[X&Y] The #1 Most Curable Reason Why Men FAIL With Women
Published: Tue, 09/17/19
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IN THIS EDITION: There are times "rejection" happens when you
least expect it. But could it sometimes be a backhanded compliment?
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THE #1 MOST CURABLE REASON WHY MEN FAIL WITH WOMEN
Almost invariably, guys I talk to are genuinely good men with a lot going
for them. That goes whether they are actively spending time with women
at the moment or not.
I've noticed an odd pattern, though.
The pattern is this: They get rejected...A LOT. And they flat-out
cannot understand why even average women are repeatedly blowing
them off...online and offline.
After all, they've got so much to offer. What's up with these women?
Can't they see that?
Well, here it is: YES...those women most certainly CAN see that.
And that's exactly the problem.
What?
Here's what I mean.
To make the point, let's draw a picture of the quintessentially perfect
guy who should have no "limiting beliefs" whatsoever.
Consider a successful professional. Let's say he's 35-years-old,
in peak physical condition and financially stable. Better yet,
he's got the "big four" in full effect.
But perhaps he's getting over "Mr. Nice Guy" stuff, or he's coming
off a brutal break-up that has knocked him flat.
For some reason, he's not enjoying a wildly successful dating life
at the moment.
So based on advice he picked up somewhere along the way, he
decides to go after some "average" women online to warm up his
skills, and perhaps build his confidence.
Well, that ends up going nowhere. NOBODY responds. Not one
woman.
His confidence takes a massive nosedive.
His head spins. Clearly his pictures sucked, his profile wasn't
sharp enough and his first-emails lacked something, right?
Or his way of approaching is all wrong, his body language is
sending all the wrong messages, or...who knows?
So he tightens everything up and goes for a second round.
Yet, all he hears in return are pins dropping and crickets chirping.
Dejected, he GIVES UP.
Well, guess what?
His initial self-assessment was 100% correct. He does have quite
a lot to offer a great woman.
The problem?
He wasn't going after the caliber of great women he deserves.
Instead, he e-mailed women he considered "average" enough that
they were sure to like him.
For that matter, maybe he struck up conversations with them in the
supermarket, also.
It doesn't matter where it was, online or offline.
Ironically enough, it's likely that these women DID like him.
But they probably were also left to wonder, "What on Earth does a
guy like THAT want with a woman like ME?"
Yep...these are the thoughts that go through some women's minds.
If you think I'm kidding you should read Emily's e-mails sometime.
Women who don't value themselves as highly as they should seriously
avoid showing interest in the sharpest guys or giving them approval.
They automatically assume ulterior motives, and that's IF they
don't somehow believe that the guy's profile (could that be your
profile?) is a fake or a scam.
Raise your hand if you yourself have ever actually gone through a
"slump" online only to finally get a date and have a woman say, "So,
um....when's the REAL version of you going to jump out from behind
a bush? You're too good to be true."
If that has happened to you, here's the deal: You are settling
before you even get started. It's just as I've described above.
Now listen, this isn't something to beat yourself up over. The
"rejection" you are perceiving really could be a series of
backhanded compliments.
No joke.
In fact, I personally suffered through an embarrassingly long
stretch of this sort of thing myself.
But the breakthrough came for me when I realized it was time
to trust the process I had worked so diligently on.
It was time to fly without a net and actually start approaching
the very sharpest women out there, online OR offline.
I put my fire suit on, believe me. After all, like most of us, I
considered the highest-quality women too amazing to even
fantasize about.
But here's the thing. When I started focusing on the women I
really felt I deserved, great things started happening.
That's the breakthrough that resulted in solid response rates
online.
That's when I really started to raise the bar all around.
Why?
Well, simply enough, great women realize they deserve a
high-quality guy. And when he shows up, they take notice.
And guess what? Time and again I've watched guys I know
experience a similar breakthrough.
It all started for them when they put their thoughts of having lots
to offer a great woman into gear, once and for all.
So what's the deal? Do you suspect you are what a great woman
should want, but you aren't going after great women?
Are you feeling rejected, when in reality you've been intimidating
"average" women with your above average expectations?
Are your requirements in a woman betrayed by your unwillingness
to swing for the fence?
Do you not trust that the great ones really are waiting for you
to approach them?
Have you ever stopped to think that were you to get those
"average" women to go out with you, neither of you would be
happy?
Meanwhile, have you considered that the sharpest women are
often the most likely to go dateless?
Be a man. Lead. Deserve what you want. And give those great
women the rare, desirable experience in a man that they've been
craving.
My recommendation is to start doing it today.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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