This past weekend I got to spend some quality time with my Framily.  These people are my friend-family. My chosen family.  People who have literally been with me through some of the darkest days of my life thus far, and will also walk alongside me through the ones that await (cuz there's always more).  

So naturally we get into some murky stuff as we wade through the years and losses we have lived together.  We wondered aloud: do you have any regrets?  Would you do everything, as it has played out, over again? 

Without sharing too much of their stories, because they are not mine to tell, there were some real regrets.  Of not taking our grandparents up on the opportunity to connect with them when we had the chance.  Of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on higher education, and being very tangibly in debt for a long time.  

And yet- we all felt like we were perfectly where we needed to be.  Even if where we are is uncomfortable.  There are real teachings, gratitude, and self-love that we have cultivated from the time, money, opportunities, and people we have lost.  We wouldn't be perfectly ourselves if we had chosen a different adventure.  

I consider this quite a bit given the last 10, especially last 5, years.  In my life, we have lost our best friends and family. We have nearly lost everything (several times over) to create this place called Eastside Natural Medicine.  I have dreamed hundreds, and maybe thousands, of times to walk away from it all because of how much the work and the loss robbed me of days, weeks and years with my son, my joy, and myself.  

Do I regret it?  -No. 

And what would it matter if I did? 

Would it make it not have happened?

Would I do it over? -Yes

Which feels crazy to me to even say that.  Why would I deliberately choose to lose a best friend, days of my son's life, or my well-being all over again?!! 

Because I am better.  Not best.  Not perfect.  But better.  

And so is my business. And my son.  

And my health.  And my heart.  

I may never have chosen myself otherwise. 

And I will tell you what...now that I have, I am never going back.  I feel as well, as strong, and as on fire as I was at 21.  Half a lifetime ago.  

Our greatest failures, heartbreaks, and losses can be our best medicine.  They may possibly be the only medicine.  

**So, as always, I turn it back to you.  Would you do it again?**

Let me know what you think.  I am always learning and listening.  

Take care of your hearts, Sunita