Dear Readers:
The quote that is featured on the Absolute Transitions website for the month of September 2023 resonates with me very much. In a world that is constantly changing around me, I happen to be an individual with very strong memories of my past. I can recall details of encounters from childhood, young adulthood, various trips I have been on, and interactions with people in my work life in the financial services field vividly. I often
draw strength from my past.
I realize that is not true for everyone. For many, remembrances of the past are very painful. Others are driven to stay “up to date” with the latest styles, technologies, and trends. While often one sees quotes that chastise individuals for living in the past, especially if it appears to be “holding them back,” or forcing them “not to let go” of past grudges and slights, I feel to completely
discount the past in terms of evaluating your present and how you may want to do things moving forward in your future does not benefit one. I know it certainly does not benefit me.
I was discussing this with my wife even before sitting down to write this monthly newsletter and she said to me that being tied to your past and getting joy from remembering it, often goes hand and hand with what in your past has been grounded. For me, that past is grounded in growing up in a blue-collar family in a small suburban town in New Jersey. It is grounded in a model of home which is not common today, but was very common at that time. My father was the one that
worked outside the home. My mother was home with my two sisters, brother and myself and ran our house. Dad had the more outgoing personality, and taught us to engage with everyone we meet, and get to know them on a first name basis. That was established by introducing ourselves on a first name basis. I see that lesson practiced in the way my siblings and I interact with those who come into our life today.
Mom was admittedly more reserved, but she too taught us a simple lesson that also stays with us today. You do not choose the people who are part of your life by their status in life, the color of their skin, their ethnic background or religion. Her advise was simple. If people are nice to you, then you want to be nice to them. In a culture that seems to have everyone at odds with each other, it still is grounded in me today. The town that we grew up in was also blue collar in nature.
Some would say it was not the best place to grow up in because most everyone there was “like us,” in that they were from working class families like mine, many of the same Roman Catholic religious background, and the same ethnic Italian American heritage. However, they would be wrong. That upbringing was based on family, accepting people for who they are, and even now as I approach my 50th High School reunion later this year, being connected to many of my
friends from my high school class. And, even in that group, when one did not “fit the mold,” (different religion, different ethnicity, different skin color), they are accepted in as part of the group, because the common thing that bonds us is growing up in that suburban blue-collar town.
I bring all this to the table this month, because using it as a foundation to what I do which is Career Coaching, and more so Job Search Strategy coaching, it has a place in that process. I was speaking to a new client earlier this week. He is returning to the workforce after taking an absence of a few years when he lived outside the United States. We were speaking about the type of work he did, (which was Information Technology User Support), and how he went down that path in life
because he was encouraged to do so by his family “so he would always make money.” And, while it served him well, he admitted, he always had a desire to be a teacher. We will be exploring in the coming weeks what may be best for him now at this time of his career, and capturing the skills and talents he brings to the table, no matter what discipline he chooses to pursue.
This month, I look to share with you how examination and clues from your past can be powerful messages as to what you may want to choose now in your life’s career journey. There is no such thing as “it is too late” to go back and do something you always desired to do.
As usual, if you have any questions or items you would like to discuss with me, please feel free and reach out to me at [email protected] or call me at (201) 306-9811. I look forward to hearing from you.
Tony Calabrese
www.absolutetransitions.com
[email protected]
(201) 306-9811
|