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IN THIS EDITION:  If women are "all the same" no matter what, then
why should you even bother to do anything?

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[email protected]



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"WOMEN ARE ALL THE SAME.  WHY SHOULD I EVEN BOTHER?"


The other day I got an e-mail from one of you that really caused me
to sit back and think.  This question lifted from it is what the writer's
point really came down to:


"Why should I even bother to work on being a 'big four' man when
all women are still going to be the same golddigging, conniving
bitches that they've always been anyway?"


Isn't that a fascinating question?  It's basically the same as, "If
the Titanic is sinking, what good is it going to do for me to start
bailing with a bucket?"

Now granted, if one's experience with women has followed a
harshly negative pattern for one's entire life, it really is THAT easy
to make the assumption that "all women are the same", isn't it?

And indeed, if the assumption is that ALL women lack virtue, then
one could easily conclude that it's utterly worthless to do anything
whatsoever to become more attractive to them.

But there are so many inherent problems with such an attitude
that I can't decide which ones to shake a stick at first.

On second thought, yes I can:



1)  Anyone who thinks "all women are the same" is kidding
himself.


Worse, unless he's hopelessly self-absorbed (which is a distinct
possibility) he knows it.

All he has to do is look around and he'll see kind-hearted women
being friendly and doing perfectly decent things for other human
beings.

And anyone with half a brain can easily observe lots of terrific
women who are with guys who aren't exactly mega-millionaires...
clearly demonstrating that money isn't everything to them.

But because all women he attracts tend to behave the same way
towards him, he assumes the problem lies solely with the women
themselves.

That's the convenient, low-maintenance way to look at it.

Nevertheless, as I've mentioned before, if and when a social
pattern repeats itself over and over it's probably best to look in
the mirror rather than point fingers elsewhere.

Neither "all women" (nor "all men", for that matter) are the same.

Yes, I'll be the first to admit that there are some black-hearted
no-goodniks of BOTH genders. 

But it's NOT everybody. 

There are plenty of high quality individuals to go around, but in
most cases only for other high quality individuals.



2)  Bitterness will get you NOWHERE with women...ever.


I have to tell you, all too often the guys who have a negative view
towards ALL women are the same guys who have virtually zero
experience with them.

With repeated lack of success comes increased bitterness over time.

The real shame about that is that the cycle of failure only gets
perpetuated by that negativity, since women are most certainly not
attracted to it.

Therefore, the hole actually gets deeper and deeper to climb out of.

And in the end, the bitterness only destroys YOU, not anyone else.



3)  It's no secret that we tend to attract (or not attract, as it
were) EXACTLY who we expect to.


It's brain-dead simple, really.  If you don't like women then
voila...they won't like you either.  Go figure.

And if you think of them all in some negative way, that's not only
the type of women you are going to see, but those who feel up to
your "challenge" will rise to the occasion and work their way into
your life.

It's as if they recognize you're expecting to deal with them and
mentally prepared to do so.  Bam...in a twisted they sense they're
"welcome".

So then, the formula is elementary:  If you expect all women to be
"conniving golddiggers", then you'll deal with a lot of "conniving
golddiggers".

Meanwhile, if you sharpen up your own outlook and expect the best
from women, it's highly likely that you'll begin encountering the
best women.  Go ahead and put that to the test.



4)  Unfortunately, guys with attitudes like this are often reticent
to be persuaded otherwise.


I learned a LONG time ago that guys who write me crabby letters
loaded down with negativity toward women really don't want to
change.

As strange as it sounds, it's as if their lack of success with
women is comfortable enough to them that any effort to change
their stripes sounds like too much work for too little return.

Either that or it's about the collateral damage to their quest to be
"right" that changing their stripes might involve.

Either way, I have no idea why there's a need to write to me about
all of this if they have no desire to increase their success with
women. 

Many of the most negative e-mails I get actually attempt to
dissuade me from liking women and believing there are good ones out
there.
 
As I've mentioned before about that phenomenon, never mind how my
own personal experience plays into it...what benefit could I possibly
derive from being converted to the opposing point of view?

Guys, guys, guys.  Having a golden-hearted, beautiful woman of
character in your life is WONDERFUL.

If you don't agree and categorically reject the concept of having that
for yourself, why are you even here?  Is it just an attempt to take as
many otherwise happy dudes down with you as possible?

Just sayin...



5)  Any guy who's attempting to become more of a "big four" man
only to get more women has his priorities out of order anyway.


Let me clarify an important fact for you:  The best reason to work
on being a "big four" man is for your own betterment as a human
being.

To do so in direct hopes of getting women is really still tied to
chasing, not choosing.

Yes, I know I talk about being a "big four" man in context with
attracting high quality women all the time, but hey...this IS a
newsletter about attracting women.

But I don't want to be misunderstood.  This "big four" stuff isn't
merely a "hail Mary" play designed to help you get what you want.

It's far from just another PUA technique or whatever.  There are no
quick fixes, fast tricks or rote routines involved here.

When you really, truly deserve what you want as a high quality
man, then you stand a much greater chance of actually getting it.

There's no "going through the motions".

You either want to be a better man for the very sake of it, or
you're just faking it.



6)  All of this serves as legitimate proof of how important your
leadership is.


Most importantly of all, being a "big four" man really can inspire
women to be better women.

Similarly, being bitter and negative can point them in the opposite
direction out of despair.

Yes, this all comes back down to the common, natural fact that women
will follow your lead.

The very same woman can be one man's "conniving bitch" and another
man's angel, all based on how he runs his relationship with her.

No kidding...I've actually watched first-hand as certain women became
sweeter and more physically beautiful right before my very eyes--or
the opposite--based almost entirely on their boyfriend or husband's
attitude toward them.  Isn't that amazing?



As with so many other aspects of this life, your experience with
women is what you make it.

If you've ever found yourself becoming passively bitter, it's time
to stand up and celebrate the gift you've been given having been
born a man.

Yes, it's easier said than done if your feelings have been
ingrained deeply.  But you owe it to yourself to give it a shot.

If you're into the negativity deeply enough, you may feel compelled
after reading this to write me and tell me I don't get it, that I
must never have experienced "rejection", that I'm "taking
advantage" of other men's failure by "blowing smoke about empty
promises", that you think I'm some sort of "traitor" to my fellow
men because I actually speak highly of women, or vent some
schadenfreude toward my relationship with my wife.

I've heard it all, believe me.  And it's all been from bitter guys
who weren't succeeding with women, and who weren't challenging
that state of affairs in their own lives in the least.

But the truth remains the same, whether certain guys will
acknowledge it or not.

We as men really do have the ability to lead and to affect others
(including women) with our leadership.  The endeavor to become a
"big four" man is inherently worth it--even as a benefit to your
self-respect, self-confidence and self-esteem.

You might as well discover the wonderful women that come along
with it...and start enjoying them.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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