started. Sound familiar? How many self helpy-type books have you bought that you haven't followed through with, and just ended up feeling ashamed on top of everything else? It's enough to make you feel sick! And, in fact, you are sick. THE FIX-IT ALL NOW FLU You've caught the Fix-It All Now Flu. Symptoms include: Acute disappointment when you don't make all the recommended changes immediately Feeling like you're broken or wrong and someone else has the answers to solve your problems A niggling feeling that the author's suggestions aren't quite right for you, but you ignore those feelings, because it worked for someone else A small voice in your head that sounds like Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory saying, I want it now! It happens like this: You embark on the new program. You start out strong, and vow to really make the changes this time, not like all those other times. But after a few days, you aren't sticking with the new plan. You slip and forget, or you can't quite fit it in your schedule, or you promise yourself tomorrow will be better. But it isn't. Pretty soon you succumb to the Fix-It All Now Flu and give up, deciding that you just aren't fixable, and it's too hard to change. Emotionally, you go to bed and wait until you have the energy to try something else. And the cycle starts again. The real bummer? Not only are you disappointed that you couldn't change like the book said you could, you still have that problem that started you down this path in the first place. WHAT'S GONE WRONG Well, making changes in your life, real changes that stick, is like putting together a puzzle. Years ago as a teacher's aide I would help young students put together puzzles. We'd dump all the pieces in a pile on the table. Some kids would just start grabbing pieces, trying to fit them together, sometimes forcing together pieces that didn't fit. Guess what? It didn't work, and they became frustrated quickly, and left to find something more fun to do. But if we started by sorting a few things out first, like the edges and similar colors or parts of the picture, we could start piecing certain areas together. After that, the rest of it would come together, without any forcing, to reveal the picture we were working towards. There are similar steps to make changes in your life. First you need to have an idea of what your ideal life looks like. This is like the lid of the puzzle box - it's a sample to guide you forward in putting the pieces together. Now remember, when you're picturing this ideal life, you can take ideas from books, or people you admire, or wherever you find inspiration, but keep in mind, make this YOUR life, not someone else's. Check in with your heart and see if it's right for YOU. The next step is to look at the pile of pieces that is your life right now. Even if it seems like nothing more than a big ol' sloppy mess, find the pieces that you're grateful for, the pieces you're proud of, the pieces you're okay with. Give yourself some recognition, have some gratitude for the good stuff. THINKING SMALL IS THE WAY TO GO Now, go back to that vision of your ideal life. Bring back that really clear picture, where you can almost smell and taste it, and start with the most obvious parts first. What small change can you make right now that moves you the tiniest step forward? Embrace that change, and if it's seems too big or too hard, you need to think even smaller. No forcing! And keep taking small steps forward, refreshing your memory on the big picture when you need inspiration. PRACTICE 1. Choose an area of your life where you'd like to make a change. (For example, weight loss) 2. Assess what's going well and what could be better for you right now in that area of your life. (I eat three well-balanced meals, but when I get really stressed I tend to snack on unhealthy, high calorie snacks to treat myself.) 3. Imagine how things will be after you've made the change, when it's no longer a problem for you. What would you see, hear, smell, taste, really feel it deeply. (If I was at a healthy weight I would be able to play more easily with my kids; I could try some different activities; I would feel light and free.) 4. As you're imagining all of that, what's one small thing you can do to move you forward? Be curious and go with whatever pops into your mind. (Make a list of non-food treats that will help me take care of myself and relax.) 5. Practice that change every day until it becomes a habit. (In case it's been a while since you played in band, practice means spending some time with it everyday, being willing to not get it perfect from the start, and have fun!) About Shannon I know first-hand how stressful life can be, and more importantly how a few changes can make it infinitely more enjoyable. I've been coaching professionally since 2003 and have helped 100's of people figure out how to enjoy their lives more too. If you're interested in knowing more about my background, read my full bio check out my training and credentials or visit my blog. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them! Not a subscriber yet? Like what you've read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you. Until next time! (c) Shannon Wilkinson 2008 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:32:13 -0400