Hello , welcome to my first update of 2018! This year I will be going through some topics each month that I hope will be useful for you.
We're going to kick off with a few thoughts about Assertiveness. I've been preparing an online course about this, with a free trial section. Here is most of it, to save you waiting for me to do the final polishing and uploading. So first of all, what do we mean by assertiveness?
This can be a problem for many people - even the most surprising ones. You'd be amazed how many glossy super shiny people, who seem to
have everything taped, are actually quaking in their boots.
Then there are the nightmare work colleagues who are always on your back and never happy with what you're doing and even come over a bit aggressive - we've all experienced that! Maybe they are behaving like this for reasons unknown to you; but also they may not know the difference between aggression and
assertiveness.
It's an important distinction and one that will have a big impact on how you present yourself, especially if you are a leader.
Have a think about what it means to you.
Sometimes people think that if you are assertive you are pushy, and bolshie, and getting above yourself, and other thoughts along the same lines. I'm sure you can think of plenty
more.
A good way to approach the meaning is to contrast it with the idea of aggressiveness on the one hand and submission on the other.
It's easy to think that aggressiveness consists of doing anything you can to put yourself first and get what you want. And on the other hand, that submission is quite the reverse. This is where you behave in
ways that don't get you what you want but allow other people to have what they want without thinking about you. Submission is not a nice place to be!
Assertiveness is the best of both worlds. It is simply to state your position, unemotionally, firmly, confidently, and resolutely, without causing any sorrow or distress to others. It is based on the belief that it is
all right to have what you want, and that you are worthy of being listened to. So, it is linked to self-esteem and confidence (which we'll look at later this year).
It's not about dominance, power, overcoming others and getting what you want, no matter what the effect on other people. It's about standing in your own truth, firmly in your own place and stating just how things are.
You have probably seen all sorts of new year resolutions, most of which we will have forgotten about by next week. But here's something from Action for Happiness, which gives lots of tips for small things you can do that will make a
difference. I know January is nearly over but you can in fact use this on any month.
This works really well if you combine it with a Gratitude Diary - each night write down three things you are grateful for, and note the results of the Happiness Action you took that day.
What's a PPUP? Are you one? |
Well I was, so I know what it's like to be a Professional Person Under Pressure! I was one for years, when I was involved with the management of older people's homes in a large local authority. I know how it is - you don't go into a role like that
for the money, you want to improve the quality of care for the people you are responsible for. And then you get rammelled up in staffing problems, rotas, paperwork.....how do you ever get through it?
Then there was nursing - I was a student nurse long enough ago to remember with every bone of my body the 'Back Round'. This meant going round every patient in an old
fashioned Nightingale ward and attending to their personal hygiene. Nothing got missed. Everyone was made comfortable. The beds were tidy. You had a sense that everything was under control, and nobody was going to go without a drink or any aspect of basic care, as, shamefully, seems to happen these days. It was marvellous - but oh, so tiring! How do you pick yourself up to just go round and do it all again?
Ultimately it's a question of getting focussed on where your efforts will have the most effect, and to keep in mind your larger purpose. Coaching is one of the ways you can help yourself to do
this.
You can see from my website that I especially like to work with Professional People Under Pressure in the health, social care and education fields and help them to make their difference more effectively. I've got four face to face sessions left open for February, and unlimited online programmes - see the link at the bottom of this page for more
details.
Executives are people too! |
When I work with senior executives, there is a slightly different process from more personal and well-being coaching. However 'important' people are, though, they still have the same fundamental needs as anyone else. You can try the full
questionnaire that I use for free here - it's set out as an intake form but you can ignore any bits that aren't relevant. If your issues are around work you might like to try this exercise as well as the Personal Life
Analysis.
What's going on at This Coaching Business |
I can still offer a few face to face or remote personal
and executive coaching sessions, for senior managers and entrepreneurs, especially in health and social care. Of course this often overlaps with personal coaching as we are all people first, even if we do have super important jobs.
You can also access my online courses, which are now hosted by Thinkific. There are at least two now, and you can see them here. All have a free trial section, and I would welcome
feedback about it.
If you're wondering about what coaching involves and whether to undertake it yourself, you can book a short free no obligation call with me here at a mutually
convenient time. Or read my article here. Let me know if there is anything I can assist you with, and I'll be in touch again soon. P.S. if you like this update and you got it from someone else then you can get your own personal regular copy by signing up safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free download on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience. |
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