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Values. It is easy to say we have values when we surround ourselves with people who agree with us. However, when we go about our daily lives, welcome new people into our lives and keep our minds open to other ways of thinking, that is when the values we say we have are tested.
After all, it is much easier to be swayed by someone else's values when we've been told what we should believe and haven't truly come to know why we believe what we do. However, when you are confronted with situations that make you uncomfortable, explore the reason why. Explore, when you've had time to step away from the situation, why you felt uneasy. In time, it will become clear. Yet again, we need to trust ourselves, trust our instincts, but then be willing to do the work of understanding why we feel the way we do.
Recently, I was unexpectedly confronted with a situation that tested what I valued. My immediate response was one of discomfort and distress because I had an inkling I was the only one in the vicinity that felt similarly, but couldn't bring myself to be go along with the predominant system of beliefs. After assessing the situation the next day, I came to realize that while others may try to explain why such a situation was acceptable and attempt to belittle my reasoning, I needed to stand my ground. It was not easy . . . at all, as I lost someone's friendship I had come to care about, but I slept with a sound conscious that night knowing that I followed and adhered to what I valued.
While I am a strong proponent of keeping an open mind and listening to all sides of an issue, in order to be at peace with ourselves, we must know where we stand on issues that to bend would discredit our integrity or weaken the life we wish to live. We must know what we believe, and thus live by if we wish to respect ourselves and gain respect from others.
There is a catch. It's not easy, as I can attest to first-hand. Once you know what you most value, you will be tested, prodding, pushed and cleverly manipulated at times,. All attempts to try and sway you to go along with others. After all, it's easier when there is a flock that follows aimlessly behind and no one strays.
However, in order to live the life you wish to live, you must be free to make the decisions that will create such a life. In order to be free, you must have courage and courage begins by knowing what you value and being willing to stand by what you believe. As much as it often seems what we have control over is very little, there is actually so much we do have control over that we often forget about. Take a look at the below post from the archives to see what I mean:
In this week's newsletter, the most popular post of the week was one that stirred up many comments and thoughts from readers. I thoroughly enjoyed the discussion and found it nice to know that so many people could relate and were clearly mislabeled indeed.
Also, Oscar de la Renta revealed his resort collection this week, so you will find a gallery of photos to peruse through if exquisite feminine fashions are your taste.
I have mentioned it quite a bit this week on the blog, but I am ecstatic about my work this past weekend which resulted in the down-sizing of my closet to far fewer items and much more clarity. There honestly was a feeling of relief knowing that I have a capsule wardrobe that I can wear, many things that will mix and match well, quality items that will last and some breathing room for my clothing budget. I talk a bit more about this in this week's Style Inspiration, and also offer a few go-to classic items to have in your closet this spring in Jenesequa's Mid-Week Motivation. In all sincerity, it is possible to love fashion, stay within your budget and always look chic. Two essential keys to making this work: knowing your signature style and purchasing quality items that will last.
In the states this weekend, Memorial Day weekend is here (and the unofficial start to summer), so I have a feeling many of you are heading out of town to enjoy a bit of a respite. I wish you safe travels, and regardless of how long your weekend is, no matter where you live, I hope you have a lovely weekend full of a few hugs here and there, a luscious glass of your favorite concoction and time to savor the people and activities that you love.
Until next week, I'll see you on the blog.
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