Let's talk about poop and why we hang onto it, take it out to look at it occasionally (or often, for some), smell it to confirm it still stinks, and talk about it over and over
to ourselves and pretty much anyone else who will listen.
This idea was prompted by me looking into the fridge this morning and seeing a bag of cat poop I was able to nab over the weekend from the specific cat we
needed a sample from. (No small feat, let me tell you!) I'll be taking it to the vet today for analysis. FYI It's triple bagged in zip-lock, so I'm not contaminating anything and we can't smell it.
When I saw the bag this
morning, I had the realization that we would NEVER store our own physical poop to take it out from time to time to revisit, re-examine, and re-hash with others. So why do we do this mentally?
We kept our granddaughter
this weekend and I heard for probably the twelfth-million time, how one of her and her mom's roommates stole her hot pocket out of the shared fridge. "It couldn't have been this guy, because he doesn't like cheese, so I think it was this person." Yada yada, I know the WHOLE STORY verbatim and could tell it myself. And I tell her this, "Here we go again with the hot pocket story. That was two years ago. Let it go." She has a really good pizza restaurant story too, that's probably four years old
that I can now say by heart.
She is only eight, but she has learned to preserve the poop! She will tell everyone who will listen all about each stinky situation, every last detail. And she isn't the only one living
in past doo-doo. Why do we do this?
When we're living in our old, crappy stories, we are missing the gifts of the present. Gifts, great ones, could be happening right in front of us, but we're too busy recounting
something that stunk in the past.
We might as well have a bag of poop in the fridge! A few of them! We could label them for easy reference:
*What my (ex) husband said in 2002
*What my teacher said in 1985
*What my boss did to me in 2014
*What my parents didn't do when I was five
*What the check-out lady said to me last week
*What that driver did to me yesterday
... And the list (and bags of poop) could go on and on.
Now that's a lot of stink to carry around, don't you think? Yet, how many of us are doing it? Most of us to some degree or another have smelly junk we're dragging around.
If you are one of the few who doesn't hang onto poo, I would say, "Hmmm." And, "Isn't ignorance bliss?!"
It isn't human to NOT at least
occassionally resent the way life goes down and dwell on how we wish it was different, and/or how wrong someone is or was.
I know someone who frequently boasts they don't carry any resentments, yet they will share
the same "bad stories" over and over with me. They just won't admit to themselves that they have resentments and unforgiveness. We all collect bags of poop, whether we will admit it or not, but how long we carry them is up to us.
I used to have a sackload of poop I carried around everywhere. I kept a handy mental list too, and could recite each piece at will.
Today, I work really hard to name my resentments as soon as I spot them,
look at any part I played, give myself what I need or needed in the situation, forgive the others involved (and me where appropriate) and choose to move on.
Sounds easy and guess what? It's as easy as I decide to
let it be. It's as hard or harder to decide to stay mad and sad and nurse all those bad feelings. It does help to have someone to talk these things over with, to help us see our own blindspots. To help us know when we're bringing up the poop for the umpteenth time.
It's always a good time to clean out the fridge, especially the mental fridge that's preserving the poop of the past.
Say what happened. Ask how you contributed to
the mess, or what about you or your past experiences brought this situation to you. Be honest and consider where you have acted just as wrong, doing the same thing or something similar to them or someone else. Reflect on what you needed, and what they needed. Ask what you need now. Allow the process to help you develop compassion, for them and you. Forgive and move on.
Today, I hope you will notice what bags of poop you are hanging onto, take them out and deal with them. I would say deal with them once and for all, but sometimes making peace with the past happens in layers.
We can go through the motions today, to acknowledge and forgive the best we can today, only to later find a little bit more anger, hurt or grief was buried and has decided to come up for healing. If/when that happens, we deal with it again until we can truly feel neutral and undisturbed, knowing that what happened is part of the
past and it's over now.
Every day we process and let go of what we can, with a conscious choice to make room for the good stuff! Less poop, more gifts. It's a great swap!
