[X&Y] 8 Times When You Should Cancel A Date (And How To Do So)

Published: Tue, 01/07/20

Getting a date is one thing.  Knowing WHEN and WHY to cancel one you already have set is another.  Here are eight ideas to guide the way.


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IN THIS EDITION:  Getting a date is one thing.  Knowing WHEN and
WHY to cancel one you already have set is another.  Here are eight
ideas to guide the way.

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8 TIMES WHEN YOU SHOULD CANCEL A DATE (AND HOW
TO DO SO)


Honestly, I'm a bit surprised that literally nobody ever has
covered this subject in the world of men's dating and seduction
advice, at least as far as I've seen. 

Then again, the focus tends to be on actually getting a date if
you're NOT seeing much action, so I can see how that's the skill
that gets priority treatment.

But what if you actually had a date on the calendar last night
that in retrospect you should have canceled?

It's altogether possible you might have one planned for tonight
that you're seriously "on the fence about".

So there's no question, really.  If you're about becoming a
chooser rather than the chaser, then you're going to have to
get your "cancellation skills" in order here.

This is a skill that EVERY man should have.

So with that, here we go...  What follows are 8 good reasons to
cancel a date with a woman, and what to do in each situation.

Get your sense of humor on, because you'll probably need it:



 
1)  She Already Sort Of Makes You Upset


I have no idea why we as guys do this to ourselves.

Oh wait...yes I do.  She's hot.

But if you already find your blood beginning to boil during
simple phone conversations with her, it isn't going to go any
better in person. 

The same holds true if she flat-out irritates you in some way. 

It could be her laugh, her political views or that way she
friggin' interrupts you constantly or tries to lecture you on
what you're already an expert at.

Maybe it's that generally speaking, she's generally speaking.

No matter WHAT it is, if you already know that the two of you
don't get along, why go through with the date? 

Simply call out the elephant in the room.  You're sure she's
a "great person" or something, but the two of you just seem to
be missing each other.  

Be the man here and save her the (further) discomfort of
bringing it up herself. 



 
2)  You're Already Bored


Another thing that can happen when we finally set up a first
meeting with a particularly hot woman is that we completely
overlook the fact that she has the personality of a paper clip. 

Let's face it, if you're dreading the date more than you're excited
about it, it's time to grow some self-respect and cancel the date.

I mean, if you're 100% sure that any interaction between the two
of you is going to be awkward anyway, informing her that you'd like
to call it off is possibly the least painful conversation you can
have with her.

The same M.O. as above holds true here.  Tell her she's very
"nice", but that you don't think the two of you are a match.
She'll be much happier with a guy who's personality enraptures her
a bit more than yours.

Yes, this is a variation on the "it's not you, it's me" concept,
but it's also probably true.  Just about every tedious person I
know eventually finds someone with whom he or she gets along
perfectly.  How or why that's possible, who knows? 

Chalk it up to the uniqueness of individuals and what makes them
happy.

And by all means, if the fact you've even planned the date a few
days ago has slipped your mind until you look at your schedule, do
the right thing.  Free that woman up to go out with someone who
cares.



 
3)  Signs Of Games, Potential Flakiness, Or Getting Played


If this one doesn't get to the very heart of self-respect, I
don't know what does.  It's no secret that women "test" you,
especially particularly hot ones. 

But as a selector who is in total control of his dating life,
you've got to draw the line on where "testing" turns into blatant
game playing or even flat-out manipulation.

For example, if she calls you at 3 in the afternoon on the day you
are allegedly supposed to take her out that night and says, "Oh,
hey...I can't make it.  How about some other time?" then she'd
better have brought an excuse along. 

And it had better be a REALLY GOOD one.

If you want to be the leader in this situation, again call it as
you see it.  If the excuse is legit, DO GIVE HER A CHANCE. 

I realize some may tell you to cut her off right then and there,
but in my mind to do that smacks of personal insecurity.  Think
about it. 

Sometimes stuff really does come up, and you have to respect that.
Believe it or not, Emily actually canceled our first date together.

And obviously things worked out pretty well when we rescheduled.

But if she's just running lame "flake out" game on you, tell her
it's all good...you suddenly agree that BOTH OF YOU have better
things to do.   

If you find yourself uttering these words, here's a caveat:  This
will likely fry her circuits and give her a fresh dose of amped up
attraction for you.

Forget it.  The die has been cast with regard to what you can
expect from her in the future. 

Here's a dime.  Find a more mature woman to date instead of a
little girl.   You don't have to tell her I said that...exactly.



 
4)  You've Never Seen More Than One Pic Of Her, Or Have
Never Talked On The Phone


This is for you guys out there who are online.  One pic on her
profile isn't going to cut it.  Ask for more. 

If she's offended you would ask, let that be a red flag.  If she
won't talk to you on the phone before meeting you, let that be
another.  And as you know by now, red flags do not a pleasant
dating experience make.

By the way, the same holds true if a "blind date" is in the works.
You won't be offending the friend who set the two of you up if you
ask for the pics and the phone number ahead of time.  Really.

If you don't get any joy here, explain that you simply cannot
commit your time and energy to meeting her if she is unwilling to
commit the time and energy to assure you there's a possibility of
mutual interest.  Period.

For most guys, exactly one disastrous result of having overlooked
these details in favor of misplaced optimism is enough for the
lesson at hand to be learned.  I'm trying to save you from having
to learn it the hard way.



As you can see, there's a LOT to consider with this topic.

With that in mind, I'll close for now.  We'll pick up where
we left off tomorrow with the second half of the list.

Stay tuned...


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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