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[X&Y] You've Just Gotta TALK To Her, Man...

Fri, 25 May 2012 16:05:44 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== OK, here's the deal. Y'all really tend to like what our friends Slade Shaw and Mirabelle Summers down in New Zealand are about. I mean, it's obvious based on the response I get whenever I talk to you about them. So here's the thing. There was a MOUNTAIN of replies to that survey last week asking the same questions over and over: How do I TALK to women? What do I SAY? Well, having finally gotten a 2x4 upside the head and figured out the obvious way to give you the proper answer to those questions,it's time to let you know that the very same Mirabelle Summers has written what has to be the most comprehensive guide on how to be a fantastic conversationalist with women. In fact, it's been under our nose all along... Check it out: http://www.scotrecommends.com/mirabelle And just to give you an idea of what goes on in their devious down under minds, today's newsletter is a guest edition written by none other than Mirabelle's kiwi colleague Slade Shaw. It's called, How To Create 'Subliminal Attraction'. Read on and enjoy. (And by the way, prepare to be somewhat shocked by how much Slade and I truly think alike. That could be because it's ALL TRUE and IT WORKS.) Meanwhile, I'm going to take the rest of the day off and kick the Memorial Day weekend into high gear. I trust you're going to do the same... ===== HOW TO CREATE SUBLIMINAL ATTRACTION Today, it's time to talk about how to connect on a SUBLIMINAL LEVEL with females. More specifically, I'm talking about how to SEEM like an extremely confident guy. Now, clearly this sounds a little at odds with my usual policy. I'm not a big one for 'faking it til you make it', because I think it's pretty easy for women to sense any kind of inauthenticity and be instantly and MASSIVELY turned off by it. It's like a bucket of cold water in the face: any progress you've made so far gets instantly reversed. Another reason I don't tend to advocate the 'fake it til you make it' approach is because there's often a lot of stuff to REMEMBER, and that gets in the way of your ability to relax, get into the momentum of what's happening, and involve yourself intensely in what's happening around you. It's a little difficult to be spontaneous and chilled-out if you're repeating bullet-points inside your head to 'keep you on track'. But fortunately, today's subject matter is a horse of a different color. Yes, there's going to be some stuff to remember here - but this isn't 'bullet points' that we're talking about here. No factoids to learn by rote. Instead, this about showing you how to get in touch with your own, physical confidence and then portray it to those around you. This is about positioning your BODY in such a way that her instinctive impression of you is that you are an at-ease guy. It's another way of LEADING her: you're setting an atmosphere of easy relaxation which she can then enjoy and contribute to. So just to clarify: this isn't about 'faking' ANYTHING. It's about making an EFFORT to man up and prove to her on a subconscious, GUT LEVEL that you're a calm, competent, laid-back kinda guy. And after we've dealt with the physical aspect of confidence, I'll have a few words to say about the importance of congruence, as well. But that can wait 'til later. Onward ... There's a phrase that's remarkably appropriate to today's subject matter, and that is: 'Motion Creates Emotion.' In other words, your body and what you're doing with it has not only a massive impact on how OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU, but--first and foremost --it actually impacts HOW YOU FEEL inside yourself. So if you STAND like a dude who's in control, chances are, you'll start FEELING like one too. Authenticity guaranteed and 'on the house'...which means your CONGRUENCE is ALSO guaranteed. Meaning, you're not going to be attracting females using a 'trick' that they'll soon figure out ... it's actually the REAL DEAL. Not bad for a quick postural realignment. Think about most of the 'nervous' guys that you see who are trying to forge connections with women. Chances are, they're looking pretty uncomfortable. And that winds up making HER uncomfortable. Once again, this is because most women will unknowingly FOLLOW YOUR LEAD. If you seem anxious and weird, she'll pick up on it and start feeling that way herself ... and she'll rightly blame you for it. So let's take a closer look at the unseen pitfalls that your body's setting up for you. Here's something that literally MOST MEN unknowingly do when they're not 100% at ease: they actually can't even stand up straight on their own two feet. I bet you know what I'm talking about here. They're rocking all over the place, they might have one ankle hooked around the other one, or they've got one foot kind of heeled over to the side, or they're leaning on the wall, or they're leaning on a chair ... This connotes a very strong message of UNEASE to whoever happens to be around. It's very simple, but not even being able to stand comfortably on your own two feet makes it quite clear that you're not at home with yourself. And if you're not comfortable with YOURSELF (so the logic goes) how will you ever manage to be comfortable with HER? ... and if you're not comfortable with her, you can just bet that you're going to transfer that discomfort onto her ... so that EVERYONE'S having a nervous, anxious, and all-round low-quality time. Hmmm. That's a lot to infer from just one little postural imperfection. But unfortunately, it's true. Think about any 'alpha males' that you know. Now think about how they carry themselves. As a general rule, men who are 'high value' tend to KNOW IT, and hold themselves accordingly - in a way that's very calm, very powerful, and with very little 'wasted movement'. So now might be a good idea for you to get a full-length mirror and practice striking some poses in front of it. Pay attention to the difference between how comfortable and at-ease a posture LOOKS, and how it actually FEELS. Most guys get fidgety because they can't slot themselves into a posture that feels as though it's going to look natural, so they end up squirming all over the place. But if you actually pay attention here, you'll notice that postures that might FEEL WEIRD at first actually LOOK very natural and relaxed. So take a look and get used to how particular positions feel so you can use them in public. A few quick pointers: - Shoulders relaxed and down. - Midsection tight and sucked in toward your backbone. - Feet a good distance apart. - Hands hanging relaxed at your sides. But WHY are these things attractive to females? Does it REALLY matter if your feet are a couple inches apart or not? It's like this. None of these things are attractive PER SE. For example, a woman won't take a look at a man's relaxed hands and think, 'Wow, check it out.' But it's the UNDERLYING OBSERVATIONS that are CAUSED by these little physical details that DO count in a very big way towards gut-level attraction. Specifically, all of these physical postures have the cumulative effect of portraying you as IN CONTROL and RELAXED. In other words, they're the physical hallmarks of a high-value, confident, dominant man. And as you know, these are the types of men who tend to CONSISTENTLY SUCCEED with quality women. It's a little like the little physical details that we, as guys, pay SUBCONSCIOUS attention to with women. For example, something that I've noticed is that men tend to be attracted to females with small noses and long eyelashes. Now, neither of these characteristics is necessarily something that we'd bother noticing in and of itself. You don't usually hear a guy talking about what a 'sexy nose' a woman has, or going on about her eyelashes. But if you take a look at some pictures of really attractive females, not a ONE of them will have short eyelashes or a big nose. Just as things like long lashes connote FEMININITY for women, certain POSTURES connote MASCULINITY for men. Know it. Use it. The 'little details' are more important than most people believe. Your body screams out the truth about what you're feeling and thinking, long before you could articulate it verbally. If you want proof of how important, and SUBTLE, body language is, then check this out: ...the case of the Counting Horse. About 20 years ago, this horse trainer claimed to have taught his horse to be able to add, subtract, and multiply mathematical figures. He actually proved it many times over, throughout county fairs, Vaudeville acts, and theaters throughout the country. Audience members would call out complicated equations, and the horse would tap out the answer with his hoof. And every time, the horse got it right. Nobody could figure out what was going on. Scientists examined the horse closely. They screened for electronic cheating devices - none were found. The trainer stood absolutely motionless every time - no cheating there, either. Finally, a communications expert videotaped what was happening. It was discovered, after many YEARS of debate about this phenomenon, that the trainer wrinkled his brow slightly and blinked whenever he expected the horse to stop tapping his hoof. That is, whenever the correct answer was tapped out, his HOPE that the horse would get the answer right showed itself upon his face. The horse noticed this TINY little change in his expression, and stopped tapping. Here's the weird part. The trainer didn't even know he was doing it. He wasn't TRYING to help the horse cheat. But his face twitched just a TINY little bit when the horse reached the 'right answer'... ...which was all that was needed for the horse to know to stop tapping. Now, granted, women are not horses. But the fact remains: YOU ARE TELLING PEOPLE THINGS WITH YOUR FACE AND BODY, EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW IT. You need to accept the fact that right now, you are communicating things to others via your body language that you are NOT EVEN AWARE OF. That's spooky stuff. Obviously, this isn't something to get bogged down in. It's just a small, but IMPORTANT, detail to consider in the overall scheme of reinventing yourself as a top-notch, high-caliber, EXCELLENT human being who's worthy of the women of his choice. Oh yeah...a little 'extra credit' reading material for you. If you're interested in fast-tracking yourself towards real-deal success starting RIGHT NOW, then you should know that accurate information is your FRIEND...and ignorance and laziness are your ENEMIES. All things being equal, you can leap-frog yourself towards an 'unfair advantage' by informing yourself adequately about how to talk to women. Your best place to start is right here: http://www.scotrecommends.com/mirabelle Stay Cool, Slade Shaw ===== I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks, Slade for your contribution today. I think you guys already know how valuable his words are. And if you're even THINKING you'd love to get better at starting conversations with women and making them attractive enough to keep her interested, then I'd say clicking on this link is a moral imperative: http://www.scotrecommends.com/mirabelle No more drawing blanks and awkward silences...ever. Be Good, Scot McKay ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.

[X&Y] Celebrate Summer...Here's My Gift To You <--For Real

Thu, 24 May 2012 17:07:23 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== A SUMMERTIME GIFT FOR YOU (NO STRINGS ATTACHED) Are you as ready for summer to get here as I am? I genuinely hope so. Memorial Day weekend is almost here in The States, which is generally considered the symbolic beginning of summer by just about everyone. Summertime's supposed to be all about fun, and with that comes many of life's simple pleasures like, oh...surfing, hiking national parks and meeting women in bikinis by the swimming pool. Then there's meeting women at the carnival, at baseball games and at outdoor parties on the beach. So I ask you again: Are you READY for some summertime fun? I want to do my part to make sure you are. So here's something I came up with for you completely out of the blue...a summertime $20 Gift Card: I did this for the first time about two years ago and it was a BIG hit. So I figured it was time to give out another round of these gift cards. After all, summertime is as good an excuse for a celebration as any, right? If you were around last holiday season you already know what this is all about, you know it's FOR REAL, and you're probably ALREADY all over it... But if not, here's how it works. Simply click on this link: http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/giftcard There you'll find all the details on how you can use your $20 Gift Card exactly like cash at the X and Y Communications store. It's really easy, actually. Just type the code giftcard20 in the field marked Gift Card when you get to the order page for anything you have your eye on. By the way, as you know there have been a number of additions to the store since the last time I gave out a $20 Gift Card, and YES...you can use this one for an instant $20 off of literally ANYTHING you want in the store. That includes the already value-priced one-year membership to Power Sessions, The complete Deserve What You Want Package (which is only $37 regularly) and yes...even Online Dating Domination 2.0. You can even put your $20 toward a 30-minute initial consultation call with me if you'd like. And YES...even if you want to use your $20 Gift Card on something UNDER $20, that's perfectly cool also. Like I said, it's like CASH: http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/giftcard Just remember, you only get ONE shot at it, so make it good. I'd also personally recommend getting in on a free month of Power Sessions no matter what, since that's a great added bonus. Once you get in on that, you'll get all of that extra advanced content and a full month of e-mail coaching on demand. I'll leave the door open on this for a couple of days for you, but definitely don't wait to have some fun shopping...on us. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. By the way, if you'd like to give a Summertime $20 Gift Card to a friend as a personal gift, I've got your back. All you do is link your friend to: http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/giftcard1551 ...and wish them the best when it comes to success with MOTOS (members of the opposite sex) this summer. That's right...your friend can be a guy or a gal, it doesn't matter. Emily's got some very cool stuff in the X and Y Communications store for the ladies also. Go ahead and take a look at that page. It's a different one that indicates the gift is from YOU instead of me. Pretty cool, right? ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.

[X&Y] Your Opinions Matter...Score My Book Free For Sharing Them

Sat, 19 May 2012 13:22:10 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, GET COOK FOR YOUR DATE FOR FREE (SERIOUSLY) As you probably already know, I've got a team of Hattori Hanzo- trained ninjas working round the clock here at the mysterious, mist-enshrouded X and Y Communications fortress coming up with the latest advances in dating science (or is that seduction arts?) Never mind that Hattori Hanzo kicked the bucket over 400 years ago. You get my point. Anyway, be it art or science, it's absolutely crucial to make sure we're putting all of our energy into the RIGHT projects. And by right I mean something you actually NEED, are INTERESTED in and can USE. So to that end, I'm doing what's logical. I'm ASKING for your input: www.deservewhatyouwant.com/new_project_survey As valuable as your opinions are, it'll only take a mere couple of minutes to share them thanks to the magic of multiple choice. Be that as it may, I'm still going to give you a pretty sweet gift as my way of saying, thank you. As soon as you hit the submit button on the survey, you'll be teleported immediately to an instant download of my 2nd book Cook For Your Date. No games, no tricks, no extra hoops to jump through. This is for real. Cook For Your Date is the book that's been referred to as The Nuclear Weapon since way back in '07 when I did my David DeAngelo interview. And you're about to get your grubby paws on the brand-new 2nd edition of it...for free. Become a world-class master at getting women to come over to your place and making them really, really glad they did. All I ask is that you man up and give me your REAL, HONEST thoughts on the survey: www.deservewhatyouwant.com/new_project_survey You can tell me whatever you'd like, just please don't check the first option on every question and put asdf down for the two measly thought questions. In other words, please don't plow through this thing pointlessly just to get to the book. Deal? Deal. Otherwise, Hattori Hanzo's posse will be bummed out. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. Seriously...the book is yours for free here. And yes, I'm equally serious in saying your opinions really will decide what we focus on over the next several months: www.deservewhatyouwant.com/new_project_survey ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] "REJECTED": For The Most Ridiculous Reason Ever...

Fri, 18 May 2012 16:20:56 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== WHAT'S INSIDE: Could it be true that by settling for women you don't really want could actually be fueling rejection? And can you even call it rejection at all in those cases? Read on... ===== NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR OWN VOICE How often have you found yourself wondering how to COMMUNICATE with women? After all, we all hear all the time about how that's so crucial to success with them, right? That can only mean that if you're NOT succeeding with women at the level you'd like to, it's time to communicate differently to get the results you want. But the question, surrounded by a problem, wrapped by an enigma is: How do I actually DO that? I mean, it's a common natural fact that what women SAY they want isn't always what they REALLY want. Well now there's actually a real, grounded, down-to-earth method for talking to women the RIGHT way...all courtesy of my friend and frequent collaborator Carlos Xuma: http://www.scotrecommends.com/carlos Inside this program, you'll get most essential elements of conversation that attracts women. And get this...Carlos also figured you might as well learn the secret rules of how to communicate with everyone in your world, too. So while he was at it, he included step-by-step how tos on communicating with other dudes, your family, your friends and even your BOSS in a way that will step up your success in just about every aspect of your life. How powerful are these skills that Carlos is going to reveal to you? Well, imagine having the level of influence over others that all but ensures that you'll be respected as a leader and supported in your goals? What if you could finally persuade your boss to give you the raise you know you deserve? And of course, what if you finally started spending your evenings and weekends OUT with fun and friendly women instead of at home with a Hot Pocket (pun intended). Communication is absolutely the difference maker. You can get the details here: http://www.scotrecommends.com/carlos No kidding, each week I get dozens of questions about how to talk to women and how to keep a conversation going. If you're finally serious about discovering the answers, this gives you all the tools you need: http://www.scotrecommends.com/carlos ===== REJECTED: FOR THE MOST RIDICULOUS REASON EVER... I've written before about how we as guys sometimes reject women we actually LIKE. As crazy as that sounds, it can happen when the too good to be true factor kicks in and we feel as if we need to kick her out of our life before suffering what we feel is inevitable rejection from her...even if we really, truly liked her. Call it a pre-emptive strike, if you will. Sound silly? You bet it is. We humans tend to do all sorts of bizarre things when we suffer from lack of confidence and/or low self-esteem. But check it out. Over the past two days I've been on two separate coaching calls where a similar but slightly MORE twisted version of this concept has come up in conversation. Let me show you how it works. Let's say a guy starts dating a woman. He thinks she's okay, especially at first, but after a few dates it's abundantly clear to him that she isn't exactly his 100 out of 100. In fact, she may be barely hanging on in the attraction department...even to the degree that our hero might even be reticent to be seen in public with her by his friends. Well, any self-respecting Big Four man (confident, masculine as women define it, able to make a woman feel safe in his presence, strong character) would recognize that he has options and give her the just be friends talk, right? After all, there's another guy out there who's going to appreciate her more than he ever will. But unfortunately, that brings us back to the simple fact that not all of us are where we need to be in the self-confidence and self-respect department. Therefore, either because the guy DOESN'T perceive himself to have any other options--or worse, because he can't stomach the idea of putting up with an emotional response from the woman--he quietly soldiers on in the relationship. THEN, here's what often happens in short order: SHE breaks up with HIM. Now see, it's how a guy who put himself in this situation tends to perceive that irony that's most important in this conversation...so listen up. Remember, we've already established that only a guy who's lacking options and therefore CONFIDENCE would probably even keep a woman around who he's not really so into. And it's precisely that frame of mind--structured around poverty rather than abundance--that would cause him to think the following: What? Even SHE rejected me? And geez...she wasn't even all that great! I must be a TOTAL LOSER. Right here, right now, you may see that as a completely logical conclusion to make. But there's something you're forgetting. Women, even if on the opposite end of the sexual polarity spectrum, are still HUMAN BEINGS. Therefore, they indeed have the tendency to process situations using the same combo of logic and emotion as we do. So guess what? Realistically speaking, instead of having been rejected by a woman who wasn't even up to his standard, the woman may have left BECAUSE she wasn't who he really wanted...and she KNEW it. That's right. The pre-emptive strike was on HER PART this time. Two can play at that game, right? After all, if a guy's just hanging around for no good reason other than convenience, fear of the break up, etc. I think a woman can FEEL THAT. It's an unfulfilling, if not flat-out humiliating situation for her to be in. So rather than deal with the frustration any longer, it's HER who flashes the peace sign and moves on. It's not HIM who has been rejected. It's HER who sees rejection coming and bails out in this instance. Now wait a second, you may be asking. That seems perfectly reasonable for her to do, given what the guy is thinking. Didn't you say that the men's version you wrote about before WASN'T reasonable? That's a good and valid question. Remember, I'm all about helping YOU as a guy avoid mindsets that will poison your success with women. So in the context of this newsletter we've talked about a guy's potential pre-emptive rejection of women he actually LIKED compared to his potential feeling of rejection when a woman he DIDN'T LIKE pulls the plug on him. Both of those scenarios are indeed unreasonable, and should be recognized and -as I trust I've effectively empowered you to do. But in the reverse situation to each of those respective cases it's COMPLETELY rational to break up with someone. In other words, if a woman finds herself with a guy she knows isn't feeling it for her, she is absolutely RIGHT to blow him off like a rusty muffler. The problem is HIS, not hers...like we've outlined above. That's actually solid self-esteem in action (and yes...it's based on the same combo of logic and emotion available to you as a Big Four man). AND...a woman who is sent away by a man who suffers from the too good to be true factor shouldn't feel rejected. After all, the only offense SHE committed was being too wonderful for him to bear. So neither should YOU feel rejected if a woman with low-self esteem thinks you're too good to be true and/or can't seem to handle the thought of you genuinely appreciating her...and runs away from you. So revolves the world. What a tangled web we weave, huh? What's the solution to avoiding all of these plot complications, then? It's disarmingly simple: Go after women you ACTUALLY LIKE, instead of pre-programming yourself to settle. How do we ever let ourselves settle, anyway? Man, it's ALL TOO EASY. We go to a club and begin with a few warm up sets or whatever. Then we end up with the first woman who showed interest...as if by default. Or, we go out on a first date with a woman, and even though we're squarely on the fence about her we'd rather ask her for a second date than deal with the awkwardness of telling her we aren't interested. Yeah, well...just remember not to feel rejected when that woman says, Thanks, but no thanks anyway, right? I mean, let's face it...that's what she SHOULD do, when you get right down to it. When you go after women you really want, the women you really want tend to really feel wanted. That tends to end well for both of you. So stop beating around the bush and give the women you like the kind of appreciation from a Big Four man they deserve. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. There are some intriguing conversations going on over on Facebook right now. Jump in and let your opinions be heard: http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] "I Know You Are, But What Am I? <--Letter From A Reader

Tue, 15 May 2012 17:24:23 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== WHAT'S INSIDE: Have you ever been duped by a woman into believing YOU were the problem...but deep down you're almost sure that the very problem she's accusing YOU of is actually HER OWN? If you even suspect that's happened to you, read this letter from Mark in Las Cruces... ===== THE ROAD TRIP PACKAGE I've received several e-mails from guys who've got a road trip coming up and would much rather use that time to get better with women than to simply fill their brain with satellite radio (although there's a place for that too). What a truly powerful idea. Actually, you can also leverage shower time, workout time and the daily commute to listen to audio, too--all in the name of giving you that extra edge in whatever interests you. For most of us, it's ALWAYS interesting to improve the quality of our dating lives. How amazing would it be to raise the bar when it comes to the women you're spending time with? So with all of that in mind, I've come up with something brand new for you. I call it the Road Trip Package. You can call it the Daily Commute Package instead, if you prefer. What's in it? Well, I've created a special 2-for-1 containing the two programs of mine that are most jam-packed with content. Those, of course, would be Virtuosity and The Difference. Right now, get Virtuosity and I'll give you The Difference at no extra charge: www.deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity What this all adds up to is the very best content from over four dozen world-class experts, combined with over 100 jealously-guarded secrets to success with women that almost nobody ever figures out...ever. How cool is that? Extremely...according to the scores of guys who've flooded my inbox with success stories. Both Virtuosity and The Difference feature a non-stop, fluff free stream of GOLDEN content....and TONS of it. In fact, if you go through both programs completely and aren't OBVIOUSLY better with women, I'll cheerfully give you 100% of your money back. And for what it's worth, if that's the case you'd probably better go check and see if you can still fog a mirror. Seriously, I think even my grandmother could get better with women after listening to these two epic programs. And she's heterosexual. Why not wake up your dating life when you wake up in the morning? Why not make that long drive through Nebraska a TON more interesting? Here's how: www.deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity No coupon code is necessary. Simply order Virtuosity and I'll send you full access to The Difference along with it. But make sure you get in on this before Thursday night at midnight Texas Time (GMT -5). That's when the doors close. ===== LETTER FROM A READER Hey Scot, Hope this finds you well. A quick update on things out here. Well I'd been seeing this gal I was rather fond of but made some tactical errors along the way. I'm in a bit of a funk right now, so bear with me. But I'm working thru the take away points in the spirit of self-improvement. I now see first hand why you've been teaching me to take it slow with a wait and see approach. As I permitted myself to be locked down by a certain woman, I lost all leadership status and spent the last two months being emotionally blackmailed by her. This has been pure misery and underscores the importance of having dating options and not getting rid of those options because a woman you're seeing wants to be exclusive. Furthermore, I learned a valuable lesson in being aware of any incongruencies. For example, although we were supposed up be in an exclusive relationship, she didn't behave in a way that I would expect a committed woman would. Such as staying the night with me and then lying in bed with me the next morning texting her guy friend co-worker about dinner plans...this really upset me but I didn't say anything as I didn't want to appear controlling. I retrospect this is a violation of what you call The Golden Rule In Reverse, or TGR-R. This gal would say the most endearing things when we're together but then needed her space and when I tried to make plans with her she would throw out the controlling card and say she's done...only to come back for sex and start the whole cycle again. She would say she adores me, loves spending time with me, can't wait to see me etc., but dare I mention getting together more than a couple times a week or question this so called friend she would have a melt down. Any advice/thoughts would be helpful and much appreciated. Cheers, Mark (Las Cruces, NM) ===== Hello Mark and thanks for writing. As you might have guessed, you've touched upon a phenomenon that affects TONS of guys, yet one I don't remember discussing recently at all. So it's time to...right here and now. To begin with, I suppose one really does have to have some time to put all of the theory we learn along the way into practice in order to see it in motion and really experience the ramifications of it all first-hand. So ultimately, it's all part of the process--even if it rather painfully brings up the need for fine-tuning. I would agree 100% with each of the observations you made. The good news there is that you've absorbed the experiences and already have turned them into wisdom for the future. One angle I would add is that this woman really appears to be a controlling type herself, having locked you down into exclusivity quickly only to flaunt it before your very eyes. A very common modus operandi for such people (men or women) is to accuse the other partner of what they themselves are clearly doing, sort of as a pre-emptive strike. It's all kind of reminiscent of a school kid saying, I know you are, but what am I? whenever a peer calls him names. (On a less humorous note, it's also a device used by those who suffer from certain serious mental illnesses. Talk about danger signs...) Anyway, assuming the other partner remains passive and chooses to avoid conflict, that effectively takes the issue off the table for discussion...indefinitely, if not forever. As such, with the fear of being perceived as a controller firmly instilled in his or her partner, the manipulator (her in this case) can freely, well, control. Before you even realize what hit you, you've been had...yet you somehow stick around anyway, thinking YOU'RE the problem. Obviously, any chance of a mutually beneficial long-term relationship there is COOKED. In the future, the way to mitigate against this is by having options and limiting your personal emotional investment up front. I talk often about how it's unethical to keep women in your life who are falling in love with you when you already know that you have no long-term intentions. Mostly that's because such women become VERY vulnerable to manipulation--often to the point of openly and readily expecting it and even gladly enduring it. Now you know first hand that this phenomenon is not gender-specific. So then, how would a man who's a chooser rather than a chaser handle all of this? Well, for starters you wouldn't have agreed to exclusivity so soon. And even if you had, you would have pulled the plug on that arrangement as soon as it was apparent the design was expressly to keep YOU under control. Similarly, at the first sign of gross violation of the exclusivity pact, you would have simply informed her that it was no longer in effect. Period, end of story. Only fear of loss causes one's thoughts to turn to how the relationship can be salvaged in that case. But perhaps ironically, literally (but tactfully) kicking her out of bed and inviting her to get the hell out would have been the single best way to re-assert masculine control over the situation. That would have served notice that you can't be walked all over like a carpet. See, the more one passively accepts what's going on, the WORSE the problem will get--even as she respects the guy less and less. It's ye olde pushing of the envelope. Finally, I would add that this particular woman's pattern of calendar management is the hallmark of a player...and yes, those absolutely do come in the female variety. The schedule of your time together was under her control because a) you let it be, and b) because she had other guys to fit into it. Again, in that context she was able to keep you faithful to her because you didn't want to come off as a controller, along with the simple fact that you had greater emotional investment in the relationship than she did. This is the perfect storm for harem creation, regardless of the gender of the harem builder. And now, here is the breathtaking irony of it all. Assuming that you would have been okay with continuation of a casual relationship with this chick (and I admit that's perhaps an incorrect assumption), you would have doubtlessly been MORE successful with her had you boldly moved to show her you were more than willing to excuse HER from your life before ever excusing her unacceptable behavior. For example, had you kicked her out of bed without any drama and/or any need to elaborate upon what should be a clear reason why, my edumckayted guess is that she would have come back to you later with profuse apologies. To be sure, that's not exactly the healthiest way to conduct a male/female friendship regardless, but you can see how the dynamic would have been different nonetheless. Whoever is chasing is not in control of his OR her dating life. And regardless of what you may have read in marketing copy elsewhere, getting women to chase you is a dysfunctional arrangement in its own right. In a healthy relationship BOTH partners are choosers, and both partners are equally grateful for having been chosen by the other. Everyone's personal power is dignified, and naturally everyone's choice is respected. Before closing, there are a few other points regarding this particular woman that I'd be remiss if I didn't address. For starters, as I see it any woman who violates TGR-R is skating on thin ice from the very first infraction. But to be so flaky as to tell you she's done after you've filed very reasonable grievances is even more troubling. And to sweep it all under the carpet (and expect carte blanche acceptance from you) the next time she's horny is the epitome of a red flag, if you ask me. Add it all up, and the longer it all goes on the less you're being respected...by either her OR yourself. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. Looking at my newsletter calendar, I've got some pretty heavy stuff coming up for you, so definitely stay tuned... ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] How To Get Out Of The "Second Tier"

Mon, 14 May 2012 18:50:41 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== WHAT'S INSIDE: Do women treat guys differently when they're only sort of attracted to them? You bet they do... ===== THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT LATINAS And it's something HOT. We all know it, and we all LOVE them for it. But they'll confuse you to no end if you have no idea what's going on in their heads, won't they? Let's face it, if you want to meet and date beautiful Latina women (like I sure did) you've got to know how to relate to them. They're flat-out different...in a wild and wonderful way. But if you don't get them, you're not ever going to get them. I think you know what I mean. Now, I'm sure you've seen an article here and there on how to attract Latinas. But finally there's MUCH MORE on the subject...and it's from the guy who's probably more qualified than anyone on Earth to teach it: http://www.scotrecommends.com/esteban Meet none other than Esteban Lara. He's from South America and he knows just about everything there is to know about how to succeed with Latina women. After all, he's the world's foremost Spanish-speaking dating coach. But here's a secret: Esteban has actually lived in the United States also for a while, so he's also uniquely qualified to teach YOU how to meet and date Latinas...even if (in fact, especially if) you're NOT from a Spanish-speaking culture. Check out Esteban's free report called 8 Differences Between Latinas And Women From Other Cultures by clicking on this link: http://www.scotrecommends.com/esteban Now, after literally months of tweaking, Esteban has finally released a complete program of his very best material in ENGLISH. So while you're visiting his site be sure to grab a (bargain priced) copy of it. It's called Seducing Latin Women. There's no fuss and no hype here, guys: http://www.scotrecommends.com/esteban If you're like me and you appreciate how ridiculously sexy Latinas are, then Esteban is THE guy to learn all the secrets from. ===== ARE YOU IN THE SECOND TIER? (IF SO, IT'S TIME TO MOVE UP) There are quite a few guys out there who have a common opinion about particularly beautiful, desirable women. Basically, they've decided that every one of them has a lousy personality. They're cold and distant at best, or downright gnarly at worst. On top of all else, such guys may even have pronounced the entire lot of beautiful, sexy women out there as perpetually (and terminally) flaky. It just seems like every time you set up a date with one, they cancel out on you at the eleventh hour. Frustrating stuff, for sure. But as for any other scenario in our lives where everyone else seems to act, seem or be a certain way there's a particular truth that applies. It's not always so nice to hear, but knowing it can change your life for the better. That truth is this: Whenever there is a clear pattern to how you are being treated by others, you've got to look in the mirror. And show me a man who believes that all beautiful women are cold, distant, gnarly or flaky; and I'll show you a guy who is stuck in the second tier. The good news is that being in the second tier beats being flat-out undesirable to women, and therefore never even getting a date...by a long shot. But it's still a bummer to be there, no doubt. So what's the second tier? It's actually very simple. Despite what you may have always assumed about women either deciding to go out with a guy or not when he asks her out, sometimes they're really on the fence about it. Granted, if women are invariably uninterested in hanging out with you--and are rude about it--you absolutely, positively have some soul-searching to do. There's a certain way you're LEADING all those women to treat you. But what if she actually agrees to go out with you, but isn't exactly Princess Charming in the process? And what if women ALL seem to flake out on you at the last minute? Well, here's what's probably going on...and the cure for it. She probably finds you attractive enough to be potentially interesting. She may even legitimately WANT to hang out with you. BUT...you might not have made her feel completely comfortable in your presence yet. Comfortable enough to risk hanging out with you, yes...but not enough for her to completely open up to you. OR...you may not have demonstrated enough masculinity, confidence and/or character for her to place you atop what may be a considerable list of options available to her. Remember always: He OR she who has options in his or her dating life is a chooser rather than a chaser. Now granted, character is going to be a high priority to a woman of considerable quality, and that takes some time for her to gauge. It doesn't have to take FOREVER though, and here's a hint: The first order of business on YOUR side is to demonstrate that you're looking for the same. And you do that by being a chooser yourself. You reserve your own right to evaluate, and therefore to choose. No matter what, though...whether you are right there with her in evaluation mode or busy trying to escalate by being a chaser, if you're in the second tier what she's doing is her own version of what I call charm throttling. You'll recall that charm throttling is essentially the concept of holding back some of the shock and awe of your most attractive self...mostly because women have a tendency to fall for you more quickly than you're willing to make a firm decision about whether to go exclusive with them or not. Bingo. Highly desirable women have the same problem...often on steroids. These are NOT women who are upset because their boyfriends hang out for two or three years and still won't put a ring on their finger. Rather, these are women who typically can't get past the SECOND DATE without a guy professing his undying love and devotion to her. That gets a little monotonous, and it certainly doesn't leave any time for her to find out much about the guy before things get out of hand on his side. So here's the shocking part: These VERY same women who you may observe to be cold, emotionless or dare I say even disinterested may actually be FANTASTIC women underneath the charm throttled exterior. And how about the women I affectionately refer to as poker faces? You know...the ones who just give you NO SIGNALS at all? Often times, what I'm describing here is EXACTLY what's going on with them also. Now here's an interesting twist. I find that younger women often haven't really figured out how to deal with guys they've placed in the second tier as well as more mature women. A younger woman is more likely to play games as a way of showing that she isn't really sold on a guy just yet. She knows she needs to keep guys she's evaluating at arm's length, so to speak, but her toolkit is generally limited to turning off the charm COMPLETELY, canceling dates and/or even being a little bit snippy or impatient. Meanwhile, women who have a bit more life experience tend to be a bit friendlier about putting guys in the second tier and have long since found ways to keep guys there without sacrificing their own character so much. For example, women who have experienced motherhood have this uncanny way of playing more of the mom persona than the lover persona when around guys they are undecided about. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But it's true. If you find yourself on a date with a woman who still seems to be in mommy mode rather than milf mode, remember this article. You'll know it when you see it. She's feminine, for sure, but somehow kind of sexless in an odd yet still mildly intriguing sort of way. An even better description would be that she acts FEMALE, but holds that part of femininity that's directly responsible for IGNITING MASCULINITY in reserve. Well, at least she didn't flake on you. You have in your favor...I guess. So enough, already...how do you get out of the second tier and take your rightful place at the TOP? First of all, you've GOT to stop focusing on trying to get what you want all the time. Women who find you confident and masculine in that Big Four way are STILL going to relegate you to the second tier if you come off like a pushy salesman who is trying to get some. If, on the other hand, you represent to her what she wants in a man she'd LOVE a relationship with, you'll bypass all of the artificial obstacles FAR more quickly. Remember also that how effective you are at making a woman feel safe and comfortable with you has EVERYTHING to do with how compelled she's going to be to charm throttle you. The better you are at understanding a woman's best interests and communicating to her that you get it, the better off you'll be at avoiding the second tier...always. But be careful here. When a highly desirable woman bumps you up to the first tier, that's usually serious business. That's reserved for an elite few. She may waste no time in falling for YOU quickly. That, however, is what I'd call a high quality problem. Two footnotes here in closing. First, it's indeed VERY TRUE that even though a woman may have put you in the second tier she could still have EITHER a black heart OR a heart of gold under there. So make no mistake about it. If a woman's holding back on you, that's when you ESPECIALLY shouldn't be shelling out for expensive dinners at Ruth's Chris or taking her on shopping dates. (Not that there's EVER a good excuse to take a woman on a shopping date. Please...) Second, don't ever confuse her willingness to have sex with you as having been moved up into the first tier. That often is utterly beside the point. Some women are all about having their sexual needs met, and your sexual attractiveness might be all it takes for her to indulge. But she still might not be all that crazy about the idea of keeping you around long-term. And that means she's not exactly ready for you to fall in love with her. So having read this, you may or may not even be INTERESTED in ascending to the first tier with women after all, right? Sometimes it may actually be to YOUR advantage for women to take their time with you even as you take your time with them. But my gut instinct is that I'd rather be the one with my hand on the charm throttle. And I NEVER think it's a good idea to be kicked to the second tier for the reason of having come off as a pushy salesperson or seeming potentially dangerous in some way. But how you proceed with regard to the rest of what we've covered here is your call. At least you now know WHY desirable women tend to do what they do. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. Have you joined in the fun at the X and Y Communications Facebook Page? Grab a special report called Reconnecting With Women From The Past On Facebook when you click the Like button: http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily (And what's not to like about a line of Cambodian dancing girls?) ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] What Is "The Recurring Nightmare"? [Video Newsletter]

Sun, 13 May 2012 17:04:22 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== IN THIS EDITION: Failure To Deploy doesn't only happen to us when it's time to approach a woman. It's like it keeps coming back to haunt us again and again...every step of the way. ===== THE RECURRING NIGHTMARE Here's a quick (and all new) video newsletter for you: http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/nightmare As I'm sure you know, when you realize you've failed to deploy with a woman it feels a lot like you've just been kicked in the groin. In other words, pain is not descriptive enough a word to describe it. It's bad enough when you see a great woman from afar and fear of rejection keeps you from approaching her. But sheesh, dude...do we really have to keep beating ourselves up every step of the way? Here's what I mean: http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/nightmare Looking back on the past, I know I can relate. What's up with us, guys? Sometimes you'd think we were our own worst enemy when it comes to succeeding with women. After all, the ladies are left wondering what happened every single time the recurring nightmare happens... Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. If after seeing this video you're ready to wake up from The Recurring Nightmare, then I've created a special promo that will do the heavy lifting for you. For the next 48 hours you can score The Man's Approach for HALF PRICE when you enter the code wakeup50 on the order page and hit recalculate: http://www.themansapproach.com/subscribers From now on beat approach anxiety into submission, be on-point with EXACTLY what to say to any woman, create instant and LASTING attraction and--best of all--never again cough up a lung it's time to get her number. It's all there....the complete fix for failure to deploy, all in one neat 50% off package. ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] Are You Driving Like A "Grandma"? <-- Yeah, I'm Talkin' To YOU

Thu, 10 May 2012 17:10:30 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== ARE YOU DRIVING LIKE A GRANDMA? <-- We're Talking About LIFE Here... By now, you instinctively know that women are drawn to a man who's living the dream like kitties are drawn to catnip. Women are BORED and can't resist a man who brings the promise of excitement. And when you're passionate enough to have real, live AMBITION coursing through your veins her attraction is even more powerful. Yeah, you can DO THIS...whether you think so right now or not. After all, as a man you were born to ACHIEVE...but first you have to BELIEVE. So how about it. Can you make sense of that? Do you AGREE? Or do I actually believe in you more than you even believe in YOURSELF? Can you thrust aside mediocrity--and possibly even your prolonged apathy toward it--and finally DO something to affirm your decision to finally LIVE rather than simply...existing? If you can answer that with a resounding YES, then I've got someone who you really, really need to meet. Brendon Burchard has spent 15 years studying the most high- performing achievers in the world, and he became a multi- millionaire himself following some genius strategies that he's developed. Well, right now he's opened limited enrollment to his High Performance Academy Master's Course and Coaching Program. I highly recommend it, and if you've ever seen Brendon's Experts Academy or anything else he's world famous for you already know why: http://www.scotrecommends.com/highperformance Personally, I can tell you that one of the coolest things I've ever done was go to high-performance driving school. You know, the kind for race car drivers. But THIS is a step beyond--this is high-performance driving school for life itself. If that doesn't motivate and excite you, what in the world will? http://www.scotrecommends.com/highperformance This high-performance stuff is the SECRET to your personal achievement, success and fulfillment in life--at the office, in your social circle, on the playing field and DEFINITELY with the ladies. After all, if you can't master your mind, create unstoppable physical energy, outperform everyone around you through flawless productivity and influence others like a world-class leader then you are... well, STUCK. Worse, you'll continue to be at the whim of OTHER people. And they'll NEVER, EVER make better decisions on your behalf than YOU can. Brendon says, There are only two things that will change your life: either something new has to come INTO IT, or something new comes OUT of YOU. The elegant beauty of High Performance Academy is that it focuses on both. This is entirely new and advanced training unlike anything you've seen before to help you get the best out of yourself. Mastering your internal world, while simultaneously mastering your ability to influence the outer/social world. THAT'S what this program is all about. The nearly $3,000 in bonus training Brendon is offering is incredible too...and I could go on and on about that. But enough already. See it all for yourself and hear about it in Brendon's own words here: http://www.scotrecommends.com/highperformance Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. As always, I've got a KILLER bonus for you if you get in on Brendon's High Performance Academy using a link on this page. Just e-mail me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com after you score your spot and I'll send you BOTH The Master Plan and The Difference. Those are clearly the two programs of mine that will enhance your High Performance Academy experience like none other, so they're my personal gift to you. Enjoy! ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] Is The "Grass Greener"? Ask Yourself These 3 Questions...

Mon, 07 May 2012 17:05:11 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== WHAT'S INSIDE: You have a steady girlfriend and are even thinking about marrying her. What should your reaction to various other women in your life be like...especially if they're particularly attractive? Even if you're not dating anyone at the moment, it's still VERY wise to arm yourself with the information that follows... ===== THE ULTIMATE 2-FOR-1 FOR GUYS WHO ARE SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING BETTER WITH WOMEN If you've been reading these newsletters for a while and getting a ton from 'em, I've got a particularly cool 2-for-1 for you today. Right now, when you get The Leading Man I'll give you The Master Plan absolutely free: http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers Those are my two most popular programs...and for good reason. The Master Plan provides the cornerstone for being the "big four" man who effortlessly attracts the highest quality women on Earth, No more trying to "impress" them...no more feeling like you've got to somehow talk them into going out with you. It's all about being a man who sexy, desirable women actually WANT. If that sounds completely reasonable and logical, that's because it IS...go figure. No tricks, no "smoke and mirrors". The Master Plan unleashes your potential to be the "Real Deal"...and it's an amazing feeling to be that guy. And The Leading Man? Well, the immense value of THAT program if found in how it enables you to not only IDENTIFY who the great women really are, but KEEP them in your life for as long as you like: http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers As powerful as the two programs are individually, the combo of The Leading Man and The Master Plan is exponentially more so. The chance to score them both for the price of one doesn't come around often, so be sure to act before midnight CDT (GMT -5) Wednesday night when the doors close. By the way, there's no coupon code or anything this time around. Just order The Leading Man and I'll send you The Master Plan to go with it. No sweat, no strain. Now, let's hear from Tanner in Chicago, who's got a real dilemma on his hands... ===== QUESTION FROM A READER Scot, I need to ask you a question. I am in a VERY happy relationship. I am going to get engaged very soon. But in my day-to-day encounters I do work with or interact with attractive and cool women. Since I work in a large group, there are some people at my workplace that I don't see on a daily basis but enough to have regular conversations. I have an ongoing dilemma on how to deal with particular women at work. Take for example a girl named Christina I work with. She is super cool and very attractive. But if I continue to interact with her, inevitably I will end up wanting to get to know her more, get a big crush on her, and maybe even starting thinking, Man, the grass might be greener here. Maybe this is just a man's tendency to want variety. As I said, I love my girlfriend dearly, so it's not secondary to unhappiness with my girlfriend. So I can pursue a stronger friendship / more interaction with Christina at work, because I am physically and personality wise attracted to her...but at risk of torturing myself since I will fall for her but not do anything about it (the ultimate masochism). Or worst-case scenario I'll fall for her so hard that I compromise my relationship with my girlfriend. This Christina girl is just one example....as there have been many Christinas in the past who I usually end up AVOIDING so as to not create drama in my life. What do you think? Tanner (Chicago, IL) ===== Thanks for the great e-mail, Tanner. So why is it that women named Christina always seem to be hotties? Here's the cold hard fact of the matter: If you are still gazing at greener pastures, you're either not ready to get married because there is more left to be done in your dating life, or you've got more deep-thinking ahead first, or because you *could* be settling. I hear you telling me that you have a great relationship with a woman who you intend to marry, and that you couldn't be happier. And I greatly admire your discipline with regard to not wanting to compromise that relationship in any way. Big ups for that. But your genuine concern over the possibility of being drawn away by another woman concerns me as much as it does you. Taking your message to me at face value, I'm pretty sure that if you were able to make the Christinas of the world a non-issue, then you would be an even happier man than you may now even realize is possible. Some will be quick to say this is an unrealistic explanation. But much like, you can never understand women, such is the battle cry of those who SETTLE. When you've met the one who wins your heart forever, other women will melt into the background insofar as any real desire for romantic involvement is concerned. Hang with me here and I'll show you what I mean by that. This does NOT mean that no other women are ever going to be attractive or endearing to you ever again. And you *can* acquire the skill set of enjoying femininity without requiring sexual fulfillment to come from it, by the way. (And that is REALLY COOL, opening the doors wide-open to greatly enhanced day-to-day interactions.) What it DOES mean is that you never, ever second-guess the decision you made to be with one woman because you always keep the perspective of having been through the dating process and having made your decision from a position of ABSOLUTE STRENGTH and a WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE. The greatest woman you've ever met--your 100 out of 100--will literally compel you to cut ties with the other women you've been seeing until then. No kidding, man. I wouldn't have believed it myself seven years ago. And there's no compromise when that happens. No giving away your manhood, sacrificing your freedom or anything negative at all, really. It will have been YOUR decision...and a GOOD one. And you'll be able to tuck away that definitive notion for safe keeping over the long-haul, no matter how many hotties catch your eye over the years to come. I have to be honest with you here though, Tanner. My first thought after reading your message was that if you REALLY believe Christina might possibly be the kind of woman who could be better for you than your current girlfriend, then perhaps you haven't raised the bar high enough just yet as far as the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with successfully. If that doesn't resonate with you, and you are indeed firmly convinced that your current girlfriend is the greatest woman you've ever met, then so be it. Nonetheless, If you ARE second guessing yourself on the possibility of being sexually drawn to other women such that it would compromise your current relationship, it's time to ask yourself some hard questions. These would include: 1) Are you comparing your girlfriend to someone you don't know as well? This is always a loser of an idea. There's too much opportunity for idealism there. I can't tell you how many guys blow a long-term relationship for a fling with a new chick only to wonder what they've done when she quickly falls short of expectations as he gets to know her better. 2) Have you really dated enough women to know EXACTLY who you're looking for? Your girlfriend MAY BE the greatest woman in the world for you. But unless you have a firm grasp of what you want, you'll never really know if you've found it. 3) Is it YOUR DECISION to get married? Do you WANT to get married, or do you simply fear losing a great woman? Are you DONE dating, or does the timing feel a bit premature? Please know that you may indeed be able to resolve all of these questions VERY successfully vis-à-vis your current relationship. If so, I imagine your resolve will be rock-solid going forward. If not, you may be frustrated now (as may she), but take it from the guy who has been in front of a judge before and paid the divorce lawyer richly for my trouble. It's like the old Fram Oil Filter commercial: You can pay now, or you can pay later. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. Did you get your hands on the latest episode of The Chick Whisperer podcast yet? It's called "Supercharge Your Social Life" and it's here on iTunes: The TCW Podcast On iTunes ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.

[X&Y] Supercharge Your Social Life [New TCW Podcast]

Sun, 06 May 2012 17:05:25 -0400

X and Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN ===== NEW EPISODE #51 -- THE CHICK WHISPERER PODCAST Get It On iTunes Regular RSS Feed ===== THE CHICK WHISPERER #51: Supercharge Your Social Life Who knows how we've gone 50 shows without ever talking about how to build up your social circle...but better late than never, huh? Actually, the REAL story is that it took that long to come up with a co-host who was the right guy for the job. To say I finally found him would be an understatement. I introduced you to Greg Greenway of Social Circle Training lastmonth, and your response left no doubt in my mind that you wanted more. So I managed to wrangle an hour out of his tight schedule of hanging out with models, flying around on private jets and attending international film festivals...and the end result is TCW #51. Here's the link to it on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-chick-whisperer-listen/id218155493 As always, if iTunes isn't your gig then you can get the show via the regular RSS feed instead: http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer So what can you expect from this 52-minute audio journey? Well, in addition to dropping some seriously brilliant tips on how to access literally any social circle you'd like to be a part of, Greg helps me answer a voice mail sent by Jake from College...who's dealing with the recent revelation that his current girlfriend is a bit more, um...experienced than he'd ever realized. There are definitely some surprises in store there so get your hands on this show while it's hot, gentlemen. And if all of this talk about hanging out with the cool kids finally motivates you to go out and start living the dream for yourself, then take a solid look at this from Greg: http://www.thechickwhisperer.com/greg The dude is for real. By the way, YES...the TCW podcast is still a 100% free download so be sure to subscribe. That way you get future episodes automatically--up to a full day ahead of everyone else. Be Good, Scot McKay P.S. If you dig the show, please leave a review on iTunes. I'll send you all nine retired TCW episodes when you do. That's a $27 value. After you write your review, just e-mail me at: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com ...and let me know. That way I'll know who to send the goodies to. Thanks a million. ===== (c) X and Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved. This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X and Y Communications. It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the link at the bottom of this e-mail and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list. No games doesn't only apply to dating around here.