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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Shouldn't we forget about all of our ex-girlfriends
once we get a new one?

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WHAT ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE GIRLFRIENDS HAVE IN COMMON


The other day I was at the grocery store in the checkout line when
I saw something out of the corner of my eye that hit me like a bolt
of lightning.

My head snapped around at the cover of some women's magazine up
there on the rack that had just caught my attention.  I had to do a
double take.

As crazy as it sounds, for a second there I could have SWORN that
my wife Emily was staring back at me.

But then I noticed that the woman on the magazine cover's hair was
longer.

As it turned out, it was actually a famous actress...one I'd always
thought was one of the most underrated celebrity hotties of all
time.  Go figure.

Yet, I'd never made the connection.  It had never occurred to me
how closely my wife and that actress resembled each other.

They're both definitely my "type", for sure.

It's no secret that I have a very clear "type" of woman I like the
best, and yes...my wife is most certainly a primo example thereof.

But lately I've started to honestly consider if Emily is actually
the ultimate example thereof.

That thought process has in turn led me to wonder if the
fullness of my actual "type" is something only I can uniquely
relate to.

What exactly do I mean by that?

Well, it's a funny thing.  Over the years, the more women I dated
the more defined my "type" became.

My taste in music and in adult beverages has become more eclectic.

But not my taste in women.

Although that may seem a bit counter-intuitive at first, it really
makes perfect sense.

The more women you date, the more you know what you truly like--and
don't like--about certain ones relative to others.

But a truly weird phenomenon has taken hold for me, and I'm going
to go on a limb here to see if you can relate.

When you think about what kind of woman would be your "type", if
you're like me your first thoughts turn toward what she physically
looks like and perhaps her personality characteristics.

I think that's how most people go about considering what their
"type" is.

But have you ever stopped to think that maybe--just maybe--there's a
more subconscious component to it?

Could it be that you've also stored certain more unique
idiosyncrasies of women from your past in your data bank, check
marked them as "desirable" and assimilated them into your image of
the paragon of femaleness?

The only way I know how to describe this is to spill it out on the
table in plain English.

I'm 100% convinced that my wife Emily is a stunningly accurate
"mashup", if you'll pardon such a bizarre description, of all of my
favorite girlfriends from the past...even down to some traits that I
automatically assumed were flat-out unique to just one other woman.

Just to be clear, I'm not actively comparing her to someone else.

It's more like a completion than a comparison...and a more
comprehensive one than I ever reasonably thought possible, let
alone expected.

It's like she represents the fulfillment of everything I like most
about women, no matter how subtle or esoteric the traits may be.

I know...it's weird.

For example, Emily has the world's most endearing hiccup.  Yes,
hiccup.  The only other girl I've ever known with that same hiccup
was my favorite girlfriend in college.

Practically every day Emily will do something that reminds me of
how insanely granular my "type" really is.

She can feed the dog, read our kids a story, get that "I've got a
secret" look on her face, concentrate on whatever she's reading on
her iPad or even giggle a certain way and I'll immediately
recognize what I'm seeing or hearing as something I've observed
before elsewhere...and was attracted to.

And invariably, I remember exactly where I had observed it.  It's
always associated with a girl from my past who I really, really
liked.

Ultimately, I'm not sure if it's "politically correct" to talk like
this.  After all, aren't we supposed to magically forget our
ex-girlfriends when we find "The One" and marry her?

But if you ask me, I think the very purpose of all that dating I
did was to get as clear a picture of who I really want as possible,
not to sweep it all under the carpet.

From that perspective, to say the woman in my life is the
fulfillment of everything I've ever liked about all of my favorite
ex-girlfriends should be the ultimate compliment.

And guess what?  Emily does take it as a compliment.

There are at least two good reasons for that.  First of all, she
knows I chose her over all other options.  Second, she went through
a similar process in her dating life.

All of this points to a very clear recommendation from me to you.

Life is WAY too short to be a "serial dater".  Meet as many women
as you can and let your conscious and unconscious mind sort out
your likes and dislikes.

All the while let your own personal "type" develop like a Polaroid
photo until you can see it very clearly...in someone else.

It's an exhilarating and almost shocking thing to realize you've
done due diligence to the process and  you really have discovered
what you really wanted.

The journey itself can be a wild ride, although I've always
believed it can and should be a thrilling one.  But no matter what,
the destination is glorious.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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