PERSPECTIVES: New Book "WHY WE'RE ATTRACTED" and Excerpt on "Bisexuality"

Published: Wed, 04/27/16

 
PERSPECTIVES
Newsletter of Shepherd Hoodwin and Summerjoy Press​​​​​​​
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NEW BOOK!

Why We're Attracted

Being in love is one of the great highs of life, yet it is often elusive or ephemeral. Unrequited love is a common theme of songs, and almost everyone experiences it on both sides. Just why are we attracted to some people and not to others? This book explores a multitude of factors on three levels: spiritual, psychological, and physical. Being able to identify the elements of our attraction to someone can help us be clearer on what we have and what we don’t. In comparing them to our relationship priorities, we can determine whether there’s enough there for a long-term relationship.

Topics include agreements, life path, soul chemistry, male/female energy ratio, celibacy, body-type attraction, sexual orientation, monogamy, and polyfidelity.

​​​​​​​It's about 84 pages (18,000 words) and is $4.99. You can purchase Why We're Attracted​​​​​​​ here. I always welcome feedback and much appreciate reviews on Amazon for all my books.

At this time, Why We're Attracted​​​​​​​ is only available on Kindle. You don't need a Kindle device to read Kindle books. There are free apps available for virtually every computer, phone, and tablet. Eventually, there will be print versions available of all my books. In the meantime, if you would rather not read on a device, email me and I'll send you a PDF that you can print.

 An excerpt, "Bisexuality," is below.
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​​​​​​​VIDEO INTERVIEW
On the Michael Teachings
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C.J. Liu
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CJ Liu interviewed me for her show "Fire It Up with CJ." This is the first of several parts.
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BISEXUALITY

Excerpt from

WHY WE’RE ATTRACTED
Spiritual, Psychological and Physical Elements
That Draw Us to Others

By Shepherd Hoodwin


In Messages from Michael, Michael said that there are older souls “who have lost their strong sense of gender identity and have freed themselves up to love whoever comes along in whatever way seems most appropriate at the present moment.” After all their lifetimes as both male and female, they are less identified with the body they happen to wear at the moment, and they respond to the soul in other people rather than to the body. That might be the ideal. We can’t make ourselves feel that way if we don’t, but I know some predominantly straight and gay people who have deliberately opened themselves to bisexuality in an attempt to break down their barriers. They may not have stuck with it long-term but feel that it enriched them, helping them become more balanced.

Sarah Chambers, the first Michael channel, channeled something to the effect that all female bodies have the hardwiring to be bisexual, perhaps because the feminine is responsive and can respond to either male or female, and that 25% of males do (in addition to those who are gay). Bisexuality does seem to be more common among women.

This implies the fascinating idea that sexual orientation has both a “hardware” and “software” component. The hardware (biological and energetic) factors include genetics, body type, and how the endocrine and nervous systems are configured. The software factors include, most importantly, the soul’s history and intentions, as well as cultural and family imprinting. They determine how the person in the body actually wants to use its capabilities. This suggests that even if a soul isn’t strongly identified with his body, if the body is male and is hardwired solely for heterosexuality (or homosexuality), the man won’t be bisexual.

A surprising number of people who identify as being gay or straight have enjoyed bisexual experiences that they think “don’t count” or feel they need to keep secret so as not to jeopardize their standing in their community. For example, some politically active feminist lesbians fear they would be ostracized if it were discovered that they sometimes slept with men. Some men on the "down-low" think of themselves as straight because they only "top." Many people are truly only straight or gay, but some are bisexual despite their identification.

The definition of bisexuality is hard to pin down. Most people could derive some pleasure from the touch of either sex such as when receiving a massage. There’s a gray area between the therapeutic and the sensual. If someone is aroused when receiving a massage from someone of the same sex, does that alone make her bisexual or gay? Probably not. If someone enjoys it when a person of the same sex performs oral sex on him, does that make him bisexual or gay? Maybe not — it depends on whether the gender of the person is material to his arousal. Perhaps a realistic definition of bisexuality is that a person can be aroused by the bodies of either sex, as opposed to simply deriving pleasure from being stimulated.

There is a spectrum of bisexuality, from being a little bi but otherwise straight or gay to 50-50. A person’s place on that spectrum is not necessarily fixed — it can fluctuate depending upon the circumstances and what’s happening internally. Many can easily be monogamous with either a male or female, but some need both at the same time.

Bisexuality is often unconscious until something activates it and brings it to the surface. It can be limited to one or a few sexual activities or it can be as fully engaged as the sexuality of a straight or gay person. Some women, for example, like to be with other women only above the waist. Some men won’t kiss another man — it has to be purely sexual, without emotional attachment or romanticism, which they reserve for women. This may help them preserve the idea that they’re not gay, just fooling around, or it may indicate that they have physical but not emotional attraction to men.

Sometimes, people fixate emotionally on the same sex but physically, on the opposite sex, or vice versa. For instance, a woman may emotionally want to be mated with another woman but her body responds more to men. Conversely, she may be more physically excited by women but feel that something is missing and find men more fulfilling emotionally and/or intellectually. Perhaps their emotional needs can be fulfilled through friendships. If not, and if this can’t be worked out in therapy or otherwise, one solution might be to mate with a male/female couple with a bisexual member.

Some gay and straight people don’t like to kiss or be romantic, either, often due to fear of intimacy. Many sex workers won’t kiss their clients because they reserve that for someone with whom they’re emotionally involved. They associate kissing with relationship, not just sex.

In general, artisans, sages, and priests are more romantic than the other roles. Warriors and kings tend to be matter-of-fact about sex and most other things, and can distrust what they perceive as excessive floridity. Scholars are often game for anything, but their neutrality doesn’t naturally lean them toward romanticism. Servers appreciate romanticism — a small gesture often means a lot to them — but they’re big on “first things first”: basic needs take precedence for them.
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