Twenty-eight years ago, I moved my tuxedo store to Regina and my girlfriend said, “We should go out for supper and celebrate your new business.” I said, “Sure, but we are not going to the bar after!” Well…she won, and we did go to the bar and I met my husband, Darren, that night. We just celebrated our 25th
wedding anniversary.
Here is what I know for sure.
In order to be happily married, you have to first be happy yourself.
Darren and I have been through a lot. A. LOT. And the commitment I made to my marriage was that I would take ruthless care of myself so that no matter what was happening I would come to the marriage “full”. Darren wasn’t to make me “happy”, I needed to be happy first.
Communication is key.
We are constantly communicating. The 90%s and the 10%s. You cannot sweep your relationship problems under the carpet. You will trip over those lumps in the carpet for your entire marriage. We have woken up 1,456 Saturday mornings together, poured a tea and coffee and checked in on how we are doing. In the worst of times, in the best of times - we have talked it out.
Focus on each other’s 90%s.
Truly. Seeing each other through a lens of love, patience and compassion has allowed us to be kind and loving towards each other. It is so easy to see the 10%s! I could list 10 things that bug me about Darren and he about me. But I could list you another 90 that I love about him too. And I tell him often, so often, how much I love and appreciate him.
Take care of you. Then take care of those you love. In that order.
Cheers,
