[X&Y] Cringe
Published: Sun, 08/25/19
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IN THIS EDITION: Want more insight into what women really want?
You got it.
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THIS IS CRINGEWORTHY (BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS IT CLEARLY
SHOWS WHAT WOMEN WANT)
OK guys, as you know I often print a question from a reader and
answer it for you.
This time I'm sharing a letter with you from a woman who didn't
have any questions, really.
But in her female opinion the truth I teach in The Master Plan
is so right on that she had to share her experiences regarding a
bad date she went on recently.
Before you venture onward, I want to prepare you for something.
This might not be the easiest read.
In fact, some of it may make you cringe.
But it's worth it.
You may even find yourself getting mad at the woman writing the
letter.
But believe me, if her story is anything close to accurate, it was
HIM, not HER.
Sure, you could easily say that if the guy cared more about this
date he would have shown more initiative, but given the train of
events I doubt that was the issue.
If you pay very careful attention to Denise's words, you'll find
that she did everything she could to give this guy a chance.
Ultimately though, as you're about to see, if you don't have the
"big four" going on you tend to get perplexed when women
ultimately say "thanks but no thanks"...
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Dear Scot,
You are awesome and I often pass your websites along to guys I
meet who seem to be in wanton need of your common-sense advice.
I LOVE IT!
I had such a nauseating experience last week I feel compelled to
share with someone who will "get" my reaction.
I accepted a 2nd date from a guy.
He seemed to be a good guy, a bit more reserved than I prefer, but
hey, he had the guts to actually ask me out so I figured I'd give
him a chance to "shine" on perhaps more comfortable ground, i.e
something he would like to do on a date.
He called a few days later, last Monday, asked me out for the
weekend. We arranged Friday. Said he would e-mail me the details in
the next few days. 'm impressed he's going to come up with a plan!
No word all week long. Calls me midday on Friday, leaves this
message on my cell:
"Sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, I hope you are still
available tonight. I couldn't really find anything going on so I
thought maybe we could just meet and maybe wander around and find
something."
Gee, now there's an offer I can't refuse!
Me--perplexed--this is Seattle, for crying out loud. There's music
all over the place! And, it's friggin' summertime and he's "inviting"
me to "wander around until we find something"???
At this point, all my initial impressions of him were confirmed
(aka, not "on top of his game") and I am now regretting having
accepted this date.
However, I'm not one to back out once I have accepted, except for
emergencies or hints there might be danger ahead, so I decided to
hang in there just for this one date and see how the rest of the
eve plays out.
I couldn't return his call till the end of my work day at 5 pm. He
still didn't have a plan. I fed him information because he
obviously needs some direction.
I tell him the weekend "what's happening" is released by the paper
on Thursday so he could look at it online. I even tell him exactly
the web address.
He wants to know where we should meet. (I thought he asked me
out?) We agree to meet outside of a certain restaurant (because he
knew where that was).
I told him there was a parking garage right there so he wouldn't
have to park six blocks away. He said he would Google the directions
to the parking garage--great initiative!
We talk at 8:20, both late, me 5 min, him 15. No big deal. He asks
me again for directions to the parking garage (guess Google wasn't
helpful).
We determine he's roughly 10-15 minutes away including time to
park, etc. I arrive at our meeting spot. After 20 minutes of
waiting I call to check (at this point I am skeptical he is going
to be able to find the place...again).
Sure enough, he has parked 6 blocks away and is walking, but didn't
know which direction he was walking--true story!
I get him set on the right track and 5 minutes later I call him
from the street corner where I had walked to so he could find me
(and yes, I told him I was there).
Eventually, we meet up, but this entire direction-location-finding
thing took until 9 pm and I am ready to go home.
And he still has no plan.
I guess he didn't take advantage of my invite to look online, so I
suggest a wine bar that is around the corner as a starter. We
arrive, actually get 2 front and center seats at the bar, waiter
brings a list.
We chat long enough to settle in. After 10 minutes the waiter hasn't
come back to ask us if we are ready to order despite our having put
the menus down. It seemed we were waiting an inordinate amount of
time for the bartender.
I wanted to jump up and say "excuse me we are ready" but, I
wanted to give this guy a chance to do his man thing and take care
of this.
He didn't. We waited more than 20 minutes, sitting right at the
bar, in full view of bartenders who were mixing everyone else's
drinks right in front of us.
I wondered how long the bartenders were going to allow us to sit
there and drink water. In the meantime, while my date is talking
away, I conceded and thought, "okay, I'm just going to drink water
all night."
Then, finally coming to the realization that he really had no clue
that he should have gotten the waiter's attention on our behalf, I
took the initiative and gave the proverbial smile and nod to the
waiter. Drinks arrive. Yea...progress!
We continue to visit, (he talked mostly, I listened )...no
connection. He doesn't get it. I'm not surprised. We stay roughly
1.5 hours. He wants to go find some music.
I declined. It's late, I have to go check on my geriatric dog (16.5
yr. old husky) who had been having a bad week.
As he walks me back to the parking garage and comments on how
"easy" the evening was, believe it or not he asked me if I would
like to go out again.
Me--aghast at the thought! I wanted to scream, "What......t?
Because we had such a great time tonight?????"
I shook his hand. Said thank you for the evening and graciously
declined. Left him standing at the top of the escalator looking
perplexed.
THE END.
Denise (Seattle, WA)
P.S. BTW- one tidbit I left out. When I called him while on my
way to tell him I was running a few minutes late, as soon as I
said, "Hi this is..." he immediately jumped in with "are you
calling to cancel?"
That should have been my "stop sign"!
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Now to this guy's credit, he DID pick up the phone instead of
texting. And he DID have the presence of mind to walk her to the
parking garage after the wine bar.
But the rest was a disaster.
Can you really blame Denise for being frustrated? Sure she used
some up-front language to describe what happened, but hey...she
tried.
She TRIED.
She shouldn't have HAD to TRY to get her date to act like a man.
Masculinity, confidence, character (doing what you say you're going
to do, for example) and inspiring a woman's confidence. Without
the "big four" (let alone ZERO of the "big four"), you too could be
left perplexed at the end of dates.
Don't do that.
Avoiding just one more date that's anything even remotely close to
the one above should be all of the encouragement you need to check
out The Master Plan.
After all, it's called The Master Plan for a reason.
It's your complete road map for being the top-shelf version of
your authentic, real self who doesn't get left alone at the top of
parking garage escalators:
Never Suffer Through A Bad Date Ever Again
The coupon code "masterplan50" has been activated for the next
48 hours only.
You won't see any mention of it on the web page, but it's
automatically applied at checkout for you. You get a full 50%
off.
Seriously, if you have a gut feeling that you've sometimes
dropped the ball on having a plan when in the company of a woman
--and it didn't end well for you--then The Master Plan will be the
best investment you've ever made:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/masterplan/subscribers
I almost never run a 50% off promo for The Master Plan, so this
is your best chance to get a copy.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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