[X&Y] The "Desperate Test"
Published: Thu, 06/06/19
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IN THIS EDITION: Is there really a yardstick you can use to
quickly and effectively measure how desperate you are?=====
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Regardless of which option is right for you, I invite you to write
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Coaching program as well.
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looking for consistent fine-tuning of their skills or how to handle
specific situations as they come up:
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THE "DESPERATE TEST"
A while back I had the pleasure of hanging out with some of my good
friends and making several new ones at a "mastermind" meeting for
those of us in the dating/relationship advice field.
For better or worse, this particular meeting took place in Vega$,
which naturally involved flying on Southwest Airlines to get there
since I live in San Antonio.
I'm not the biggest fan of flying SWA. The airline itself is fine,
it's just that they have "first come, first served" seating and I
have a weird penchant for being the last guy to get on the plane.
This most recent flight was no exception. And it was a full flight.
As it turns out the very last open seat was a middle one, of course,
next to a rather attractive young blond woman. (I know....what are
the chances, right?)
I sat down and opened my Kindle, minding my own business.
Sure enough, Blondie shifted her hips a bit in her seat and started
making conversation.
I don't remember what she said to get my attention, but it was
innocuous enough.
Being a social person, I was happy to talk to her. She wasn't
exactly my type and I'm happily married anyway, of course. But
there was no denying that most guys would find her attractive.
She had very pretty green eyes and perfect teeth.
Seconds later we were talking about Las Vegas.
And within minutes she had brought up the pros and cons of "drunk
sex", whether or not her natural boobies were better than fake ones
and...wait for it...how much of a jerk her boyfriend is.
As much as some of you guys out there might not want to believe
this, I solemnly promise that I did nothing in particular to influence
what was being talked about, beyond being the "big four" guy I've
worked to become over the course of time.
Also, importantly, whatever she brought up didn't unsettle me. I
simply conversed with her matter-of-factly.
Far too many guys greatly underestimate the power of remaining
unfazed when a woman talks to them at all, let alone when she
brings up sex.
Meanwhile, the guy sitting in the aisle seat on the other side of me
was getting more and more worked up. It was obvious he had
overheard everything.
As such, when Blondie finally reached for her purse and announced
she wanted get a rum and coke, the guy out of nowhere blurted out,
"No...I got it!" and hit the call button.
You've got to be kidding me. In my mind I rolled my eyes This guy
wasn't even in the conversation, and yet he was pulling the "Mr.
Nice Guy" routine.
Sure enough, he bought her the drink. She smiled and said, "thank
you" to him.
Then she continued to talk to me. The conversation turned to world
travel, which is typically one of my favorite topics.
However, the next thing I knew, Blondie was giving me the details of
an emergency root canal she got in Spain. Then it was on to chatting
about terminal cancer.
Suddenly I realized that the flight couldn't be over soon enough.
I did what I could do to make the pain stop in as diplomatic a way
as possible.
"You know, I have to say...I admire your courage in talking to a
complete stranger about root canals and cancer on a scheduled flight.
Most people probably wouldn't do that. Know what I mean?"
Let's just say she didn't get the hint. Instead she ordered a few more
drinks and was starting to get drunk and disorderly.
Somehow I felt for her "jerk" of a boyfriend and what he was up
against.
Mercifully, the plane landed at McCarran. I made it a point to get
on the phone and stay on it as we deplaned.
We all herded our way to the luggage claim area. As I grabbed
my bag, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the guy who had
sat next to me on the plane was now attempting to chat Blondie up.
It clearly wasn't going well, as she stared out into space blankly
even as he tried to keep her attention.
So why am I telling you this?
Well, right now there are two different types of guys reading this
newsletter.
The first is going, "What? Are you kidding me? How could you
possibly have wanted that flight to be over if you were sitting
next to a hot blond girl? Of course that other guy was talking to
her at the baggage claim because YOU didn't!"
The second is going, "No kidding, dude. Sitting next to her must
have been about as exciting as watching paint dry."
Which guy are you?
Answer carefully because that's the "Desperation Test" I alluded to
in the subject line.
Like it or not, guys with options can readily excuse themselves
from even the hottest, sexiest women when they're not exactly
all that interesting otherwise. That's because there will soon be
others right behind them who will prove to be a better choice.
Meanwhile, guys with fewer options pretty much feel as if they've
hit the jackpot ANY time a reasonably pretty girl talks to them--and
all the more if she brings up sex.
I ask you again. Which guy are you?
The irony is that the more you believe you have options, the more
options you actually tend to have.
Meanwhile, the more desperate you are, the more women tend to
sense that and say, "thanks...but no thanks."
Can you believe that your mindset matters THAT much? And more
importantly, can you believe that you have TOTAL control over that
mindset?
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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