[Our Transitioning Times] Messages From Your Past

Published: Wed, 09/20/23

 

Welcome
 

Dear Readers:

The quote that is featured on the Absolute Transitions website for the month of September 2023 resonates with me very much. In a world that is constantly changing around me, I happen to be an individual with very strong memories of my past. I can recall details of encounters from childhood, young adulthood, various trips I have been on, and interactions with people in my work life in the financial services field vividly. I often draw strength from my past.

I realize that is not true for everyone. For many, remembrances of the past are very painful. Others are driven to stay “up to date” with the latest styles, technologies, and trends. While often one sees quotes that chastise individuals for living in the past, especially if it appears to be “holding them back,” or forcing them “not to let go” of past grudges and slights, I feel to completely discount the past in terms of evaluating your present and how you may want to do things moving forward in your future does not benefit one. I know it certainly does not benefit me.

I was discussing this with my wife even before sitting down to write this monthly newsletter and she said to me that being tied to your past and getting joy from remembering it, often goes hand and hand with what in your past has been grounded. For me, that past is grounded in growing up in a blue-collar family in a small suburban town in New Jersey. It is grounded in a model of home which is not common today, but was very common at that time. My father was the one that worked outside the home. My mother was home with my two sisters, brother and myself and ran our house. Dad had the more outgoing personality, and taught us to engage with everyone we meet, and get to know them on a first name basis. That was established by introducing ourselves on a first name basis. I see that lesson practiced in the way my siblings and I interact with those who come into our life today.

Mom was admittedly more reserved, but she too taught us a simple lesson that also stays with us today. You do not choose the people who are part of your life by their status in life, the color of their skin, their ethnic background or religion. Her advise was simple. If people are nice to you, then you want to be nice to them. In a culture that seems to have everyone at odds with each other, it still is grounded in me today. The town that we grew up in was also blue collar in nature.  Some would say it was not the best place to grow up in because most everyone there was “like us,” in that they were from working class families like mine, many of the same Roman Catholic religious background, and the same ethnic Italian American heritage. However, they would be wrong. That upbringing was based on family, accepting people for who they are, and even now as I approach my 50th High School reunion later this year, being connected to many of my friends from my high school class. And, even in that group, when one did not “fit the mold,” (different religion, different ethnicity, different skin color), they are accepted in as part of the group, because the common thing that bonds us is growing up in that suburban blue-collar town.

I bring all this to the table this month, because using it as a foundation to what I do which is Career Coaching, and more so Job Search Strategy coaching, it has a place in that process. I was speaking to a new client earlier this week.  He is returning to the workforce after taking an absence of a few years when he lived outside the United States. We were speaking about the type of work he did, (which was Information Technology User Support), and how he went down that path in life because he was encouraged to do so by his family “so he would always make money.” And, while it served him well, he admitted, he always had a desire to be a teacher. We will be exploring in the coming weeks what may be best for him now at this time of his career, and capturing the skills and talents he brings to the table, no matter what discipline he chooses to pursue.

This month, I look to share with you how examination and clues from your past can be powerful messages as to what you may want to choose now in your life’s career journey. There is no such thing as “it is too late” to go back and do something you always desired to do. 

As usual, if you have any questions or items you would like to discuss with me, please feel free and reach out to me at
[email protected] or call me at (201) 306-9811. I look forward to hearing from you.

Tony Calabrese

www.absolutetransitions.com
[email protected]
(201) 306-9811


Messages From Your Past 
 

I have the privilege of interacting with clients at different points of their career journey. For some, it is after they have been let go from their job by their employer. In other instances, it may be after a family relocation. With still others, it may be when they themselves determine working at their current company or in their current industry is not what they desire to do anymore. And, for others it may be after they have obtained a new degree or skills certification. Sometimes clients will say to me I know exactly the work I want to do. This is the type of career I have had; it is what I am trained in, and I need to find a job in this discipline as soon as possible. In other cases, there is more hesitancy and doubt. There is acknowledgement that while they may have done work in a particular field for a long time, they have never really enjoyed the work. For others, there is a curiosity as to what other things they may be able to do.

While those who are more in doubt are open to the thought, it is of benefit for just about all of those who go into job search to take a step back at the beginning of the job search process to determine what type of work, industry, and location of that work that they may want to do. To do so will require self-reflection. It will require introspection of what they have done in their past in their life, (whether in an actual job for which they were paid, in a volunteer role, or perhaps as an assignment in school), and ask themselves the following questions. What have I done in my life that I feel is an accomplishment of which I am proud? How much did I enjoy myself in completing that accomplishment? What were the skills that I used that helped make that accomplishment a successful outcome to me?
 
Instead of just thinking about their past accomplishments in their head, they should take the time to list them out. Ideally, they come up with several. Perhaps 20 to 25 should be listed. If they cannot think of that many, at least a grouping of 15 accomplishments will do. Then the accomplishments should be ranked, with the job searcher identifying they are most proud of, then the one their 2nd most proud of, etc. At least, look to identify the Top 7 accomplishments. And, again, look to see what skillsets seem to be present in each of those accomplishments.

If one was to feel that perhaps identifying this many accomplishments will be too onerous a task, at least give yourself time to reflect. What are the stories of your life that you remember with joy? What are the ones that you seem to remember repeatedly? What did you accomplish in those stories? If you are not sure, ask yourself these inquiries. What was the problem or challenge that I faced at that moment? What actions did I take or in conjunction with those around me? What was the result of those actions, and how did they benefit, yourself, those around you, or those for whom you might have been solving the problem? Again, look to list these stories down, and, look to identify skill sets that you have used. Does it appear that those skill sets are used repeatedly in your life?  

What do those who have known you for any length of time continually compliment you on in terms of getting things done in a situation that involves finding a solution to a problem? What may be types of job roles or fields you have given thought of being a part of in the past? If you say to yourself, that mindset was long ago, and there is no way at this point of my life I could get involved in that field, do not be so fast to dismiss it. While, you may not have the desire or motivation to complete a long degree process in that field of study, is there a shorter-term certification process you can invest in? Is that certification process available to you easily, (say online, and to be done at your pace in the comfort of your home). Could a field that once was of interest have aspects of it that play on talents and skills you exhibited throughout your work life, that are now transferable to that area you thought you might once in which to be involved?

Yes, the world may keep changing. New technologies and jobs come along all the time. At the same time certain roles may become less and less prevalent. However, that does not mean throw out your past experiences entirely. The bottom line is that we all have talents and skills that we are both blessed to have and enjoy using that can be very beneficial to others. Taking that examination of your past experiences and successes is an outstanding way for you to determine what those skills are for you, and how you may choose to use them in your next venture in life.


 
 
About
 

September 2023 - Closing Thoughts

Stuck on an issue that you can’t move forward with in your life? Not sure what steps to consider taking in your job search? Absolute Transitions offers 1-hour complimentary consultations to any individual who wants to learn more about life or career (job search) coaching. You can take advantage of this offer by signing onto www.absolutetransitions.com and clicking the Complimentary Coaching Consultation tab. Or you can call me at 201-306-9811 to discuss. I’d love to hear from you.

Absolute Transitions coaching also continues to offer two very popular complimentary e-Courses. The course entitled “5 Key Steps in Searching for Your Next Job” is invaluable to those currently in job search or considering changing careers. “Overcoming Obstacles to Change Your Life” provides participants five choices on how to deal with conflict situations which come into their life. Sign into the www.absolutetransitions.com website to sign up by filling in your name and email in the appropriate sign-up boxes on the right hand side of the page.

If you are looking to move your career forward, suddenly find yourself out of a job or under employed, look to get help in your search. While a career coach is one option, there are several outstanding support groups likely to be in your area. Whether held at your local library, run by a church or by your state Department of Labor, don’t go through a job search alone. Those in search find that having support, (often just from other job seekers), helps to move a search forward in a productive manner. Another thing to keep in mind, has been since the advent of the COVID 19 crisis, many of these groups offer their sessions virtually, online.

If you have recently moved to an area, especially if you are accompanying a family member or friend who has moved due to a job transfer, consider your own needs. There is a lot to consider when you are the “accompanying partner.” There are acclimation issues, job search issues, settling children in school, etc. If you would like to discuss the type of support you likely may need, feel free to reach out to me, and I would be glad to discuss with you.

Over the last 2 years, I have been introduced to an outstanding new assessment tool of which I am a distributor. Known as the “Absolute Transitions Career Values Assessment,” it is based on 7 sciences. The tool provides those who take it feedback on their top 7 work values, if any of those values are out of alignment in their current life, the types of ways they work best, and the types of work environments which may be best for them. Please reach out to me at the email or phone numbers below to learn more.

If you have any questions on any of the material in this issue or a suggestion for a topic you would like to see covered in a future edition, please contact Tony at 201-306-9811 or reach out to him at [email protected], and he would be happy to discuss it with you.

Look for the next issue of “Our Transitioning Times” coming to you on October 18, 2023.



Absolute Transitions, 14M Highland Place, Maplewood, NJ 07040, USA
 


 
Tony Calabrese
Absolute Transitions
http://absolutetransitions.com


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