[X&Y] 6 Ways We Steal Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory

Published: Fri, 06/07/19



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IN THIS EDITION:  Why is it that so many guys can SEE success with
women appear right before their very eyes, only to have it slip
through their fingers in an instant?

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6 WAYS WE STEAL DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY


Most of what we talk about around here revolves around the concept
of creating wild success with high quality women.

But here's a twist for you.  Have you ever stopped to consider that
we may sometimes manufacture failure from the building blocks of
apparent success?

Well, I sure have.  In doing so I've come to the harsh realization
that we as men do exactly that all the time.  Here are six prime
examples of when we end up losing with women when success was well
within reach:



1)  SEEKING APPROVAL WHEN SHE'S ALREADY GIVING IT
TO YOU



The equivalent principle in the sales world to this one would be,
"once you make the sale, shut up".

Gentlemen, once you have a clear indication that she's already
impressed, it's more than ever before time to STOP trying to
impress her.

If she's giggling at your most tepid jokes, telling you how
wonderful you are, showing surreal interest in your boring stories,
turning up for the second date and the like, she already likes you.

I promise.

For the love of all that is good in the universe, move forward.
Start talking about her.  Let her impress YOU for a while.  

Otherwise, you risk looking like a needy guy with low self-esteem.



2)  GETTING PUSHY WHEN SHE'S ALREADY BEING PULLED IN


Is she turning into a flirty, feline little vixen right before your
very eyes?  Is she getting "touchy feelie" and playing with your
hair?

That's all GREAT news.

Now, how about letting things flow naturally from there?  Not that
there's ever a right time to be pushy and impatient, but that's a
particularly bad time to start "escalating" her just to get to the
main event.

Not only will she appreciate letting the chemistry lab simmer as
long as it needs to, so will you when you find out how perfect the
end result is.

Meanwhile, if you blow it here and creep her out you'll likely
never make up for the loss.  She'll be outta there with a
quickness.



3)  ASSUMING HER ATTRACTION SIGNALS ARE JUST A GAME


It still never ceases to amaze me how a cutie can smile, flirt, ask
what a guy is doing later and then practically throw herself at
him...only to have the guy rationalize the whole scenario as some
sort of ruse or ploy on her part.

How about this?  Try treating those situations at face value next
time, and just see how that turns out.  Believe in your very real
ability to attract a woman you actually find attractive in return
just once or twice.

That's all I ask.  See for yourself instead of inventing a bunch of
"if/then" detours in your mind.  My bet is that it'll end well.

I can solemnly promise you that almost nothing confuses a woman
more and generates more self-consciousness in her than the blunder
I've brought up here...except, well, maybe THIS...



4)  STAGE TWO "FEAR OF REJECTION"


This one is particularly painful in my mind because it's altogether
too common.

Guys...if you've managed to approach her, start a conversation and
keep her engaged then you've GOT to make sure not to "bonk" at the
finish line.

Go ahead and get her number.  Really, it'll be okay.

You would think that if a woman actually chooses to keep standing
there talking to you when she was doing something else beforehand
that it would only follow logically that she'd like to continue
talking to you some more later.

But some guys don't seem to get that.  Even after having overcome
"fear of rejection" at the beginning, the mere thought of her
refusing to give her the digits is just too much to stomach.

The tragic part is that she probably would have given them to you.

And worse, she's probably genuinely disappointed that you never
asked.  Ironically, SHE'S the one who feels "rejected" at that
point.



5)  REVERTING TO "MR. NICE GUY"


This weird reaction to perhaps unexpected success with a
particularly desirable woman tends to happen when a sudden fear of
loss kicks in at some point.

You somehow believe that being a straight-talking "chooser" who
speaks his mind even when contrary to her opinions can't POSSIBLY
continue to work for you in the long run.

It must have been pure luck thus far that she's still around.  So
by all means, the thinking goes, it's time to be super "nice" and
give her whatever she wants.  Otherwise, it's only "logical" that
she'll run away.

Nonsense.  Screw common "logic".  Keep doing what was attractive to
begin with.  Always.



6)  MAKING A BIGGER DEAL OUT OF GETTING PHYSICAL
THAN SHE IS



It's not an original thought of mine, but I really suspect it's
very true:   Men talk themselves out of the bedroom WAY more often
than women do.

No kidding.  I'm convinced that men are responsible for more than
their fair share of "last minute resistance".

Who knows?  Maybe we tend to fear performance issues once it
finally comes to "crunch time".  Maybe we fear STDs and pregnancy
even more than women do.  Maybe they just forgot the condoms.

But wow...do we ever give women plenty of excuses NOT to get naked
with us, even when they're really hot for us.

"Hey, I just want to be a gentleman.  Are you sure you're okay with
this?"

Guys, if she's NOT, she'll be the first to tell you...and it'll be a
direct statement.  If she presents uncertainty in the form of a
question, oftentimes she's looking for you to take the "blame" for
being so naughty.  She needs for it to be all YOUR fault, you mad
seducer, you.



So how about it?  Can you look imminent success with women in the
eye and accept it?

Confidence is the key, gentlemen.  When a woman shows interest in
you--at whatever stage of your interaction with her--why not man up
and move forward?

Can you not trust that the end result will in fact be exactly as it
appears it's going to turn out...even if that's amazingly fortunate
for you?

Give ye olde "Too Good To Be True" Factor the heave-ho, and give
these women the gift of what they want and deserve:  YOU.  

Anything else will only point to mutual frustration.

 
 
 

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