TA #3: If I Had a Grammar

Published: Sun, 02/25/18

This week's free image source #3:
Sunday morning, February 25, 2018
Hello, hello!
Welcome to the third edition of Total Annarchy, a biweekly/fortnightly newsletter by me, Ann Handley. If you are getting this newsletter for the first time—welcome! You can read the backstory on its purpose in life here.

Nothing ignites fire in the gut of righteous grammar geeks more than the serial—aka Oxford—comma.

Why is that?

Maybe you heard about the Maine dairy-truck drivers’ recent legal victory that hinged on a comma—actually, the lack of an Oxford comma. The truck drivers won an appeal against their employer, Oakhurst Dairy, regarding overtime pay. Last week Oakhurst settled the case and paid up.

It’s a convoluted story, as most law-related stories are. If you don't know the story, I untangle the threads in a post—a longer version of this newsletter intro.

The case of the dairy-truck drivers’ comma has got several things going for it, says former New Yorker copyeditor Mary Norris.

It’s got a David-and-Goliath showdown between the little guys and the corporate overlord.

It’s got "guys driving around in trucks with copies of Strunk & White in the glove box."

And, of course, it's… wait for it… got milk.

But it’s also got something else we love: It’s got people arguing over grammar.

People love love looooove to argue over grammar. And we especially love to debate the polarizing Oxford comma: defended as a beacon of clarity, derided as an unnecessary pest.

Why does something as pedantic and ordinary as grammar ignite raging debate—both in Maine and in the rest of world? Even when there isn’t actual money at stake?

And more broadly: Why do some of us love to correct the grammar of others? Love to sharpen our grammar chops on the soft underbelly of those unfortunates who might use literally to mean figuratively? Who misspell lose as loose?

Maybe it has something to do with that word "rules" when it’s paired with "grammar": Grammar rules seem strict, impenetrable, unyielding.

Some grammar rules are more like laws or statutes—breaking them quickly creates Total Anarchy (holla!): "The U.S. Grammar Guild Monday announced that no more will traditional grammar rules English follow. Instead there will a new form of organizing sentences be." (The Onion)

But others are more open to interpretation: Splitting infinitives (to boldly go is a famous one).

Ending a sentence with a preposition.

Using "they" as a singular pronoun.

And the serial comma.

Grammarians are thought of as judgy, humorless souls. The type to correct you silently at a lunch counter when you're ordering a sandwich. Many find work as editors or copyeditors.

But most grammar sticklers I know come at it less based in judgment than in something more generous: They want to help us all be understood.

The editor is often silent and invisible, grafting weak sentences and buttressing feeble structure into something more hearty and lasting. They don’t get the credit for the bounty or the beauty, either: That glory lands squarely on the needy writer.

So if we think of grammar less as rules and more as a handy set of guidelines for clear communication, then grammar works for us—not against us. Like the best editors.

Grammar guidelines are often not hard-and-fast—because language is a living, changing thing.

Language is constantly on the go, always up for a joy ride to god knows where....

"Grammar rules" stirs up in the righteous a feeling of right and wrong, of needing to put a stake in the ground, to polarize language: Black and white. Off and on. Yes and no. Smart and stupid.

Again, occasionally it really matters (overtime or no overtime). But often it just doesn’t.

Writing—like life—is often experienced more richly in its nuances. Nuance is a Petri dish for language, which evolves to capture more subtle meanings (froyo, humblebrag. truther.)

So let’s get back to the original question: Why do we enjoy a solid grammar throwdown, anyway?

Because grammar rules are often not really rules. 

And maybe because grammar is a debate we feel entitled to have an opinion on. (On which we feel entitled to have an opinion? You do you.)

We might not be able to affect Net Neutrality (a phrase added to the dictionary in 2017, bee tee dubs).

We feel powerless about Russian meddling.

The world can be a dark and horrifying place.

But hold. Up. Just. One. Hot. Second!

WE SURE AS HELL AREN’T GOING TO LET THAT LACK OF A COMMA SLIP BY.

Here are 12 things I think are worth sharing this week.

WRITING

1.



Speaking of commas... my friend Mary Norris is the OG Comma Queen.

Mary had been the copyeditor of the New Yorker since 1978. She retired last year, but she left behind this fantastic collection of 32 videos featuring her thoughts on many facets of language and life. I hope you crush on her hard, as I have.

What does Mary have to say about the Oxford comma? See the video above or binge-watch the entire series.

2.

Grammar may seem humorless and grim. But it’s abso-not.

Mary Norris’s book, Between You & Me is part grammar advice, part memoir, and the sharpest, funniest book you’ll read this year. (Or I’ll happily buy you another book on grammar. Email me.)

Chapter 9 (“F*ck This Sh*t”) is alone worth the $10 price tag. The asterisks are hers, not mine, btw. I get the feeling her publisher made her insert them. Because Mary Norris strikes me as the kind of woman who takes zero shit.

3.

Emmy J. Favilla is the Mary Norris of the Buzzfeed age. She is, literally, Buzzfeed’s global copy chief. Her new book, A World Without Whom is as animated as Mary’s, but her approach is far more lawless and freewheeling. And her tone is Millennial, which will either delight or distress you. (Emojis sometimes sub in for words.) I’m only 29 pages into this one, so I’ll let you know where I ultimately land.

4.

Apparently, Stephen King said “most books on writing are bullshit.” Harsh.

Nick Westergaard intrepidly forges ahead and hammers out a list of six bullshit-repellant books that have made him a better writer. He includes Everybody Writes. Obviously, Nick is smart.

King’s right in one respect: You can learn a lot from reading books that are not about writing. But sometimes all I crave is a little inspiration and compatible instruction as only a writing book delivers. Check out Nick’s six-pack.

5.

"How I Write a Comic Book Script" started as a series of tweets from Greg Pak, a filmmaker and comic book writer (Robot Stories, Planet Hulk). It’s ostensibly about writing comic books, but the lessons are universal in that they apply to any writer. Number 6 on his list is spot-on. I do that All. The. Time, because writers are very needy with their editors. At least, I am.

Also spot-on is Greg’s comment that structure and organization are the hardest. More on that in a sec.

6.

I got a question this week from a writer struggling not with writing... but with structuring a book.

Girl, same.

I struggle the most with structure and organization in anything I write: What order makes sense? How much detail is too much? WHERE IS THE FOREST? All I see are these blasted trees.

Everybody Writes was particularly brutal: Moving around its sections in Microsoft Word felt like moving Jersey barriers on a turnpike with only a spork for leverage.

Scrivener ultimately eased my Microsoftian pain. The ability to restructure and reorder an outline and write in Scrivener's editor lets you see the forest and the trees at once.

It allowed me to hoist and reset book sections easily and precisely. In any writing project, it’s beyond satisfying to see the pieces finally click into place.

7.

TBR (To Be Read) and DNF (Did Not Finish) are the kind of bookish acronyms (or are they initialisms?) you might be familiar with. But Book Riot suggests a few more. My favorite is TTFLTWTL: Tried To Finish Lost The Will To Live—the one you think you "should read, but every word is torture and you can’t even begin to feign interest in what’s going on."

Writer Daisy Johnson’s TTFLTWTL is Tess of The D’Urbervilles. Mine is The Hobbit. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I just can’t get into Tolkien. I wish I could: I suspect so much of pop culture would be more accessible to me.

So I’d love to know: What’s your TTFLTWTL?

MARKETING

8.

Jay Sharman of TeamWorks Media and I sat down in Chicago to talk about the state of content marketing in 2018 in the major motion picture, Say More by Doing Less.

Actually, it's a YouTube video. I can’t stand to watch myself on video, but you probably won’t have the same visceral reaction I do. So here you go.

9.

Managing Editor Magazine's (and Rep Cap CEO) Mary Ellen Slayter asks me to tell her the difference between the "MarketingProfs Ann" and "Regular Ann" brand extensions, which makes me want to call a trademark attorney to look into "Ann Lite," "Ann Thin Crust," and "Chunky v. Smooth Ann" while I’m at it.

Anyhoo-sie, it’s a fun interview that includes my hardcore belief that the squirrel is the spirit animal of writers everywhere.

Click for the cute dog graphic, stay for the interview.

10.

Last Thursday night I had the very best night with the very best people when Wayfair hosted a Boston Content event in its offices.

Boston Content’s been around a while (co-founded by my pal Jay Acunzo in 2012). But this was my first foray into the warm group hug that is the presence of like-minded people.

Highlights included the moment the entire room erupted when my new bestie, HubSpot’s Beth Dunn, defended the Oxford comma; a content-inspired drinking game (chug on viral, blockchain, and circuitous career); the idea to join the Content + UX Slack channel ("full of creative minds from across the world"—Beth, again); high-fives to Grace, who drove three hours from New York just to be there; and signing biceps when we ran out of books.

And that wasn’t the half of it!


Photo cred: Juliana Casale

If you’re in New England and you work in content marketing or content strategy—and you aren’t in this group...? Well, you’re missing out. (P.S. If you want to work in content, see the job board.)

P.S. If you’re guessing Wayfair’s offices are as ridiculously stylish and accessorized as you imagine them to be... you can bet your power-loomed chevron area rug they are.

11.
What’s Next?

The next platform I’m thinking about isn’t Facebook Messenger: It’s calendar apps. "Add this to your calendar" apps aren’t new, but this Space Calendar subscription app from the New York Times takes things to a whole new level. The Times Book section has a similar calendar app for literary events.

Both of them allow you to subscribe to space- or book-related events via your calendar (basic). But what sets them apart is their simplicity and elegant execution (anything but basic).

From a subscriber perspective, I like that it’s giving me information I care about in a seamless, accessible way in a platform (my Google calendar!) I already access several times a day.

From a brand point of view, consider the potential to deliver to your audiences useful, date-sensitive content they care about.

WARNING: I’m tempted to wrap this entry with yellow CAUTION tape. The NYT’s calendar subscriptions work because they’re restrained in their approach. They don’t flood subscribers with notifications: It’s effective because it's infrequent.

So for the love of all that is good and decent: Marketing, let’s not go crazy... OK?

12.

There are countless so-called rules of thumb for content marketers out there. There are a million best-practices. There are slews of reports that tell you how to optimize your strategies “for more clicks, shares, and conversions,” writes Amanda Walgrove at SimpleReach. “The problem is that when you line them all up, many actually conflict and contradict each other,” she points out.

Fist-bump, Amanda. This is why your intuition matters—and YOU matter. Invest in honing your own insight and sensibility as a marketer and as a writer. Get to know your audience better than anyone.

It takes time. It’s worth it.


EVENTS (say hi!)
Free online webinar by MarketingProfs featuring Edison’s Tom Webster and Workfront’s Gary Clinger—and me moderating the bejeezus out of the whole thing. Sign up to get in on it.
Tools. Mindset. Craft. They’re all in this free online MarketingProfs program featuring Tim Washer, Erik Deckers, and me. If you can’t make that date, no problem: Access it on-demand for 90 days, but only if you sign up by March 9. Sign up via this sweet little link.

Hamilton, An American Musical: March 10
By the time the next issue of this newsletter drops, I will have seen the glory that is Hamilton on Broadway. I AM RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED.

I am not speaking at this, so why am I including it here? Because let’s just say that I could easily understudy for Angelica or any Schuyler sister—even if the General G.W. is more my American-Patriot spirit animal.

AND FINALLY

Evidence that eventually they’ll turn on us. And this is why we’ll deserve it.


Hugs for reading!

Ann

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Ann Handley is the author of Everybody Writes and other books.
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