It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. ~Epictetus
Friends, this is going to be a teaser of another blog because I am still dealing with fall out of the December tornado that affected my home gallery in Hendersonville. Last Thursday, I picked up twenty-two paintings and five books from them. They have to clear out of the space completely for major repairs and structural renovations over the next few months.
Thankfully, I had already been working to find new retail spaces to share my work and now with this situation, my effort had doubled. Something exciting came together over the weekend that is giving me a limited amount of time to write to you today. (Read below about a local art event THIS THURSDAY in my
announcements section).
For now, I will give you a glimpse into a Christmas present that has been life-changing. Only today, I’m going to tell you why, in the first five minutes of using this gift, I could have been
scarred for life and totally missed the gifts that came from that present.
Let me back track. Last summer, a friend had told me about float tanks with their physical, spiritual and emotional benefits, and that she
had always wanted to try one. I read about it and was very intrigued, but then forgot about it.
When I was trying to think of a cool gift for this person, I remembered the float tank, got excited again and bought
visits for us to go together. I felt so drawn to the experience, but I did have some concern, wondering if I would feel claustrophobic.
The person working the desk gave us the tour and told us what we needed to know to
enjoy our ninety-minute float. I was still a bit nervous but I locked the door, took the mandatory shower, hopped in the tank and closed the overhead door. The lights in the room operate on motion so for a little bit, I could see the cracks illuminating a few air holes down by my feet and then the lights went out. So far, so good.
They offered a floatable pillow to help those who might want their head elevated a little. I tried it both ways and preferred to float without the pillow. I set it aside but it kept floating back into me, disrupting the goal of sensory deprivation. I had only been in there five minutes and didn’t want to fight that pillow the rest of the time, so I decided to open the door and set the
pillow out on the floor.
Without hesitation, I pushed up on what I thought was the door and it didn’t budge. I pushed again—nothing happened. I started pushing in other places and every time I pushed, it sent me to the
middle of the tank. Because I was floating in water unable to touch the sides or the other end with my feet to stabilize myself, I didn’t have much power to push with, which added to my frustration. Talk about not being able to get a grip!
Panic began to set in. I began beating myself down, thinking how foolish it was of me to get in this metal tank without thoroughly understanding how to get out! Could they hear me if I started to scream? If the light was on, I could have figured it out, but inside the tank, there was no way to trigger the motion sensor to make the light come on.
I wondered if I had gotten turned around in the first few minutes of floating because while weightless in water, part of what happens is you begin to lose sense of the physical world. I made my way to the other end of the approximately eight foot tank and felt along the walls. When I found the air holes I had noticed before the lights went out, I
knew that was not the end with the door.
Panic was really setting in at that point. Every kidnapped and buried alive scene of terrible movies flashed before my eyes. I was LOSING IT. Suddenly, I paused and asked God for
help (very intensely), because I knew if I continued to panic, it was not going to end well and I would lose my ability to help myself.
Back at the other end, something made me sit up. I hadn’t tried that because I didn’t
think I could sit up, but it was just tall enough. That gave me a way to ground myself when I started pushing on the walls. Breathing deep and calming myself, my hands went up higher than they had while laying down. I finally stumbled over the door handle and lifted it up, totally trembling head to toe.
The light popped on with the opening of the door and then of course, it all seemed so simple. Hindsight is 20/20 right? My adrenaline was spiked so high and I was tempted to call it quits, yet even more determined to not let this unfortunate experience steal all the gifts I had been so excited to receive.
With all the courage I could muster, I slowly closed that lid again. I sat there for a few minutes holding that handle, assuring myself I was safe, and remembering that to find the door again, I would have to sit up.
I can’t even begin to tell you how incredible my float experience was after completely calming down to enjoy the remaining eighty minutes. That will be part two, coming soon. I loved it so much, I would have gone back the next day and the next. I have purchased ten more sessions already, if that tells you
anything.
If sharing this terrible start to an amazing, life-changing experience has caused you to instantly swear off float tanks for life, please make sure you read part two. For now, let me end with what my
couple of minutes of terror taught me.
In the float tank, I had the power the whole time to get myself out. All I had to do was calm down, ask for help and let inspiration come. I knew there was a way out, I just
temporarily couldn't find it. In fighting to stay calm, I let that hope carry me through. I had just been pushing really hard in all the wrong places. By not giving up, I found my way. Doesn't this sound like so many of our life struggles, and the way out?
This experience also showed me vividly that many times our difficulties are of our own making, and a calm spirit will lead us to the solution. Some things just happen and our job is to solve the problem—to not freak out and lose the ability to help ourselves. We can’t control much of what happens to us, but we can control how we react.
We don’t want to hear that, do we? We want to get angry and blame them, him, her, it. Or spiral into helplessness and do nothing. I could say it was a bad tank design or an incomplete set of instructions. But my friend didn’t have this experience. I'm guessing 99% of people don’t have that experience.
No, this was on me, there's no one else to blame. I got myself into it (literally!) and it was on me to get myself out. If we can own our lives and take full responsibility for where we are and how we got here, we also can own
our power to set ourselves free.
I hope you will wait open-mindedly for part two. I can’t say enough about how the float tank has changed my dedication to meditation, mindfulness and stillness. For today, know that you
are free and that feeling trapped is a temporary illusion.
