[X&Y] You're Impressive. So Why Isn't She Impressed?

Published: Tue, 01/14/20



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IN THIS EDITION:  It's important that a woman is duly impressed
by you.  How you go about making sure that happens will make or
break your success with her.

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WHY SHE ISN'T IMPRESSED


Have you ever noticed there are certain things that never get
us anywhere with women, yet guys still do them ALL the time?

A major one is going overboard trying to "impress" women.

Simply put, most guys try too hard.  Women can see through
that every time, and they practically smell the desperation.

Meanwhile, the minority of men who are skilled with women know
better.

They focus on the woman they're with rather than themselves,
finding out potentially valuable information about what she's
like, storing it all away in the moment and leveraging it much
later...precisely when they're most likely to come off like a mind-
reading magician.

That's one way to legitimately amaze women.  But most men
lack the necessary patience and maturity to pull it off.

Guys with less experience try to overwhelm a woman as soon
as possible with some twisted, self-absorbed, approval seeking
version of blatant "shock and awe" rather than piling on subtle
indications of awesomeness over time.

Take online dating, for example.  We've all seen some allegedly
rich guy posing in pictures with all his cool stuff.

Then, in the narrative he mentions the prestigious university he
graduated from at least six times.

Going further, he brags about some club he's in and how he's on
a first-name basis with the chef at the swankiest restaurant in
town.

Even though virtually every woman would roll her eyes at all of
that, the man behind the profile is completely nonplussed by his
lack of dating options. 

Either that or he's become convinced that "all women are
golddiggers" because that's all he's attracting.

Should such a guy ever go on an actual date with a real, live
woman nothing would be much different.  It would be all about
him and how much stuff he has.

Never mind how the woman would wonder why she's even there,
given how little the guy cares about her as a human being.

All she would be thinking about is how pathetic this guy is,
having so little confidence in his inherent attractiveness that he
feels the pressing need to hide behind a barricade of "stuff".

But the guy who knows how to make women LOVE him takes
an interest in her.  He also makes it a point to let her talk more
than he does.

He invests his energy in making a woman feel comfortable in his
presence.

And most of all, he rests in a certain confidence that he will
impress a woman by his very nature...all by simply being a man
rather than trying to convince her why she should be so impressed.

As the competent man makes every right move, the woman will prove
Dale Carnegie's famous age-old premise that the more you focus on
someone else, the more they'll be drawn to YOU in return.

He trusts that golden truth implicitly, knowing how dependably
predictable the outcome is.

Focusing on her.  Making her comfortable.  Letting HER talk.  These
are all subtle indicators of awesomeness.  The seeds of how cool
the guy is get planted in a way that's very much "under the radar".

Then they grow...and flourish.

It really doesn't take long before the woman is duly impressed.

A true badass with women can continue to pile on even more subtle
indicators of awesomeness.  The key is to indirectly allude to
the most intriguing aspects of who he is, all without ever really
gushing about the basic facts..and STILL making it all about HER.

Instead of blathering on about his travels to India, he invites her
over for Pav Bhaji, Palak Paneer and Tikka Masala. 

When she inevitably asks how on Earth he discovered such delicacies
even though they both live in Cincinnati, it's THEN he can casually
mention how he first got hooked on the stuff when he tried it along
Juhu Beach in Mumbai.

From there, he gives no details.  He simply relaxes, waiting for her
ask the inevitable questions based on her own level of intrigue.

Or, he may carry a weird shaped pocket knife.  When he produces it
to remove the tag off of something or whatever, he's not only
"Johnny on the spot" with a plan of action, she ends up asking him
where he got the cool knife.

Since it's an Ulu knife from northern Alaska, he gets to casually
drop how he picked it up when it was in Nome for the Iditarod last
year.

Or, when she has an issue with the brake calipers sticking on her
car, he's mentions off-hand that if she backs up about ten miles an
hour in an empty parking lot and slams on the brakes, it'll likely
solve the problem.

When she wonders aloud how he knew that, he'll succinctly disclose
that he "used to race those things", and it's a little trick he
learned along the way.

You can proceed in a similar manner from now on, too.  While you
may not be able to capitalize on the exact examples I've given,
it's highly likely that you've either done or can do some amazing
things in your own right.

The trick is to take inventory of those things and file them away
for future reference.

And yes, older guys.  Your cumulative life experience really does
give you an edge with younger women.

Take all those years of piano lessons your parents made you suffer
through and parlay them into being the one guy at the party who can
actually play the big grand piano in the center of the room...right
when it's time to sing "Happy Birthday" to someone.

Only exercise your knowledge of how to say "I love you" in German
when it's actually time to SAY "I love you" in German.

By the way, it's perfectly okay to look for an excuse to do that,
and even to engineer the opportunity a bit if need be.

Can you see the value of that?  While most guys can't wait to spill
every minute detail about everything they think makes them so
"amazing", the most impressive skill of all is directing social
interactions so you'll have a clear opportunity to BE amazing...
having it come off as natural, if not ostensibly accidental.

Get that mindset, be patient enough to use it to your advantage,
and then simply get on with the business of piling on subtle
indicators of awesomeness.

She'll love you for it.

Weirdly, that'll be true even if at some point she figures out how
you operate.  There's just something about the patience and
subtlety of it all that genuinely impresses her anyway.

Truth be told, it's the neediness and desperation typical guys
telegraph to women that's such a turn off.

Deep down, your skills and experiences are still as inherently
attractive and intriguing as you've always suspected they are.

You just have to handle letting a woman know about them the
RIGHT way.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


P.S.  More Facebook Live sessions are coming soon.  We'll cover
"urban masculinity", The Irishman, why some rich guys still don't
get women, and more.   Join the crew over at the Mountain Top
Summit Facebook group to get in on the action:


http://www.facebook.com/groups/mountaintopsummit




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